“I don’t want to hurt you. I want us to talk—”
“About what? What is there to talk about? You love me, but you don’t want me.”
“I do want you—”
“Not enough.”And up go the walls. Fuck.
I look in her eyes, seeing nothing but ice and tears she’s trying to hold back. God damn it. I’m pissed off. At me. At her for thinking I’d hurt her like this. I know I took it too far, too fast, but…
Shaking my head, I step toward her. “Would you listen?”
She practically rolls her eyes, then turns and starts up the hill.
Well, fuck that.
I grab her hand. “I’m not saying I don’t want you. I’m saying I shouldn’t have—”
“You’re right, you shouldn’t have, but youdid. You shouldn’t have told me you loved me, kissed me, done what you did without knowing for sure! You took me and my feelings and put them in the middle. You didn’t think about me for a second! I was an afterthought to you or your emotions or your… hormones. Oh my god…”
“Please, Beautiful—”
“Don’t you dare!” Her eyes turn from icy and hurt to pure fire. “What do you even want, Aaron?”
“You,” I whisper, but she doesn’t hear it. She’s walking away, hauling ass up the trail back toward the driveway.
Why the fuck am I standing here?
I run after her. I can’t lose her because of this.
“Rae, wait!”
She walks faster.
Why does she always have those walls ready to go up? Why doesn’t she trust me? That’s a sobering thought. I slow down as that hits me.Maybe this was a mistake. What if I lose her because of this? What if these lines were never meant to be crossed?
I pick up my pace again. I can’t let her leave like this.
When we get to the end of the trail, which comes out right by the shed, I’m right behind her. I grab her arm and spin her around.
Everyone else is over near the cars, drinking hot cocoa from styrofoam cups.
“What do you want?” she says again.
Anger and hurt coursing through me, words fly out of my mouth before I realize what they are. “I don’t know!”Nope. Those were the wrong words.And I said them way too loudly, and everyone turns to look at us.Great, an audience.
She shoves her hand into my chest. “How could you do this, Aaron? How could you kiss me like that, try to be with me like that if you weren’t sure?!” Tears flood her eyes.
I have to fix this.
“Rae,” my hand comes up to her cheek and her eyes close. “I am su—” Her eyes fly open, and she slaps my hand away.
I’m aware that the four of them are surrounding us now, watching what’s happening. Sarah looks ready to kill. Joel’s jaw is set, his eyes narrowed on me. Mackie and Miles both look ready to intervene at a moment’s notice.
Could this get any worse?Actually, I probably shouldn’t ask that question. A few hours ago, I thought we were going to be together. Now?
Her lip trembles as she stares at me. “How could you do this to me? You’re my person.” Tears roll down her cheeks, and my heart shatters. How could she think I’d do this to her?
“I’m not—” But I’m cut off by Joel.