Page 118 of Ghost Note

“Like they’re a final gift goodbye in case I never see him again.”

“You can see him any time you like. It isn’t him who’s going to stop you… it’s you.”

“How the hell can I leave Hope Cove?”

“It’s easy.” She shrugged and looked back out at the ocean again. “You just put one foot in front of the other, and you keep going until you’re gone.”

“I don’t know any other life other than the one I’ve made for myself here.”

“None of us do, but I know one thing for sure, Dais. If I had a guy even half as in love with me as Danny is in love with you, I’d be out of here quicker than lightning.”

“No, you wouldn’t. This place is in your blood.”

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly. “But there’s a big bad world out there beyond that horizon that we’ve spent the last twenty-five years looking at. As much as I love the view, wouldn’t it be great to sit on some different hills and look at what was in front of us. Imagine not knowing how the sky was going to look in spring, or what breed of bird was in front of you. Imagine going places like Australia, Japan, America, Germany, France, and Spain, and comparing their benches and beaches to our very own. Comparing how their sand feels between our toes compared to Hope Cove’s. I don’t want to die having only known one way of life like my parents did. I don’t want to assume I’m going to live forever to get the chance to see all those things, either.” She turned to me again, her smile genuine, and her love pure. “We never know when the helicopter is coming down, Dais. Don’t wait a day to get out there and live your life. It’s just too fucking short, no matter how long it lasts.”

Forty

My emotions were running too high to contact Danny that day or night in case I said something I didn’t mean or did something I would come to regret.

He wanted to gift me with things that equated to hundreds of thousands of pounds, and I didn’t know how to reject his offer. This wasn’t about my pride or feminism. This was about me not wanting to hurt him in return. My house and shop were one thing… but to take hisgrandmother’shome, too? What right did I, a Piper, have to own the heritage of a Silver? That held more value to it than just money and cheques filled with zeros.

Saturday drifted by, and Sunday arrived, not proving to be much brighter than the day before. I’d spent the evening cuddling the pillow Danny slept on, still able to smell his aftershave and the unique, masculine scent that belonged to nobody else but him.

I’d dreamt about us being together in sleep, only to wake and daydream about him as the hours ticked on by. Gina had insisted that she was going to work The Cove Festival that day. At first, I’d protested, but that hadn’t lasted long. She was having none of it.

As much as I didn’t want to miss it, I also knew that there was no way I could strap on a smile and represent my business while I was in this state. It may have been the biggest event of the year for Hope Cove, but it wasn’t the biggest event of the year for me.That had happened a week earlier when the love of my life had returned to flip my life upside down again.

Now he was gone, I had no desire to watch couples walking together, hand in hand, or to see people dressed up as pirates, exactly how they’d dressed the year before. And the year before that, too. Selfishly, I needed a goddamn minute—and by minute, I meant a day. Maybe two. Maybe three—so I spent Sunday in bed, and while Netflix held my attention for a short while, in the end, I turned to YouTube again, just to see him in action.

This time I wasn’t looking at him with fake hate in my eyes or trying to convince myself a monster stared back at me. The only thing I saw in every music video, every interview, and every stage performance now was the man who loved me enough to give me security. The man who wanted me to go with him, wherever in the world that adventure took us. The man I should have been proud of back then, instead of seeing only myself and my own problems.

Hours and hours passed by of me crying into my phone or laughing at some of his interview answers. I was familiar with the faces that surrounded him now: Quirky Halo and too cool for school yet dorky Theo. Easy going Archer was always in the background, no doubt happy to be there and just get off the stage so he could be with Saffron again. Then there was Fletch, smiling away, living his dream. Jules sometimes made an appearance in the video footage of the band entering or leaving nightclubs, the cameras of the paparazzi flashing all around them.

I watched footage of fans chasing their tour buses down the streets, and, yeah, I stumbled upon some things that had my stomach turning over with jealousy, like the videos of Danny leaving a club with a girl trailing behind him wearing his jacket over her shoulders. I tried to rationalise that those girls could have been friends, but even I knew I was lying to myself. Danny never looked happy in those times, though, and I couldn’t miss the slight scowl he wore when the camera flash went off around him, or the way his jaw was set tight, and his shoulders were tense.

On the screen, he looked like a superstar—too perfect to have come from a village like Hope Cove, and too good for the likes of little old me. He was a poster boy for the young, handsome, rock star life… yet he loved me.Me.

When my bum cheeks started going numb from sitting around all day, I threw on my grey jogging pants and my white ‘I Love Devon’ T-shirt before I made my way downstairs. The stereo stared at me from the corner of the counter while I made coffee, and I didn’t think about it too much when I turned it over onto the radio and waited for music to fill my house for the first time since Danny had been in my kitchen, making breakfast.

I recognised the song instantly. It was the same song that had played when Danny drove his dad’s sporty little number, and he asked me to dance all those years ago.

Somewhere in My Heart,Aztec Camera.

My smile erupted, the memories of it no longer hurting or haunting.

I danced around the kitchen, unable to stop myself. I danced like a fake-smiling eighties pop star, tapping my feet and clicking my fingers. It felt like the first time I was hearing music, and I never wanted the song to end. The lyrics flooded my veins, making me jump around with my eyes closed before the guitar riff kicked in, and I imagined Danny performing this on stage. I imagined those strong arms, with muscles tensed and veins popping as the crowd cheered for more… and the possibility of me being on the side-lines, knowing that as much as that crowd wanted him, it would be my body he’d be playing later that night when we went to bed.

The lyrics poured through the speakers, and the singer sang about how the silver splits the blue. They told me that the closest thing to Heaven was rock ‘n’ roll, and how love would see me through. They sang that, somewhere in my heart, there was a will to be set free, and the only thing I needed to do was be true.

True.

What the hell did I want?

Danny.“I want Danny,” I said aloud.

When the song finished, I came to an abrupt stop, panting with strands of hair covering my face. My lips were parted, my heart pounding wildly as a chill ran over my skin.

It was the chill of change, and I couldn’t escape it. Every lie I’d ever told myself and every fear I’d ever let control my life crumbled like ash, drifting away with a gust of wind that didn’t exist.

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