Page 97 of No More Heartbreakers

I looked over at his handsome face, lit by the streetlamps and the glow from the nearby restaurants and bars. “Ireallydidn’t expect that tonight.”

He gave me a sneaky grin. “That’s why they call it a surprise. I know I’ve never been all that great at the romance thing, but I’m trying to get better. I actually read about this one in a magazine, and—”

His grin dropped. “You didn’t like it?”

“It’s just that it was really,reallya surprise, because I thought we were coming here to get closure. Because we’d broken up. And we were going to… you know…”

Oh God. His face. This was horrible. “... we were going to part as... friends.”

“Friends,” he echoed in a flat tone.

“Hale… we’ve been apart for months now. Because of a breakyouwanted.”

“This is meendingthe break.”

“But we haven’t even discussed marriage—ever. Why did you think we should get engagednow?”

“Well… because I thought the issue was that you wanted to keep your career and you didn’t think you could do that and still be with me because of my job.”

He shifted in his seat to face me more directly, reaching for my cold hand and squeezing it.

“And I finallygot it—I’d thought giving you a sort of ultimatum with the break would make you see that you didn’t really want a TV career that much—but it backfired. I see where I was wrong now. I was treating your job like it was a hobby or something that you were going to get over instead of realizing it was a part of you. When I really understood that, I came up with a solution. I was planning to take you from here to see a house I found for us in Greensboro. It’s halfway between Peachtree Valley and Madison—halfway between your job and my family’s land. I realized I don’t really have toliveon the ranch, so long as I’m fairly close. I thought it was a good plan, so, you know, we could both do what we love and still be with the person we… love.”

His eyes took on a stricken expression as he shook his head slowly side to side. “You don’t love me, do you?”

I nodded. “I do. But not in the way I should. Do you loveme, Hale? Really love me? Let me ask you something—how have you been coping these past few months while we haven’t been together?”

He shifted again in the seat and removed his hand from mine, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the dashboard.

“I’ve been better, but I was doing okay, I guess.”

“Right. So was I. And that’s what worries me. I think if you’re meant to be with someone, if it’s real till-death-do-you-part love, you wouldn’t be doing okay when you’re separated. I think just the idea of not spending the rest of your life with them should tear you apart, make you sick, like you can’t imagine it being any other way. Can you honestly tell me that’s how it is for you?”

“Well, I have missed you. You’re beautiful and fun and smart. And I liked what we had. We got along really great, we never fought. Things were good. I don’t necessarily think there’s more to it than that. I’m not sure what else a person could want. It’s what I want.”

“I think you do want more than that. I think youknowthere’s more—that’s why you suggested the break in the first place,” I argued.

“You’re right. We did get along great, and we never fought,” I said. “Things between usweregood. But I’ve been learning lately that maybe that’s not all there is. Maybe the absence of any sort of conflict, being with someone who never makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, maybe that’s not the way love is supposed to be. It’s safe andgood, but I think there is something more—something better than good—for both of us.”

Hale’s expression took on a new cast, something less hurt and more angry. “This is about him, isn’t it? The sports guy, Aric.”

Courage, Heidi.I’d already found out where trying to take the easy road would get me.

If I’d been brave enough to be more up-front with Hale the other night at my parents’ house about the changes I’d been going through, we wouldn’t be here right now, both embarrassed and hurting.

“Not entirely,” I said. “But yes, that’s part of it—I do have feelings for him. It really has more to do with me, though. I’m coming to terms with some things that happened in my past, things I’ve been running from that I’ve never discussed with you, unfortunately. It wasn’t fair to you, and I wish I’d been more of a grown-up and better able to explain to you where I was coming from all along. Maybe then you wouldn’t have wasted so much time on me.”

I pulled the gorgeous ring from my finger and pressed it into Hale’s hand, then wrapped my fingers around his.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, staring at our hands. “I never meant to lead you on, and I want you to know that in many ways you saved me. You were there for me when I really needed someone, and you helped me to heal from the worst damage of my life. I’ll always be grateful to you, and even if you hate me now, I’ll always love you for that.”

The look on his face was unbearable. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away, turning on the ignition.

“I’ll take you home.”

We drove in excruciating silence, the hour on the road feeling more like four. I stared out the window, wishing desperately that I’d allowed Aric to stay in town and wait for me.

Hale was probably wishing he could throw me from the moving car.

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