Aric said nothing, just waited, though his unrevealing expression had sharpened slightly.

“I told you my first… boyfriend, Jason, cheated on me, and that I hadn’t slept with anyone since him. But I didn’t want to go into detail because it’s so embarrassing—I worried you’d look at me differently if you knew everything. And I just wanted to forget about it. I thought I was over it, that I could move on… with you. But then I freaked out and ruined everything, and you deserve an explanation. That’s why I’m here.”

He nodded. “I’d really appreciate that.”

I took a breath and let go of the pillow, wrapping my arms around my middle to keep my trembling stomach from shaking me apart.

My jaw trembled as well, though the room temperature was warm.

“I met Jason at a party a week after I got to Brown. He was funny, charming,toogood-looking. He got me a drink, stayed close to me all night. My roommate and the other girls I came with were jealous because he was so hot and because he was a junior and obviously popular, like a big-man-on-campus type. Later on, I learned his dad was a diplomat and his family had a big apartment on Park Avenue and a flat in Paris.”

“I kind of hate this guy,” Aric said in a flat tone.

I nodded. “Join the club. Basically, I fell hard. Jason was so… I don’t know… so everything. I’d never met anyone with such…”

“Game?”

“Exactly. And, well, I told you I was a virgin.”

I blushed at the word and looked down at my lap again. The perky little Scotties pranced across the pillow, oblivious to the impending death of my dignity.

“Like I said, I had no intention of sleeping with him oranyonebefore I got married, but after two weeks of dating Jason, he told me he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. He persuaded me to sleep with him.”

I swallowed hard. “He saidit had never been like that for him before.”

Aric groaned and covered his eyes with one hand. “Shit.”

Shaking my head, I kept going. “I believed him. He was so sweet, he said all the right things. We were together every day, and it all seemed so… real. I was in heaven. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have met my soul mate so early in life.”

“And then the bastard cheated on you. How’d you find out? Did you catch him with someone else?”

“Worse.”

Aric appeared to think for a second. “I can’t come up with anything worse.”

I took a deep breath. “One of my friends from my hall ran into my room with her laptop open, screaming for me to look at something. I thought she was going to show me some stupid You Tube video or maybe a shirtless picture of Chris Hemsworth or something.”

Before continuing, I paused and swallowed, wondering if I’d actually be able to say the words.

“It was a webpage, a blog. Jason had made it. It had pictures of girls, arranged like in a yearbook, with names and captions and some stats under each photograph. It looked like he’d copied and pasted the photos from our freshman directory. There were so many pictures. So many. My roommate counted, and there were fifteen. My picture was there, of course.”

Aric’s expression turned stony as he waited for me to finish my pathetic tale.

“The title of the page was Freshmen I’ve… Fucked.”

Blinking back tears, I stopped to swallow a lump in my throat.

“I hate that word now. I don’t even like to say it. He didn’t spell it out at the top—maybe you can’t have a blog with that word in the title—it was F and then those star thingies, asterisks? And then the letters E-D. All the pictures were of girls who were freshmenthat year. Like, he’d already had sex with that many of us, and it was only October. So, he was, you know, sleeping with all or most of us during the same time frame. I don’t know if the other girls were one-night stands or if he was also making them feel all special and telling them they were the ‘love of his life.’ I didn’t know any of them, and I didn’t want to. At first I was in shock. I didn’t want to believe it meant what it had to mean. I kept looking at that word, looking at the pictures, willing it to be something other than what it was. Then I looked at the captions and numbers. He’d rated us, described our, um, assets and flaws. I guess as a public service to anyone who might have been interested in picking through his leftovers. Apparently I have a ‘nice ass’ but only ‘so-so tits.’”

Shaking his head, Aric exhaled harshly.

I tried to evaluate his expression. Did he pity me? Was he embarrassed for me? His face was serious, but otherwise unreadable.

Undoubtedly,he’dhad many an unwanted lovesick girl follow him around. Would he see me the same way Jason had—worthless, pathetic, disposable?

Finally he spoke, his tone dark. “That is so fu—I mean, so—unbelievably messed up.”

He leaned forward, grasping his knees. His gaze and voice sharpened. “What’s this guy’s last name?”