Page 135 of Broken Like This by Bethany

“Hey, you okay?”

She takes a sip of her drink and looks over at Sarah and Amanda, laughing and talking. “Hyla’s coming,” she says quietly into her cup.

“Oh, shit, Macks.” She maintains a stiff upper lip as I gently rub my hand over her shoulders. “You can talk to me about it, you know.”

“What’s there to talk about?” she asks bitterly. Bitter sounds wrong on Mackie. She’s always calm, even-tempered, sure of herself. Focused, but doesn’t take herself too seriously. Honestly, I think she’s always been the most together of all of us. Her emotions rarely flare, but even if they do, she’s still in control. This is a very different Mackie.

“You can talk about how you feel. I spent too long thinking the pain I was feeling wasn’t worth talking about. It doesn’t matter the reason. If it’s hurting you, it’s worth talking about.”

She looks at me as tears prickle in her eyes. “I don’t know how you and Rae do it. Doesn’t seeing each other every day kill you? Hyla isn’t going to be here with her boyfriend, but knowing what she did to me, how she hurt me, how she didn’t choose me… I don’t know how to be around her. And I don’t trust myself. All it will take is one look from her and we’ll be naked upstairs. She undoes me. And she doesn’t take responsibility for that, so I’ll be the one left picking up the pieces.”

“I think you know it sure as hell hasn’t been easy for Rae and me. We’ve pushed each other away, tried to hurt each other, fought, she kissed someone else, I slept with someone else. And that’s just what all of you have seen. It guts me sometimes, trying to be friends with her, being around her. But I can’t not. We’re pulled toward each other. But Rae and I aren’t you and Hyla. It’s okay to stay away from her. It’s okay to ask us to run interference. It’s okay to tell her she needs to respect your boundaries. It’s also okay to tell her the truth, what you told me. In fact, I think it’s more than okay. I think it’s important for her to hear. I’ve learned a lot about taking responsibility for my actionsandmaking it clear when other people aren’t giving me that in return. It’s not easy, and I’m sure as hell not nailing it, but I’m working on it.”

Mackie quickly swipes the sleeve of her sweatshirt over her cheeks. “I’m proud of you, Aaron. You’ve grown a lot in the past few months. I know this year has been shit for most of us, but I think it’s been the hardest on you. Even if it beat you up for a while, you didn’t let it break you. I hope you’re proud of that, too.”

I stare at her for a minute before looking down. I gently squeeze her hand. “You guys got me through it. Different people at different times. And that’s the other thing… what Hyla’s doing to you… it’s not like what happened with Rae and me. We broke our relationship, we hurt each other. Of course you’re not perfect, Macks, but what you’re going through is mostly because of the choices Hyla made. Find your strength. I know it isn’t easy, but it’s important. It’s important to value yourself and your needs. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or how much they love you, if they aren’t valuing you, it’s not a healthy situation. Take care of yourself. And every single one of us is here if you need us.”

“Thanks, A.”

I give her a little wink and kiss her cheek before pushing out of the chair and heading for the rowdiest part of the party and dancing with Sarah and Trevor.

I watch as Rae gives Jamie a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek as he leaves. The little idiot blushes.

Rae turns and walks back toward the fire, swaying her hips the whole way. Tucked in an oversized Ida Warriors hoodie with her hair in a messy bun, she looks like the goddess of summer nights and bonfires.

My gaze floats to Mackie. Hyla is trying to talk to her. Mackie has successfully avoided her for most of the night. I’m about to push out of my chair when Miles walks over and slings his arm around Mackie’s shoulders. He inserts himself into the conversation and physically positions himself between the two. Hyla tries to move closer, but Miles leans in and forcefully whispers something to her. She blinks and steps back. Then I hear a tearful, “I’m sorry.” She turns and walks away. Trevor pulls her into his arms. He and Miles exchange a glance of respect. They’re all friends, but everyone, even Trevor—probably especially Trevor—knows what Hyla did. He might be on her team, but that doesn’t mean he likes how she handled it.

With a loud grunt, Rae flops into the chair next to me, giggling. I turn and lock my eyes on her. Her cheeks are flushed. Her eyes are hazy. She’s tipsy for sure. That’s pretty rare for her these days. After the tequila incident at the beginning of college, she hasn’t been drinking much.

“Hey, Ace,” she purrs.

Oh, fuck. Is the universe testing me tonight?

Then she frowns.

“Shit,” she mutters. “I didn’t mean to call you that.”

“Why?” I ask.

Her eyes go wide like she didn’t realize she said that out loud. God, she’s cute when she’s like this.

“I—uh—nothing,” she stammers. Then she hops up from her chair. She stumbles over her own feet—she’s never been particularly graceful. I’ve never understood how someone who bumps into a chair that’s been in the same place for seven years can be so good at sneaking up on people when we play Spy.

I launch out of my chair and wrap my arms around her waist, steadying her.

She looks up, eyes settling on mine for a long beat. “Thanks,” she whispers, not breaking her gaze.

I lean in, much like she did the night she took me back to the dorms, drunk off my ass after that frat party, and say, “How about I walk you home?”

Her eyes widen. “Uh—yeah. Okay.”

I wrap my arm around her waist, then lock eyes with Sarah, who nods at me. Rae loops her arm around my low back and grins up at me.

We get back to her place, and I carefully help her through the window. Thankfully, she’s not drunk or it would be a complete mess.

She pulls her sweatshirt over her head. Her T-shirt pulls up slightly, giving me a glimpse of her stomach, the edges of which pop with new definition. I haven’t seen herlike thatsince she started kickboxing.

“Eyes up here, Ace.” She smirks at me.

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