Page 112 of Wandering Souls

His words brought reality crashing down around her. “Yes.”

“Because they won’t let you fly.” The sharp tone in his voice rang an alarm bell.

“Well, they didn’t kick me out,” she said, hearing the defensive note in her voice and knowing it wasn’t right. Abi took a deep breath to calm herself. “But yes, they clipped my wings. Offered to retrain me and find another position for me.”

“But that’s the only reason you came back, isn’t it? Because they won’t let you fly.”

Abi stood very still as her heart pounded in her chest. Was he right? Was Wills Crossing merely the back-up plan if things didn’t work out like she’d hoped? She didn’t want to believe it but if she distilled the last twenty-four hours down to the hard facts, that was exactly how it looked, and it made it hard to breathe.

If Damien hadn’t been there with her, would she have made the same decision? She knew for certain Wills Crossing felt like home, that the connections she’d developed in the months prior to Christmas were genuine and deep. Whether she’d stayed in the armed forces or not, she knew without a doubt she would have come back.

Determination welled up inside her. She had to make him see that sometimes, the path chosen wasn’t always the right one. Plan B or not, coming back to the Crossing wasn’t second prize, it was where she was meant to be.

It was where she wanted to be.

~

Ray hated being thehard-ass, and watching her struggle with the truth ate at him, but he had to know. She’d already broken his heart once. Allowing her to trample on it again would make him a chump. Still, the discomfort in his gut seeing her grapple with her emotions weighed as heavy as lead.

The fatigue from the last fourteen hours made every muscle in his body ache. His hands shook from having held the hose for so long. The soles of his feet sizzled after being on the hot ground all day. The dehydration from sweating profusely under the heavy uniform in the furnace-like conditions had started a headache. And the graze on his cheek stung like crazy. It served him right for not ducking fast enough.

“This isn’t the consolation prize, Ray,” she whispered. The quiet night amplified the sound. “It is a choice. My choice.”

“Do you want to be here as much as at the base, or in a warzone?”

As she considered his question, her face lifted into a gorgeous smile. “More so.”

“Explain it to me.”

Maybe he was being unfair, but he needed to know that her choice to return wasn’t driven by a closed door, or an option she didn’t like. Selfish as it was, he wanted to believe she chose to be here, chose to be with him.

Abi’s fidgeting settled and calmness overtook her. He sensed a serenity within her. It was more profound than the level of contentedness he saw in her at Christmas. This burrowed into her core and filled him with confidence.

“Living on base had its moments, and the routine of Army life was comforting. I thought going back would be the answer, but it wasn’t.” She took a tiny step closer. “My family aren’t there. You weren’t there. Even before the decision this morning, I’d started to question why I’d gone back.”

Relief flowed through him, but she wasn’t finished.

“I missed you and when I thought you could be hurt by the fire...” she shook her head, edging closer again. Flattening her palm to his chest, her eyes pleaded with him to understand. “You’ve been my champion and I let you down. You chased down a plane to tell me how much you loved me. If ever there was a big, flashing neon sign to take notice of, that was it. I didn’t see it for what it was. Hearing you profess your love for me was the most beautiful moment of my life, and I took it for granted.”

Ray stared down at her hand on his chest. Her touch branded him through the cotton of his shirt, confirming everything he’d admitted a week ago. He was hers. Plain and simple. His heart wanted no one else. His soul craved her. He wanted nothing more than a future with her.

“I love you, Ray. You’ve been my friend, my confidant, my lover. Please tell me I haven’t completely blown it?”

“What if I said you had?”

Her eyes widened and the pressure of her hand eased. “Then you’d have to get used to me being around anyway. I’m not going anywhere.”

“What if I said you haven’t blown it?”

Optimism flashed in her eyes and she moved to stand against him, her hand trapped between their connected bodies. “Then I will spend however long it takes making it up to you.”

Unable to hold back any longer, Ray curled a hand around the back of her neck, threading his fingers into her silken hair and reveling at the feel of her on his skin. His fatigue subsided at the thought of her hands on him. A week had never felt so long.

“And you’re definitely staying?”

Her tiny head nod buoyed him. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere, unless it’s with you.”

Ray leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. Tugging her hand out from between their bodies, Abi looped her arms around his neck and plastered herself against him. Every fiber of his being tuned in to her, wanting to connect with her.

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