Page 62 of Wandering Souls

Putting everything on a tray, she added the sugar bowl and carried it out to Penny, who sat in one of the wicker chairs to wait, watching the rain fall in sheets. Her fingers twisted together in her lap and her right leg bounced with nerves. At least they had something in common.

“Wasn’t sure how you took your tea,” Abi explained, setting the tray on the table between them. “Would you rather go inside?”

“The rain is beautiful. This will be fine. Thank you.”

Abi added a teaspoon of sugar to her mug and topped it up with milk, leaving the tea bag to brew longer. She noted Penny did the same.

“I would understand if you’re angry at me, Abigail. I still haven’t forgiven myself.”

Did she expect Abi to forgive her? “How did I end up with Margery?”

A soft smile lit Penny’s face. “We worked together, at Doctors Without Borders. She was the first person who befriended me when I started, and when I found out I was pregnant, she gave me the kind of support every woman should have.” Penny reached across and touched Abi’s arm. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Abi flinched. Penny pulled her hand back, her eyes darting away. Regret flowed through Abi but it had been pure reflex. “Sorry. Don’t take that personally.”

“It’s okay.”

“She was a wonderful mum.”

Penny’s eyes smiled. She sipped her tea. “I bet she was. She tried to convince me to keep you, that we would be safe in Switzerland. There’s no way of knowing if she was right, but I am thankful every day that she agreed to raise you. For what it’s worth, I kept track of you as best I could.”

“But never made contact. Why?”

Tears gathered, giving Abi a glimpse of the pain and guilt Penny harbored. “Oh, sweetheart.” She shook her head and the tears fell. “I couldn’t put you in danger. My father was...” She took a deep breath. “Despicable. And my brothers? Just a few months ago one of them tried to kill me.”

Shocked, Abi couldn’t believe her ears. Damien had said nothing of it. “Your brother?”

“He wasn’t satisfied with putting a price on your sister’s head, so he came after me. It’s all quite dreadful, but oddly enough, good came of it. Your father came to my rescue, although he almost lost his life in doing so. Learning that he and Stevie were alive gave me the courage to tell them about you.”

Seeing Penny’s tears brought out her own. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of the woman who’d given her away, but she couldn’t stop them. It didn’t feel right to let anyone see the depth of the hurt, let alone the person who caused it, but if she didn’t, how would Penny understand?

Penny’s hand touched hers again and she blinked to find Penny kneeling before her. “I’m so very sorry.”

Abi allowed her to hold her hands. Words jammed in her throat, jumbling with the emotions she’d held onto for so long. Worse still, she felt as though she betrayed Margery, who hadn’t just raised her as if Abi was her daughter, but had never hidden the truth from her. She told Abi of Penny’s bravery and courage, of her compassion and empathy.

“I don’t expect anything from you, Abigail. There’s nothing I can do to make up for what’s done.” She sighed. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come.”

When Penny stood, Abi gripped her hand. “Stay. Please.”

“Here.” From her pocket, Penny produced a pack of tissues. She held one out to Abi and used another to daub at her own eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Abi dried her cheeks. “It’s all confusing. For most of my childhood, I was happy. I missed having a father, but I didn’t cry over it. I knew I had a sister out there, but I didn’t know how to reach her. You’re right, I was angry at you.”

There, she said it.

“You left me. You gave me to someone else. Maybe if Margery hadn’t told me the truth from the beginning, I might have felt differently.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

For so many years, she’d debated whether she had been better off not knowing. There were times when she was glad she knew, when she’d dreamed about Damien’s heroics and meeting her sister, but there were times when she’d wished Margery had let her believe she was a normal kid from a single parent family like most of the others she went to school with. That she really was the flesh and blood of Margery Winter, doctor extraordinaire.

“Would you tell me about her?” Penny asked softly. “About Margery?”

Thinking about her made Abi smile. “She showed me the world, taught me languages. Said I could be anything I wanted to be. She took me to the hospital, showed me what she did, how she saved people.”

Penny smiled fondly. “She was a great doctor.”

“She had a very generous heart and an adventurous soul. She was always by my side. I tried to do the same when she got sick, but she wouldn’t let me take time off school.” Guilt stirred in Abi’s heart. “I was all she had but I’d go off every morning as if nothing was wrong. My heart would be in my mouth when I came home in the afternoons, not knowing what to expect when I opened the door.”

Penny squeezed her hand. “It’s hard watching someone you love suffer.”

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