Page 131 of Whenever You Call

I couldn’t lose him.

I wouldn’t survive it.

Even the thought felt like a gunshot to my already broken heart.

The moment I could, I reached for Bella, picking her up and wrapping her around me, forcing her to bury her head into my neck to shield her from the wreckage in front of us.

“Mommy,” she whimpered.

A neighbor offered help by asking to take her from me, but I refused, clinging onto her tightly, needing to feel her heartbeats so I remembered how to keep up with my own.

She shouldn’t be here. I knew that, but I also couldn’t leavehim.If I turned and walked away, I was scared it would be forever. That I’d never get to see him again. That I’d never get to hold him or kiss him or look into his eyes as he made love to me. I’d never get to tell him how I couldn’t walk away from him now—I’d been such a fool to think I ever could have.

Bella and I were no longer a duo. We were a trio of three, and Logan had become the heart of it. We needed that heart to keep beating.

The thought of Logan leaving me shredded every bit of survival I had left. Without him, I’d never truly live again.

It was only when I heard a familiar voice say my name that I blinked several times and allowed myself to turn toward it. The sight of Livia nearly brought me to my knees again.

Without saying a word, she gathered Bella into her arms, making sure to keep her turned away from Logan before she offered me a sad smile that said so much without saying anything at all.

“It’s your turn to be there for him now. Go. Bella is safe with me.”

I opened my mouth to argue—to tell her Bella should never be away from me again—but one look in Livia’s eyes, and I knew it was the right thing to do.

Logan needed me, and I refused to let him down ever again.

I pressed a kiss to Bella’s head. “Livia will take you inside, bug. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be just fine.”

“Will Logan be okay?” she asked, her breaths stuttering as her tears fell like little waterfalls, and it didn’t pass me by that it was the first time she’d dropped the Mr. from his name, despite encouraging me to call him Logan from the start.

“He doesn’t know how to leave us, Bella. He’ll come back. He has to.”

The lies we told our children in order to keep them safe…

When her and Livia finally walked away, I sucked in a shaky breath and ran toward Logan who was surrounded by three men and two women, each of them doing their part to save his life. Firefighters and paramedics filled the streets. There were oxygen masks, tubes and wires, needles, and kit I didn’t even understand all around Logan, all of which brought a chill to my skin. Medical terms I didn’t understand were shouted out and tossed around like they were speaking another language entirely.

It only frightened me even more.

“Logan!” I cried. “Logan, please!”

His name fell from my lips like a prayer, over and over as pure terror tore through me, making my limbs shake and my heart race into dangerous territory. But I wouldn’t let my body’s reactions control me. Not when he needed me the most. He needed me to be strong.

I was charging forward when a pair of hands came up to my arms, holding me tightly before I slammed into a hard body.

“Let me go!” I cried, gasping for air.

“Hannah, stop. Please.”

I blinked again, trying to focus as I slowly turned to the man in front of me, made up of kind eyes, his own heartbreak, and a resilience I was instantly envious of. He tried to smile, but it only made his face crease in pain even more than it already had been. His eyes were fighting to hold back his tears.

“I’m Jerry,” he croaked.

I scowled, recognizing the name. “Logan’s friend…”

He nodded and swallowed down his emotions.

I searched his eyes, begging for good news as I clung to him. “Don’t, Jerry. Don’t look at me like that.”

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