Page 20 of Ghost Note

Seven

Ben and I walked side by side, heading in the opposite direction of Beechfield Park, and out towards Ivan Lloyd’s caravan park, where the pedestrian walkways allowed you to head through the fields that tourists rarely ventured. The sun beat down on my bare shoulders, making my already sun-kissed skin warm. I was wearing a cream, floral day dress with thick straps, and a knee-length finish. It was slightly tight around my breasts, and I could see Ben side-eyeing the material there when he thought I wasn’t looking. It felt nice to be adored by a decent man… rather than being told I’d lost too much weight, or that I looked different now. Which I had and I did, but still…

Arsehole.

When forty minutes had passed, and we were approaching the Harbour & Hope pub on the beachfront again, Ben turned my way but looked over my head pensively.

“Do you think,” he started, dropping his eyes down to mine, “there will ever come a day when you want to hold my hand?”

“Youaregoing girly on me. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to be the one doing the whole ‘where are we?’ talk.”

“But you’re not.” He smirked. “And you’re you, Daisy. You never will. So, I have a proposal for you.”

“A proposal?” My face paled.

“Not that kind… Jesus.” He laughed. “Calm yourself.”

My hand flew up to my chest without thought, and I blew out a breath. “Goddammit, Ben.”

“Although, it’s nice to know where you’re at with that.”

“You know I can’t marry a guy who wants to take me to Sandros every Friday night.”

Ben tilted his head. “Which is why I think you and I should take a break.”

My smile faded, and I looked up at him in confusion. Another rejection. Another man saying I wasn’t good enough. Another man turning me away when the going got tough.

Ben grabbed my arms, holding me in place as he bent at the knee and made eye contact. “I like you a hell of a lot Daisy Piper—you know that, too—but I’m not the kind of guy to keep waiting around for a woman to look at me like I mean something, either.”

“Ben, of course you mean something.”

“I know that, but I think you need some time.”

“What I need is you.”

“Need and want are two very different things, and there are several types of need. You need me as a friend. You need a strong pair of arms to run into when you’re all confused in your head. You need a smile to walk through the shop door and make you feel a little lighter. But what you don’t need, Dais, is me. I could be anyone.” Ben laughed softly, his face offering me nothing but sincerity and warmth. The exact opposite of my encounter with Danny the night before.

What the hell was wrong with me?

“Plus, I’m not getting any younger over here,” he raised a brow. “These years of ours are too precious to waste on pretending.”

I willed myself to protest and beg him to see things differently, but the truth was that everything Ben had said was right. The love I felt for him wasn’t the kind that set my soul on fire. When we had sex, it was amazing, and he satisfied me, but my head and heart were empty throughout. Ben’s touch kept me going back for more—not his soul.

It wasn’t fair to him to play him along like this.

“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me on the day I finally called us a thing…” I said, aiming for humour. Despite my smile, my voice broke, and tears prickled my eyes. I was so bad at goodbyes even when the goodbyes weren’t even a goodbye at all.

“Right?” He huffed. “I’m a royal bastard for that. I know how much thething-thing meant to you.”

Laughing without humour, I dipped my head and shook it. Ben let me go and tucked his hands away in his pockets, and when I looked up at him, Iwascrying. I hated to admit it, but these tears felt like some kind of happy tears, too. Relief tears, maybe?

I’d never wanted to break his heart.

Ben was giving me a gift I hadn’t even known I’d needed.

“See.” He smiled. “You know this is what’s good for you.”

“I’ve never been particularly good at knowing that but thank you.”

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