Page 32 of Falling Like This

Damn it. Why does he have to be the sweetest, most caring person I know?

“Hey, you looked like you were having fun with Mackie. I can take her home,” Aaron says, purposely addressing Sarah and not me.

Because he knows something is wrong.

I want to talk to him about this, but I have no idea what to say.

I love you so much, but I’m fucked up emotionally and I can’t handle touching you or talking to you because it makes my stomach and my heart hurt.

I think I’m going to have to do or say something, though, because I can’t keep this up.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Sarah says.

She and Aaron stare at each other for a moment, then Aaron’s gaze flits to me.

He’s not going to let this go.

“It’s fine, Sarah. Go back and have fun.”

She turns to me and pulls me into her arms. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I guess I need to talk to him anyway,” I whisper. “I’ll see you at home later, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

She lets go of me and nods at Aaron.

The walk to his truck is quiet, but his mind is going a million miles a second. I can feel it.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He looks at me, lips pulling into a flat line. “I’m all right.”

I nod once as he opens the door for me. He offers his hand, but I climb in on my own. I’m afraid of what will happen if I touch him.

The ride back to my house is spent in ear-piercing silence.

I feel like I’m going to explode.

When we get to my house, Aaron pulls his truck around back. I don’t know why I thought he’d drop me off and leave. That’s not how we are.

He walks me up to my window as I stare off into the distance.

As I slide the window open, I turn to face him. “Thanks for driving me home.”

“No problem. What do you want to do now? I can order takeout. Or we can—”

“Aaron, stop.” My stomach fills with nausea. I don’t want to do this, but I have to.

“I know you’re hurting. I don’t want you to be alone.”

I step back as much as I can, my butt hitting the siding of the house. “I appreciate that, but I need space.”

“You can’t keep shutting us all out, Rae. You—”

“Not from everyone.” My voice is frantic. Saying these words is going to destroy me. “I need space from you. From us. I…”

He takes a step back, eyes filled with hurt. Tears threaten, but I push them down. I have to say this.

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