Page 83 of Falling Like This

“I don’t know. Like I said, I’ve been worried about you. I want you to be… okay. And I think you’d have gotten through this whether you had me or not.”

“You have no idea how wrong you are about that. Like always, you’ve been my rock. Every hard thing in my life, you always show up for me in the biggest and smallest ways. It means everything to me. Pretty sure I’d fall apart without you.”

He laughs. “Well, for what it’s worth… I feel the same way. Not sure my heart would be whole without you in my life.”

“Oh boy, I think we’re getting sappy now. And I stopped crying for the night already.”

“I just don’t ever want to leave it unsaid… what you mean to me. You’re everything.”

I have to stop myself from gasping at the ease with which he said that. Finally, I say, “You’re everything to me, too. Goodnight, Ace.”

“Night, Beautiful.”

I hang up and set my phone down on the chest under the window.

My heart feels full and happy. My chest feels lighter. My head feels clearer.

After everything that happened today, I thought I’d fall asleep fast, but instead, I end up fidgeting like crazy, suddenly filled with energy.

It’s almost midnight, and I finished the book I had to read for English, wrote an essay, and finished an annoyinglife skillsassignment. I’m about to do some yoga to see if I can calm myself down when my phone rings.

I’m expecting it to be Aaron, but it’s Miles.

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“Nope, my energy is wild right now. I guess finally feeling human again will do that.”

“Wanna go for a drive?”

I smile wide. This has become a tradition for Miles and me. Whenever we’re bored on the weekend or can’t sleep at night, we go for a drive out on the back roads. He usually drives since he’s Mr. Always-in-control. I don’t mind. We listen to music, talk, and laugh. It’s our special thing and I love it.

“Hell yes. I’ll meet you on the corner in five.”

“Perfect. And remember, be quiet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Bye.”

I hang up and throw on some sweats. Then I pick up my phone and text my mom so she knows where I’ll be.

Me: Going out for a drive with Miles. Text you when I’m home.

The funny thing is that Miles thinks his mother doesn’t know we do this.

Once we turned seventeen, our parents eased up on some of the rules, including curfew as long as we’re with each other and they know where we are. So, if we go to each other’s houses late at night or something, we text them and let them know where we’re going.

The first night we went out for a drive, he didn’t tell his mom and I didn’t tell mine, though she knew anyway. And of course, Miles’s mom knew as well because Katie knowseverything. But she never called him on it, which is unlike her, so he still doesn’t know she knows when we do this. He thinks she believes him that he’s ‘hanging out’ at my house at one in the morning.

Miles is smart, but when it comes to his mom, he sometimes can’t see the forest for the trees.

I head downstairs, out the back door, down the driveway, and to the corner where Miles is waiting in his tan Honda Accord. I climb into the passenger seat and he immediately pulls me into his arms. “I’m proud of you, kid.”

I pull back and smile at him. “Thanks. I feel so much better not holding it in anymore. I didn’t realize keeping it inside was eating away at me.”

He puts the car in drive and hands me his phone to choose some music. “It makes sense, but in the thick of it, that’s not easy to see.”

I scroll through his phone, even though I know I’ll end up choosing his driving mix playlist that we both regularly add songs to. It’s about fifty percent classic rock and fifty percent random songs that are fun to jam out to in the car. “So, why were you up?”

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