Page 24 of Broken Like This by Bethany

I love him. So, I got tacos. It’s always been our thing. Tacos when we’re having a crappy day. He looked awful earlier, and now that I’m calmer, I want to smother him with love. Love and tacos.

I swing open the door to his suite, hoping that no one else is around.

“Hey, Ace. You here? I come bearing tacos!”

Aaron walks into the room, surprised. Then he frowns.

“What are you doing here?”

Okay, not the reaction I was expecting.

“I left my group project early and went to get us some—”

“Why?” He looks angry as he crosses his arms over his chest. And I’m really confused, because he looked sad earlier when I wouldn’t talk to him. “You shouldn’t be ditching out on your group project for me. I’m not some basket case who can’t survive without his girlfriend.”

I’m sure hurt flashes across my face. That sure as hell didn’t feel good. And he’s pissing me off now.

“You don’t have to be a jerk! Jeez. You’re my person, and you’re having a shitty day. My part is done. They don’t need me. Then I thought of you and how you always bring me tacos when I’m having a bad day.” Tears threaten and my voice thickens with emotion. I push down the tears and look at him. “I went and got tacos for you. You said you wanted me to come over tonight. I wanted that, too, but if you want me to go—”

He steps forward. His whole demeanor is different now. “No. Please don’t go. Stay with me. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you skipping school stuff for me. You know what you’re doing and you should be focused on that. And I don’t… I’m not that pitiful. I’m sorry I overreacted. I want you here. And the tacos are the icing on the cake.” He leans down and kisses me softly. “I’m sorry,” he whispers against my lips. “I love you.”

I loop my arms around his neck. “I love you, too. Where’s everyone else?”

“Movie night in your room. We’ve got the place to ourselves.”

I nod slightly as I pull away. “Perfect. I just uh—I need to use the bathroom quick. Grab the tacos, and I’ll meet you on the couch.”

He smiles and kisses my cheek. “Don’t take too long.”

I watch him walk toward the couch with the tacos, then I turn toward the bathroom, finally dropping the smile from my face.

As soon as I’m in the bathroom with the door shut, the emotion I’ve been holding in comes pouring out. I’m thankful the light automatically turns the fan on so he won’t hear me crying. After this morning, I don’t feel comfortable crying in front of him.

I never thought I’d feel this way with him.

Tears come harder and faster than I thought they would. I don’t know how I’m going to go back out there. I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but when I stand in front of the sink to splash cool water on my face, I catch my reflection. My eyes look hollow. My face is pale minus all the puffy red spots. I look burned out and drained. I start sobbing all over again.

I shouldn’t look this way. I shouldn’tfeelthis way. He should never make me feel like this. Our relationship shouldn’t be like this. It’s starting to scare me, honestly. I want to be here for him. I want us to be in this together, but right now, it doesn’t feel like we are. I’d give anything to change that, to help him, to fix this.

But that’s the worst part, it doesn’t matter what I do. Nothing helps. I have no idea how to fix this, fixus.

Aaron

I finally have a movie picked out. The tacos smell amazing.

God, I was such an ass to her when she showed up.

But I meant it. I don’t want her to choose me over school. I also don’t want to be pitied. But I should’ve let her explain first. I’ve got to work on not going into raging jackass mode first thing, especially with her.

Speaking of which, I glance at my phone and realize she’s been in the bathroom for at least ten minutes. My stomach twists. That’s not good. I shove off the couch and go to the door. I knock lightly but there’s no answer. Panic surges through me, and I thank every god I can think of when I turn the handle and it’s unlocked. I swing the door open and see her standing there, arms wrapped around herself. I try to figure out what’s happening.

“Rae?” It’s not until I say her name that I realize she’s crying. As she spins to face me, all I see are her shimmering golden eyes circled by red puffy skin. My heart shreds. She’s crying because of me. And worse yet, she’s hiding it.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly swiping at her tears.

I wrap my arms around her and she sniffles against my chest. “Don’t apologize. I hate myself for making you cry. I never want you to cry. And I hate knowing I’m the reason.” I softly kiss her head.She deserves better than this. Better than who I’ve been lately.“I hate that you hid it from me. I’m supposed to be your safe place.”And I made her feel like shit for crying this morning. Even though that’s who she is. She’s always a ball of wild emotions. It’s something I love about her.

“Rae,” I whisper. She steps back slightly and looks at me, but I keep my arms around her. “I’m sorry for this morning. It’s okay that you cry. I love that you’re open with those emotions and that you wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s part of what makes you who you are. Please don’t hide that. Please don’t hide it from me because I said something stupid this morning.”

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