Page 66 of Dirty Rock

“Nope. She’s no longer with the band. She’s quit. She’s just Julia now. Regular, boring Julia.”

“Shit. What’s happened?”

“Well… I might have fucked her.” I rolled my eyes again. “Once or twice. You know how it goes.” I wafted a hand through the air like she was inconsequential.

“You…?”

“Yep. Fucked her good. Did the deed. Broke down the ice queen. Became the daddy. Showed her the peen,” I said, popping the p in peen—a word I wasn’t sure I’d ever used before. Still, it was better than going with baguette again. “You know what I’m saying?”

“Bloody hell,” he whispered.

“What a headline that would make, huh?” I sighed again. The weight of the world had been placed on my shoulders, and I couldn’t figure out a way to shift it. Bottomless alcohol and bad jokes were my usual go-to, but they weren’t doing shit for me right now.

The engine roared to life, and without a word, Dex drove us away from Mersea Island. The sat nav on the dashboard lit up the car, and I kept glancing at it as it directed us away from Julia. With every street we drifted farther away, my stomach sank.

Dex’s sudden vow of silence also started to piss me off after ten minutes. I could feel the tension rising as he tried to bite his tongue.

“Fuck, just say it, will you?” I growled, squeezing my eyes shut and rubbing my palm over my forehead.

“Say what, exactly?”

“That I messed up.”

“If you want me to give you my opinion, you’re going to have to tell me what happened.”

“Jesus, I can tell where Presley gets his Gandhi bullshit from.”

Dex smirked, looking exactly like his nephew before he eyed me smugly. Still, he said nothing. Without further prompting, I told him everything. About the night Julia had come to me when upset. About the thoughts I’d had about her. The time I’d spent at her home—time that seemed like a lifetime ago, not a few short hours before. I could still feel her kisses on my skin. My palm still throbbed from holding her hand all day. I could hear her moans and smell her perfume.

“And after all that, she didn’t have the guts to tell me she was quitting on us,” I finished. “I had to find out from Hawk, while staring straight into Julia’s eyes.”

Dex pressed his lips together, taking another turn before he straightened the wheel and sighed to himself.

“Is this what older women are like?” I waved my hand in the air again, seeing two of the same hand as the alcohol took control and made me lose focus. “Just a constant mindfuck? Always saying one thing, doing another.”

“She’s hardly older.”

“Maybe you’re right. Shit, Dex. Her skin. Her skin, bro. Her skin is the softest skin I’ve ever felt. It’s like a damn baby’s! Softer than any prissy model I’ve ever been with. I couldn’t stop licking it. Not just those intimate places either. I mean all of it.”

“Not sure she’d appreciate you sharing that info, mate.”

“It’s not like I told you how she tasted, come on. I mean, if I could, I would, because I feel like everyone should know.”

“You probably shouldn—”

“FYI: she’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever had on my tongue.” I leaned closer to him and pointed right at his face. “Ever. And I fucked JJ Jones. She wasterribleby the way. Jones. Not my sweet as honey JuJu.”

“Your what now?” Dex chuckled.

“I know.” I groaned, letting my face fall. “A fucking pet name. I’ve never given anyone a pet name. This is the shit that’s going on with me right now. JuJu.” I curled my nose up. “Did I really just say that?”

“You sure did.”

“I think I’m broken, Dex. Like…” I stroked my chest with all ten fingertips. “I’m messed up in here. It keeps aching. Pinching together and twisting itself up. My heart feels higher—too high. Breaths shorter. Does that make sense? Nothing’s where it used to be anymore. Nothing works the same way.”

“No shit.”

I groaned at his smug expression. “What? What’s that look for? Why are you doing that face?”

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