Page 77 of No More Heartbreakers

I spit and rinsed then put my toothbrush into its plastic cup a little too hard, knocking it over into the sink.

“Well, I guess since you’ve already accepted, it would be rude to cancel now. Mom’s probably been cooking since early this morning. Be there around kickoff time.”

His knowing chuckle burned me, but not as much as the image of Colleen wrapping herself around him, “scared” at the thriller movie or feeding him bites of cheesecake in a café after dinner.

“Fine. You talked me into it,” Aric said, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me for a minty kiss. “I’ll come over.”

“You think you’ve won—now. Wait till you meet my goofy brothers. Oh—and my sister and her husband will be there, too. And my mom.”

Images of my family kept coming like dominos falling. I could already imagine the “scenes” Mom would pull out of the trunk for Aric to practice with her.

“Why are you so spooked about this? Didn’t Hale ever go over to your family’s house?”

“Sure, but it was different.”

“Meaning what? You’re ashamed of me? He was good enough to present to your family, but I’m not?”

“Of course not. It’s just—our relationship was different. I’m afraid they’ll take one look at you and… they’llknowsomething.”

“They won’t suspect a thing. I’ll be a perfect gentleman—hands off all night.”

Honestly, it wasn’t him I was worried about. I was afraid of whatIlooked like when I looked at him.

Mara had been helpful at work, giving me a pinch or friendly clock on the head whenever I’d forget myself and stare at him like an underfed lioness stalking a chubby wildebeest.

She, of course, was in on our secret and positively ecstatic over it. “Someoneshould be sliding down that bannister. If it can’t be me, then I’m happy it’s you,” she’d said.

“Sliding down the? Oh my God, Mara. That is…” I had no words. “How’s your new guy working out? What was his name, Scott?”

“Well let’s see, he invited me over for a ‘special evening’ and suggested we watchSharknado.”

“That’s kind of funny,” I said, trying to be positive.

“It was hilarious—until he insisted it was based on actual events and proceeded to argue the point for an hour.”

She smacked her forehead with her palm.

“Oh, sorry.” I wanted to ask but wondered if I should. “Why do you put yourself through it, Mare? There are so many nice guys—”

“I don’t want a nice guy,” she snapped. “Nice guys always expect something from you.”

She shook her head and put up the stop-sign-hand before I could even start.

“Anyway, no more Scott. Even I can only tolerate so much stupid. I did meet someone cute last night though—his name is Bubba. Bubba. Can you believe it? Actually, I can’t believe I’ve been in the South for a whole year and this is my first Bubba. His real name, of course, is Robert. I really don’t get the Bubba thing.”

“I’m pretty sure it comes from a big brother or sister not being able to say ‘baby brother,’” I explained. “It comes out sounding like Bubba and then just sticks.”

“Oh—that’s kind of cute, I guess. Well, he has biceps to die for. We’re going mudding in his pickup truck tonight, whatever that is.”

“Mudding? Oh, I’m sure you’ll have agreattime.”

* * *

As I drove to my parents’ house that night, I realized I’d rather be going mudding, which demonstrated the extreme levels my dread had reached.

I made sure to arrive a few minutes before Aric so I could answer the door and introduce him to my family. I certainly didn’t want him to beat me there and announce himself as my “boyfriend” or something.

Thankfully, I did make it there before Aric, but not before Jane Elaine. She intercepted me at the door.

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