Page 80 of Reckless

They’d had lunch in a restaurant overlooking the water, their party took up pretty much the entire place. After the meal, she’d headed to the deck to get some fresh air and stretch her legs and Miles’s uncle had followed.

“There’s more of us back home. We seem to grow exponentially every few years,” Ben told her.

“Miles told me about Thanksgiving in Hood River. It sounded fun.”

“We like being together. It’s weird, but it works. I imagine you’ll see for yourself. Listen, I wanted to speak to you in private.”

Harlow’s stomach lurched. “I’m so sorry about that interview. I swear to you I had no idea she was going to say any of that, or I wouldn’t have gone. I didn’t even know she was Miles’s ex until near the end.”

Ben paused and then ran a hand down her arm. Just a brief, reassuring touch. “No, please don’t apologize. That wasn’t the first time our relationship was brought into an article or interview. Won’t be the last either. We know you didn’t have anything to do with it. But what I wanted to talk to you about is connected in a way. Todd and I run a personal security firm and part of what we do is background investigation. Miles talked to me a little about the situation. He told me he’d mentioned to you that if you wanted, we could look into your mother’s life. See if we could find anything that might help you understand her and her choices. We can look for things like police reports or activity. I’ll check what documents regarding their divorce and custody agreement if it’s not sealed.”

Her face flamed and she wanted to dig a hole and hide in it.

“He did mention it to you, right?” Ben asked gently.

“He did, but I didn’t know that he’d spoken to you about it in detail.” He certainly hadn’t mentioned toherthat he’d spoken more specifically about it to his uncle. She continued to watch the birds wheel about in the sky over the water, diving for fish, struggling not to be pissed. Struggling to see this offer in the spirit it was being made. She and Miles would discuss the rest later when they were alone.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said, obviously understanding her discomfort. “Miles only shared enough to give me background. An idea of what was happening and what we might do to help.”

She blew out a breath. “If she would just stop, I could let it go. Probably. But I never know when she’s going to pop up to wreak havoc. And I don’t know why she seems to want to punish me. I’ve asked and she doesn’t explain. That interview got her worked up but I’m unsure how to deal with it, or even if I should. I don’t want to make it worse. I just want her to leave me alone. And leave my dad alone.”

“I know that video she posted must have been upsetting, but it only has a handful of views,” Ben said softly. “Anything we find out, as long as it’s not a crime she’s covering up, will be confidential. I wouldn’t even tell Miles what I found unless you gave permission.”

Nausea coated her like a cold sweat. “Video?” What the fuck?

“You didn’t know. I thought…I’m sorry.”

“I blocked her number after a string of calls and voicemails. I’ve been trying not to think about her.” Harlow pulled her phone out, but Ben put a staying hand on hers.

“You don’t need to look at it. I already told Miles what was said, but it’s nothing for you to be alarmed about. She’s a middle-aged woman who’s railing against the modern world and using you as her cudgel. No one is going to care unless for some reason it gets more notice. If we make a fuss, that gets more notice. Let it die by giving it the attention it deserves. None.”

No wonder Xander seemed to be such a great person. His dads had given her nothing but kindness and a solid strength.

Still, she was mortified that anyone else knew about this ugly chapter. “This is about me because of that interview?”

“I’ll tell you all about it if you promise not to look. I’ll be honest and won’t leave anything out. But you don’t need to hear your own mother talk about you that way,” Ben said.

“I know it’s such a cliché. Boo hoo my mom is terrible. Meanwhile I have an aunt who raised me and is very much my mother figure. And my dad is great and supportive. I went to great schools and live in his house rent free when I’m in Southern California. It’s stupid to be upset over this.” Her voice wavered a little and she hated that weakness.

He waved a hand. “My father stopped speaking to me when he found out I was in a relationship with Todd as well as Erin. He refused to go to any of the parties when Erin was pregnant with Xander. He’s nevermetXander. Didn’t go to his high school graduation. Never shared cake with his grandson at a birthday party. He’s never stayed up late with me to put together toys on Christmas Eve. We can’t choose our parents. And just because we have a life full of others whodolove us and accept us doesn’t mean it isn’t painful when our mom or dad are failures at parenting and reject us.”

“I’m so sorry.” And she was. Though she wasn’t a parent herself, the way some parents just threw their kids out like garbage infuriated her. It put her own situation into perspective.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,” Ben said. “My mom is great and has been. They divorced over it nearly twenty years ago. I hated that part because it was about me. When I told her that, she said she tolerated it for so much longer than she should have. Hoping he’d see what he’d done and want to fix it. She asked me what I would do, in her place, if Todd or Erin rejected Xander the way my father had done with me. I love them. Todd and Erin, I mean.” He grinned a moment and it lightened her heart. “We have a good life. A close, loving family. It’s a blessing. But I’m Xander’s dad first. Always. And yes, I would leave either or both if it meant protecting my child.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes.

“I’m telling you all this for a few reasons. Your dad and your aunt love you and you know that. You know it’s a gift to have such support. But you should apply that standard to your bio mom. You may not know her reasons, if she’s got any, but that still doesn’t make you responsible for how a grown person acts. The weight of this is not yours to carry, sweetheart. No matter what she said on her little video, it doesn’t matter to anyone who cares about you.”

Not trusting herself to speak without crying, she blinked tears back and turned, resolutely looking at the birds again while she found her self control.

“Tell me,” she said at last.

Miles realized Harlow wasn’t anywhere he could see inside the restaurant. There were plenty of people around and any of them could be with her somewhere else. He wasn’t worried. They’d all be fine with her and if anything came up, someone would come to him about it.

So it wasn’t worry that had him getting up to cruise around the place. But a need to connect with her.

“She’s outside with Ben,” Erin told him as she must have guessed why he was looking around.

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