Page 60 of The Inevitable Us

The door to my office opens unexpectedly. I look up to find Rosalie staring at me. She closes the door behind herself. “All done for today!” she says.

“Skipping class?”

“Nope, class is canceled. I’m free as a bird.”

“You know now that you’ve cut down on classes, you have a lot more freedom. We can do this however you want. If you wanted to, you could work for a little while, something that makes you happy, and when we have kids, you could stay home. Whatever makes you happy.”

Her body freezes, and she looks up at me wide-eyed. “Kids?”

I look at her, my eyebrows furrowed. “Well, I’d just assumed you wanted them? Because I very much do, with you. And I’m forty-one already. I mean, the timeline is going to be up to you. I’d just rather be able to chase after them.”

She pauses, her body frozen. “Umm, yeah, I always assumed I’d have kids one day. Never really considered it any other way.”

She’s very quiet for a moment and walks over to the monitor. “Why are you looking at real estate?”

“Because when I leave Taylee’s, I need to find a place for us to live. Benson Security will be too big for me not to run it full time if it keeps growing like this. I’m just doing some preliminary research right now.”

She walks over to me and looks at the houses on the screen as if thinking. I pull her into my lap and rest my hand on her knee. “There’s Farragut. It’s more suburban. Room for Ranger to run. Whatcha think?”

She grins up at me. “I like that idea….”

“By the way, Baby Girl, I packed up some of your shit to bring over. Including the vanity. Tired of your hair ties all over the damn place.”

“You could have asked,” she says, her voice scorching.

“I could have, but I’m not,” I say with zero remorse.

She’srearrangedeverythinginthe bathroom again. I’m searching under the sink for a band-aid, rummaging around, and find a strange blue and pink rectangular box. I’d only seen a pregnancy test before when Angelique had another baby and sent pictures of the test to the whole family. The box is open, the cardboard top closed, but not sealed. She’s taken the tests.

Reaching into the cabinet, I pull out the box containing two tiny plastic tubes while flashes of a dark-haired little one of my own roll through my mind. A little boy with Rosalie’s smile. A little girl…oh god, a girl. What the fuck would I do with a daughter?

Removing the sticks, I glance at the results. My spine tingles with disappointment when I see “not pregnant” on both sticks. Not just that she’s not pregnant, but that Rosalie had thought, if so briefly, that she’d conceived our child and not told me. These hadn’t been under here yesterday morning. Had she grabbed them last night when she ran to the store for ice cream? I’d thought she was just angry about the vanity still… Was this why she was in such a shit mood all night?

Was she upset at the prospect of a child now or at the vanity? Disappointed to not be pregnant? She’d told me she’d had a shot, and I’d believed her. Not that I care if she conceives. The longer we’re together, the more I hate that she’s on the birth control shot. It’s the lying that would sting.

Even if Rosalie wasn’t pregnant, she should have told me she was concerned she might be. I had a right to be in that bathroom. What if she found out she was pregnant, and I’d missed out on it?

My disappointment turns to anger as I walk down the stairs, my evidence in my hand. Walking over to the counter, I push the tests in front of Rosalie.

She’s cooking red beans and rice and stops, staring at the test wide-eyed when I hand them to her.

“I…..” she starts to say, looking at me doe-eyed as she turns to look at me.

“You thought you were pregnant and didn’t tell me,” I accuse, staring her right in the eye.

“I didn’t think I was pregnant. I just… hadn’t had a period, and the doctor said I should have at least one more period before the shot makes them completely disappear. Mine just stopped. I wanted to make sure before I ended up on a Discovery Health documentary, ok?”

“That’s not a reason not to tell me, Rosalie. We’re a couple. You’re supposed to tell me everything! You’re upset about shit, you tell me. You’re worried about work, or something going on with us, you tell me. You’re worried about your family, you tell me. If you think we have a baby on the way? You definitely tell me.” My words rumble out, low.

She crosses her arms and gives me a scowl of incredulity. “Maybe Sawyer, I wanted to have three whole minutes to myself to process whatever the results would be. Maybe I wanted a second of space before you come in dictating and telling me what’s going to happen.”

I give her a wolfish smile.“Rosalie,you tell me.”

Her nostrils flare and she makes a sweeping gesture with her arms before raising a prideful chin high. “No. If I’m worried about something and I’m not ready to talk about it, I’m not. You’re just going to have to live with that.” She turns on her heels and thumps loudly towards the kitchen island.

I always said I wouldn’t touch Rosalie when I’m mad. But I’m not angry, I’m….amused? Amused at the image of all five foot two of my Baby Girl trying to lay down the law.

I tap my foot impatiently for a five-count, running the image of tiny Rosalie glaring up at me, a full foot taller than she is, before coming up behind her, grabbing her by the waist, and hauling her over my shoulder.

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