Page 19 of The Bad Wedding Date

“What makes you so sure I am?”

He shot me a look that told me not to be stupid.

“Fine. Do you want the serious response or the flippant one I want to give that will end this conversation quickly?”

“Serious, please. Flippant is a waste of both our time.”

“The serious answer is that I don’t know for sure.” I picked up my wine to take a drink, stalling for time before I dropped it back to the table. Fraser was focused on me and nobody else. There was no getting out of this. “I sometimes think it was because we received different love growing up, and that turned us into two completely different beings born from the same thing.”

“Explain that one for me.”

“Emmie has always been the darling. The princess. The one who would get the good grades and willingly followed the path my mother wanted her to take. But she was spoilt, demanding everything and anything, no matter the cost. My parents gave it to her to keep her quiet.”

“And what did you get?”

“I got left alone.”

Fraser scowled, a hundred questions swirling behind those eyes of his.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Iwantedto be left alone. I never really excelled at school, although I got by. I didn’t want for anything, but I didn’t demand extra, either. They found that confusing. My parents loved me—still do, I hope—but I think I’ve always been a thorn in their side they can’t remove. A puzzle they can’t work out. They don’t know what I want, and truth be told, neither do I. I just know it isn’t bags and boots or jackets and diamonds. It would be easier if that was all I wanted. They’d be able to give me that. Unfortunately, Laurie and Mitchell Grant need control, and I’ve never been able to offer them my life on a plate to do with as they please.”

“That’s deep for a first date.”

I laughed as the next course was placed down in front of us. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m a drama queen.”

“A little too self-deprecating, sure, but you’re not a drama queen. I’ve been around a few of those. Take my word for it. I’d know if you were one of them.”

I cast a quick glance at my gleeful parents before I turned back to Fraser and leaned in, opening up a piece of my heart I hadn’t shown to anyone before. Not even Jonah. Fraser had somehow become my confession booth, and there was a sense of freedom in releasing old demons to people you never thought you’d see again.

“I was young when I first realised their conversations bored me. I didn’t care about cars, clothes, or designer labels, and I was made to feel like I should. The unimportant stuff, they wanted me to be enthusiastic about. The important stuff, they didn’t.”

“Like what?”

“What really made me happy. Reading. Art. Reckless adventures in muddy fields with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face. I wanted life—both the good and bad sides of it—while all they wanted werethings.”

I’d said too much. I could feel it in the way my heart pinched, warning me to stop talking about the people I called family in front of someone I didn’t even know. It was a treachery you couldn’t take back.

“There’s nothing wrong with looking at life differently to everyone else,” he told me.

“Then, how come everyone makes me feel wrong for it?”

“My guess is that you care too much even when you’re pretending you don’t.”

Fraser and I stared at each other for a moment too long before I inhaled again and strapped on another weak smile, needing to move back from him before he somehow pulled even more truths from me that shouldn’t be shared.

* * *

The worst part of the wedding had arrived. The part I dreaded the most.

The speeches.

The Mayor of London had already made a short announcement, proclaiming his gratitude towards my parents for taking Lucas in before moving on to ask for a moment’s silence for his daughter who had passed away in an unfortunate car accident several years ago. At that point, I’d looked at Lucas, seeing his head dip as he closed his eyes to remember someone he’d loved and lost. That, for the first time that day, had been the first sign of raw emotion on Lucas’s face, and it made my heart tighten at the sight of it, as did the look on his twin brothers’ faces, both Hugo and Giles following Lucas with a bow of their heads. Their youngest sister Rosie, however, wasn’t at the wedding, and Mayor Williamson gave no reason for her absence to the crowds.

I wondered if she had the same affliction to these things as I did.

After the sorrow of the moment drifted away, the mayor launched into tales of his love for his new daughter-in-law, letting everyone in the room know that he was as much a fan of the new marriage as their bank manager was sure to be.

I struggled to keep my face neutral when my mother pretended to cry, and everyone lapped it up like she was some sweet, adorable little puppy they could coo over. Fraser kept his back to the top table for the most part, his attention solely on me, and he kept whispering small jokes in my ear to help me relax. My gratitude grew with every passing second, and I wondered what god had been listening to my prayers when they sent him to me.

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