Page 78 of No More Heartbreakers

“Okay, so if Ihappento mention my insomnia in front of Phillip, you’ll back me up, right?” She cringed at her own words.

“You have insomnia? Since when?”

“High school. As far as the church knows. They’re asking me to head up the weekly Ladies’ Prayer Breakfast. I’m telling them I haven’t been sleeping and can’t commit to early mornings.”

“Why don’t you just tell them you’re not interested, that it’s not your thing? I mean, you do work full-time. You have a built-in excuse.”

“You don’t understand—these people are relentless. They’re constantly recruiting volunteers. And being Phil’s wife, I’m apparently at the top of their list foreverything. It’s like they want me to prove I’mon board. I wish there was something I could do for them that didn’t involve music. Or children. Or early mornings.”

“Maybe you could do the landscaping?” I giggled.

Jane Elaine pointed a threatening finger at me.

“Do. Not. Say that within earshot of anyone from the church,” she hissed. “I’ll find myself with a rake and shovel in my hands faster than you can say ‘Hallelujah.’”

I laughed and grabbed a beer from the fridge before joining the rest of my family in the den.

My three huge brothers were exactly where I knew they’d be, one stretched out covering the entire sofa and the other two sprawled on the floor.

Unless they were at football practice, at a game, or at the table, Gordy Tee, and Benji seemed physically incapable of being vertical these days.

Daddy was in his recliner, dangling his latest acquisition, a gelatinous black and tan creation. He jumped up when he saw me and brought it over for my admiration.

“Hi Jellybean. Check it out—the Zoom Baby Brush Hog—got a five star rating online.”

“Look out catfish,” I joked.

Daddy reached me and kissed my cheek. “Glad you could make it tonight, sweetheart. Where’s Aric?”

“I don’t know. He should be here any minute I guess. Where’s Mom?”

“I think she’s checking her makeup or some such thing. Just a warning, she’s rehearsingThe Sound of Musicthis month,” he said.

From the floor, Tee added, “Hide before she recruits you into a rendition ofThe Lonely Goatherd.”

“Yodel-lady-yodel-lady-yodel-hoo,” Gordy sang, way off-key.

No drama club in that boy’s future. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about Aric having too good a time tonight and becoming attached to my family.

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Mom’s voice sang through the house. I rushed toward the front foyer, cutting her off before she got to the door.

She had on a nun’s habit, a costume from the play.

I hoped.

“Great dress, Sister. I’ll get the door. You should probably check on whatever’s in the oven—smells like it might be getting overdone.”

“Oh—the ribs! I hope they haven’t dried out. Thank you sweetheart—I’ll be right back.”

My mother speed-walked toward the kitchen, crossing herself and hummingClimb Every Mountain.

I opened the door, and there stood Aric in all his Norse-god glory, wearing jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt and a smile that belonged on a billboard in Times Square.

Inhale, exhale. It’s not that hard, Heidi. You see him every day.

“Hi. You found it. And you brought beer. And flowers.” I sounded asthmatic.

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