Page 32 of No More Heartbreakers

“You must have been terrified,” I said.

“I gotta admit—I was pretty scared. I sent up a prayer, you know? I’ve got a family, and I was thinking of them. I knew I had to calm down and stop my heart from pumping so fast because all I was doing was helping the venom get through my system faster. I got my venom extraction kit out of my turkey vest. I’d been carrying it around for ten years and never needed it. I had to read the directions first because I’d never even opened it up.”

Buddy explained how he’d used the kit to extract several cups of his own poisoned blood from the wound before limping to his truck and driving himself to the medical center.

“The doctor told me I got a pretty good dose of venom. He said I’d have died before I ever made it back to my truck if I hadn’t had that extraction kit.”

After we finished interviewing Buddy and shooting some video of him and his wound, I interviewed the doctor who had treated him, and Aric and I left the hospital.

“I have an idea for my stand-up—let’s stop along the road when we get to a stretch of woods.” I was almost giddy at the prospect of being able to get something other than a static shot of me just standing in front of the camera with a microphone.

Aric pulled over when we found a good spot. He lifted the gear out of the trunk and followed me to the tree line.

“So—are we looking for snakes? Cause after hearing Buddy’s story, I have to say I’m not too excited about that plan.”

“No.” I giggled. “We’ll only go a few steps into the woods.You’regoing to be the snake.”

“I think I’ve been insulted.” He laughed.

I demonstrated my meaning with my hand low to the ground, representing the camera. “You’ll move the camera through the grass and leaves here at snake level, see? And my legs will come into view. Then you’ll sort of strike out at my leg with the camera real quick, like it’s biting me, then pull back wide and pan up my legs to my face. I’ll just keep talking the whole time.”

“Oh, I get it—snake-eye view. Good idea. That’s going to look cool.”

“It might take us a few tries to get the timing right. I’ll count down and walk into frame. When I get to one, you can start your movement.”

Aric got onto his knees, checking around him first (for snakes, no doubt) and took a couple of practice runs with the camera before nodding to me and pointing.

“Ready? Three, two, one… hunter Buddy Harris didn’t find any turkeys this morning, but something found him—a six-foot rattlesnake.”

On cue, Aric moved the camera in a quick dive for my leg, then jerked it back and tilted the lens up toward my face.

I continued speaking, “Buddy said he’d never felt any pain like it in his life. He didn’t have to see the two fang-holes in his boots to know he’d been bitten, and to know it wasbad.”

We got a few more shots in the woods for cover video before returning to the car for the thirty-minute ride to Athens.

I felt like skipping, anticipating the fun of editing the stand-up in with Buddy’s sound bites. And this story would go right on my escape tape.

Aric glanced over at me after fastening his seatbelt and starting the car. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Like what?”

“So happy. You can’t stop smiling. You really love the job, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, when it’s like this. It’s fun to do it right, you know? To do somethinggood. Viewers might actually learn something helpful from this story, and we get to do it in a creative, interesting way. I wish it was like this all the time.”

Aric checked his mirrors and pulled out onto the highway. “It will be when you make it to a big market. Which I have absolutely no doubt you’ll do.”

Feeling myself flush with pleasure at his remark, I blinked and looked at him. “Thanks. You too. I mean, you’re already too good to be here. Why did you even take this job? It’s your second one, right?”

“Right. Well, I was just a sports reporter in Mankato, and the sports director and weekend sports anchor had been there forever. They were from the area and had no intention of ever leaving. So I didn’t get to anchor much. I needed more anchoring experience and more anchoring clips for my reel. You know how it is—people want toseeyou doing it before they’ll consider hiring you to do it. Plus—I’d never been to the South. I thought it would be an adventure.”

“You’re brave. What do you think so far?”

He gave me a flirty glance. “Well, I have to admit, there’s a lot to love about the area—” My ringtone interrupted.

“Sorry—it’s my dad. He’s probably calling about my car.” I hit the button. “Hi Daddy.”

My father told me he’d had my car checked out by a mechanic after towing it this morning and that everything was working well. He and my brother Tee planned to drop it by the station for me later in the afternoon.

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