Page 37 of Whenever You Call

“Me, too.”

“We could always figure it out together. I have a big kitchen I don’t know what to do with most of the time, and we both know how to use Google, right?”

He paused again, a man who always processed his thoughts before he spoke. “Did you just invite me over?”

“I… I think so, yeah.”

“What about Bella?”

I looked at my daughter from across the pool, her eyes alight with the joy of sun, water, and friendship, and all I could think about was needing to keep that spark there. She needed to see some life in this huge house we now lived in. She needed to keep jumping around, laughing, and singing, not afraid to tread on eggshells or worry about her mom crying or finding herself without energy from one moment to the next.

“I think it’s about time Bella had a mom who could do something other than mope around, don’t you?”

Chapter16

LOGAN

Hannah opened the door to me standing there holding two brown paper bags filled with groceries. I shot her a smile, and she shone one right back before tucking her hair behind her ear and gesturing for me to step inside.

That little hair tuck was starting to kill me.

I followed her to the kitchen, trying hard not to pay attention to the foyer area where I’d first seen Cole when we’d barged through the open doors and slid to our knees to try and save him. But no matter how hard I tried, my skin prickled to life anyway.

You shouldn’t fucking be here, you asshole. You’re taking this too far.

I had no idea if that was Cole’s voice or mine, but either way, I sucked in a deep breath and followed Hannah into the kitchen, trying desperately to leave the memories of that night behind.

Clean, white marble flooring set off the tone of the space we walked into, the interiors a mixture of white and gold, with glossy counter space and matching tiles, finished off with obviously expensive finishes that made the place look like something straight out of a showroom catalog. Funny how the white décor in my home made it look barren while this felt like the perfect place to raise a family. Despite its size, it was warm and welcoming, and I could see why Cole had chosen it for the women in his life.

Hannah moved around to the opposite side of the kitchen island while I dropped the bags to the center of it. Her eyes caught mine, and something shot into my chest that made me want to fucking vomit. A pain I found I liked, leaving a lingering ache that somehow settled and grew at the same time.

“Where’s Bella?” I asked, just for something to say.

“She had a friend here earlier for a playdate. That friend’s mom came to collect her, and Bella whined enough to get an invite round to theirs for the afternoon. Luckily, she’s one of the moms I trust endlessly, and my daughter knows it. She also gets what she wants more often than not,” she said with a small smile, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes at me. “You don’t have to be so nervous, Logan. I invited you here.”

“Who said I’m nervous?”

Her brow arched as she reached for one of the brown paper bags and began to unload some of the groceries.

“Fine, maybe a little,” I admitted, smiling back at her. “This is just a big-ass house.”

“Takes your breath away, doesn’t it?”

Not as much as you do, I wanted to say, but I wasn’t an asshole about to hit on a dead man’s wife. I chose instead to hold onto that stray thought while I dragged the other bag closer to me to unpack with her.

“I still can’t believe it’s ours. Well… Cole’s, I mean, but…” Hannah trailed off, the happiness slipping off her face like an oily mask she had no control of.

My hand stilled around a can of coconut milk in the bag, and Hannah’s eyes pinched at the corners as though she’d only just remembered that her husband no longer existed and this house was, in fact, hers now. She stared into the distance for only a few seconds before she shook her head and got back to unpacking the bag.

“Sorry,” she muttered. “I still can’t get used to those moments. The ones where it hits me that he’s gone, and the pain comes back for a second, as though I’d allowed myself to forget at some point.” Her eyes met mine again. “Stupid, isn’t it?”

“No.”

“How do you do it, Logan? How do you see so much death and move on from it?”

My throat closed up. I pulled the last few items out of the bag I was working on. “I try to avoid that part of the job as much as possible.”

“Does that work out for you?”

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