Page 131 of Cherry Beats

I shuffled closer, swallowing the pain I felt on his behalf, knowing my voice wasn’t what needed to be heard there and then. This was about him, and his need to speak.

I wanted him to speak.

“Every night, I hit those drums to deal with the anger I feel at the world for making me live without him.” He looked up slowly, his sad eyes meeting mine, once again. “He wore a mask every day of his life to try and make everyone around him happy. Olivia, me… he loved us too hard, and when my mum trod on him over and over again, he still couldn’t bring himself to hurt her the way she’d hurt him. So, he hurt himself instead. He took off the mask, threw it on the floor and let it smash to pieces. He dropped his fake smile—let it slide right off his face like it didn’t even fucking matter, and he took a look at the real him in the mirror. Do you know what happened?”

“No, baby,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes.

“He hated the man staring back. He didn’t even recognise who he saw.”

My fingers dug into Presley’s hair as I stared at him, filled with soul-destroying, devastating empathy and heartbreak.

“I don’t ever want to become that man, Tess,” he breathed, his brows creasing together. “I don’t ever want to live for everyone else instead of myself. No matter what.”

“You won’t,” I assured him, shuffling closer so our bodies were pressed together, and our faces were level. “What your father did was a desperate act in a dark moment he couldn’t find his way out of. That’s not who you are. I’ve never met someone like you, Presley. You’re so aware of yourself—it’s inspiring. It’s one of the things I love about you the most. But don’t you see, wearing a mask isn’t the problem here. Everyone does it. Even you. I’ve been with you all this time, and I had no idea of the pain you carried deep inside.”

“Pain that goes away whenever I’m with you. I know what I want, and I know I’m selfish with it, but you’re all I need. You’re all I want.”

I smiled as a tear fell down my cheek, across my nose and onto the mattress. “I’m here for you,” I told him with all the honesty I possessed. “And I’m glad you took off the mask for me this morning.”

“No more secrets,” he assured me.

“No more secrets,” I repeated. “No more lies. No more waiting.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“No more masks, either. That includes yours, Presley.”

“Don’t worry. My mask can’t hurt me. Not like Dad’s did him,” he slurred, his words growing heavy as he closed his eyes again and released a sigh that warned me of impending sleep.

I took a moment, running my hand through his hair until I saw his lips part and the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

“No,” I whispered. “But it can hurt me.”

Chapter Forty-Two

Iwoke to an empty bed, patting the pillow beside me aimlessly until I lifted my head and opened my tired eyes.

He wasn’t there.

Moving slowly, I lifted myself up and looked around the empty space. A mild form of panic started to rise in my chest.

Did he regret telling me the secrets he’d kept inside him?

Did he regret opening up and seeing the pity I struggled to hide?

The empty room didn’t answer my questions, so I moved, dressing as quickly as I could as I shrugged into some black jeans and a fresh white T-shirt.

I searched the room for my cherry boots and pushed my feet into them, keeping the laces loose as I walked towards the bathroom and began to tie up my hair.

When the door opened, and Presley stepped through it, I stopped in my tracks. He was effortlessly breathtaking, as always. The grey beanie hat hung from the back of his head. The black leather jacket that was distinctly him made me want to throw my arms around him, squeeze him tight and tell him about the butterflies in my stomach that always woke when I got my first glimpse of him like that. Instead, I let my eyes drift down to the cardboard cup holder in his hands, carrying two cups of takeout coffee.

“Thought you could use a pick me up,” he said smoothly. “One that didn’t involve alcohol.”

I took a cup from the holder, wrapping both hands around it as I stared at him. “You should have woken me. I could have gone with you.”

“I think I kept you awake enough this morning.”

“Still… I didn’t know where you were.”

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