Page 49 of Reckless Rebel

Breakfast is its usual all-out family affair and not surprisingly, Riley has slotted in seamlessly. Everyone seems to like her and she seems happy enough to be here. It’s weird, with Taylor she was already part of this world before I could invite her in, but with Riley I’m the link that has brought her here. I can see her tracking every person here, wondering who they truly are, and what their place is in my family, and how they relate to me, something I often do myself.

I wish I didn’t feel so comfortable having her here, wish she was rude, or ignorant, and I could tell them that I’ll never bring her around again, but I already know my wishes will never come true. So here she sits, by my side, surrounded by the most important people in my life, barring our little sister.

“So, Riley,” Logan clears his throat and stares at her, getting almost everyone else’s attention as he says her name. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

I can practically feel her squirm under everyone's attention, and I know Elle has turned her stare onto me completely as Riley answers quickly, “Yes,” she pauses, probably thinking about whatever went down last night. “No, I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Logan nods like he really cares, but I see the teasing tilt of his lips, it’s one that dances across my own face from time to time. “It always is when there is a Rebel involved.”

Riley fidgets and I place my hand on her thigh again under the table and squeeze as I talk, hoping to reassure her, “Don’t meddle in someone else's affairs, when you don’t even have your own in order, little Royton.”

Logan smiles. “My affairs are always in order thank you,” He quips back in delight, and I see Lily roll her eyes at him, more than used to his bullshit.

“Oh yeah? Then maybe you should tell Donovan and your boyfriend to stop staring at one another across the table.” It’s a cheap shot, but I know Riley doesn’t want all the attention on her.

I see Linc’s jaw tighten from here, but as usual the ever unaffected Asher Donovan doesn’t so much as blink as he smiles our way, “My apologies, Riley, Conrad seems to have forgotten his table manners this morning.”

A savage grin crosses my mouth, “It’s almost like they were beaten out of me, Donovan.” I emphasize the name I know he hates so much as I flex the wrist that was broken earlier this year. His eyes darken at the reminder of what his brother and his men did to me. Not just the crash but the fucking beating I took after.

It’s a low blow and I know it, Asher took a fucking bullet to save Elle’s life and that is something none of us will ever forget, but I will also never forget who he shares his DNA with. What they did and who they did it to. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it.

“Pretty Boy,” Elle warns. “Please don’t make me show off my special skills in front of our guests.” She says the words with a smile, but I can see the seriousness behind them.

I shake my head. “Of course you’d take his side, the elite always stick together, right?” I spit my words at her, in a way I’d never really mean, but it seems I can’t help it. I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, or the drugs running through me, but I know I’m not myself.

“Careful, Conrad, some people might think you are trying to reopen old wounds,” Asher tsks, lifting his crystal glass of orange juice to his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Some wounds never heal, no matter how hard you try.” I realize I am still gripping Riley’s thigh when my hand tightens and she jumps under my touch slightly. I drop my arm immediately.

“That’s enough,” Lincoln breaks his silence and my grin widens as Asher flicks his gaze over to him instantly, like the drawl of his voice is a magnet he can’t refuse.

I can feel the tension of the entire table, Riley included and know I need to break it. “Will you two just fuck already and put us all out of our misery,” I quip, and am immediately scolded for my language.

“Swear jar!” Cassie yells, and Elle gives me the death stare as I reach into my jeans and toss a twenty onto the table towards her.

“Sorry, kid.” I shrug, they are all used to my antics by now, and Cassie makes more money off me than anyone else in this damn house.

“So you go to this cabin every year, Riley?” Helen chimes in and saves everyone from the disaster I just created, and just as I let out a quiet sigh and slump back in my chair, a small hand lands in my lap.

I look down and find Riley’s fingers giving my leg a little squeeze as she goes into detail about where we are heading on vacation and what we will be doing, all the while her touch soothes me completely. It shouldn’t, or I shouldn’t let it, but how can I stop myself from feeling good around her? I’m starting to feel like I am standing on the edge of a mountain, desperate to just jump, but something is holding me back. I’m scared to jump, I’m scared not to jump, but most of all I’m scared that she might be the thing keeping me grounded.

After the family breakfast-turned shit show, I head upstairs to pack all my stuff, not forgetting to dump a few bottles of whiskey and a stash of pills in the bottom. I’d tell myself I can manage without them, but I’d be lying, yeah I’ve been trying harder lately, for Sofia, for Riley, but I still feel the need for something coursing through me, and with the next two weeks going to be spent ignoring another need I have, I make sure to pack them.

When I finally head outside I do it with one blond wrapped around my ankle and another wrapped around my torso, as both Elle and Cassie hug me goodbye.

“You know he’s only going for two weeks right?” Marcus says with amusement from behind us.

“Shut up, River, I know it’s only two weeks,” Elle scolds him, pulling back from our embrace. “I’m gonna miss you, Pretty Boy.” Her words soothe an ache in my chest, I don’t deserve them, not after how I acted at breakfast, but of course Elle is always there to remind me I can be better. If only she were right.

“I’ll miss you too, Queenie,” I sigh, wishing it didn’t feel so hard to leave them, knowing I need them more than they need me. “But Marcus is right, I’ll be back before you know it.” I try to reassure her, but I see the look in her eyes, this is more than just missing one another and me being away. It’s pure worry, which after everything we have gone through together I completely understand. I swallow a thick lump in my throat as I give her hand a quick squeeze. “Everything will be fine.”

“Well, call me if you need anything, and you know help is always closer than you think.” Her little warning isn’t lost on me and I immediately know that she will have called a couple of Max’s guys to be on standby should I need anything while I’m away.

Riley lingers by my car watching our exchange and Elle follows my gaze. “She’s pretty great,” she says lowering her voice so only I can hear her.

Her approval shouldn’t relieve me, but it does. “Yeah she is.”

“You deserve to be happy, Pretty Boy, don’t you ever forget that, sometimes things have to completely fall apart before they can come together.” She bends down and pulls Cassie into her arms and I pull them both in for one more hug, tighter than the last one.

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