Page 32 of Reckless Rebel

When I open the door, Elle speaks without turning around, “That was quick, I’m starving.”

I know she hasn’t seen me and her words aren’t for me so I announce myself, “It’s me.” My voice comes out low, but she turns as soon as she hears it, a genuine smile on her face.

After yesterday I honestly expected more hostility, but she just greets me with the same compassion and warmth as always. And as always, I don’t deserve it, not after how shitty I have been acting, “Hey, Pretty Boy, how was the BBQ?”

I smile just thinking about it. “It was really great, did you see the video I sent?” Watching Gerry and Ava dance was literally like being around Helen and Arthur, like looking into Marcus and Elle’s future. Some people are just made for each other and no one can get in the way of the force that draws them to one another.

Her grin widens. “Yeah, Gerry and Ava are so great, right?” Her comment reminds me she has probably met them or at least spoken to them numerous times before I even knew about them.

I’m nodding before she even finishes her sentence and then an awkward silence engulfs the room, which I ache to break. “Look, Queenie, about yesterday.”

Elle holds her hands up to stop me. “It’s okay, Pretty Boy, I know.”

I ignore her attempts to play down our argument. “I’m sorry,” the two simple but so meaningful words burst out of me before I can stop them.

Her smile drops and then she is walking towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist. “Just promise me you’ll keep fighting, Jace, I can’t lose anyone else.”

The way she grips me is like she thinks I might break, like if she lets go I’d fade away into nothing. I wish I could tell her I wouldn’t, but who really knows. The only thing I do know is that I want to try, for her, for Sofia, for them. I pull back to look down at her and then hold my finger out to her. “Pinky promise.”

Her shoulders relax as she reaches out to curl her finger with mine, and then she is dragging me to the curved sofa and forcing me to sit down.

“Tell me everything, what’s she like?”

Thinking about Sofia makes the need within me for something more soften. “She’s so amazing, Ells. She’s funny, smart, sassy, and just says whatever is on her mind, she reminds me so much of Rachel.” It’s the first time in a while that thinking of my older sister doesn’t hurt.

My childhood was shitty, but it could have been worse, but I don’t for one second regret not knowing Sofia. Don’t get me wrong I wish I had met her sooner, but the fact she gets to grow up knowing the love of Gerry and Ava, in that beautiful house with an older sister that adores her, it’s the best thing I could ever ask for. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be scared, hungry, hurt, or in pain, she just knows love and happiness. The Deckers are amazing and Sofia is lucky to have them and so am I.

“What about Riley?” Elle interrupts my thoughts.

“What about her?” I must look confused because she pushes on.

“What’s she like?” I don’t know why she is asking when they have already met briefly on two separate occasions.

I shrug my shoulders. “Cool I guess,” especially now she is no longer the captain of the I hate Jace train, we have gotten on a lot better since calling our truce last night. Thinking about last night makes me think of Dicky. “Her boyfriend is a total fucking douche canoe though. A right preppy little fuck. You should hear the smarmy way he talks Ells, and god is he a fucking lick ass. His face just looks like it needs a good punch, daily.” I don’t mean to rant, but it seems when it comes to him I can’t help myself.

“Wow,” Elle blows out a breath, and I look at her and see a smirk curling around her lips.

I frown, “What?”

Now it’s her turn to shrug, “Nothing, that's quite the rant, that’s all.” Her tone is casual but her words seem like they have an underlying meaning.

I ignore her and try to explain, “He just rubs me the wrong way, that's all.” It’s not a big deal, I just know how to spot a prick when I see one.

The door opens and Marcus and Lincoln enter the room as Elle says, “Maybe it's not him that rubs you the wrong way.”

“What are you talking about, Queenie?” The guys join us on the sofa without saying a word and start unpacking food from containers.

“Riley,” Elle states simply, “She’s very pretty.” She is speaking to me like she is addressing a child and it would fuck me off if I had a clue what she was trying to say.

“Yeah she's stunning, what's your point?” She must hear the sternness in my voice because she just shrugs again.

“Nothing, Pretty Boy, absolutely nothing,” She doesn’t say anything else, just picks up the plate of food Marcus has made up for her and digs in.

I'm not hungry, after eating far too much food at the Decker’s, but I can still feel that need within me pulsating as it screams for me to feed something other than my hunger. I want to leave the room, but casually, without drawing suspicion, but just as I am about to move, Lincoln drops onto the sofa beside me.

He hands me a tumbler I didn’t see him fetch, with amber liquid swirling inside, and then passes me a joint, a lighter, and one small pill. I look up into his eyes and see the worry behind his stern gaze. Seems I am not as good at hiding shit as I thought. It’s no secret I drink and smoke, but I’ve tried to keep my need for pills under wraps. It’s not like I make it obvious, it started with the pain pills the hospital gave me after the crash, and has continued with anything I can get my hands on that makes me feel empty. I honestly thought I had it under the radar, but of course my watchful brother misses nothing. I tip my chin ever so slightly before I down the pill, followed by a splash of the smooth whiskey. Then I settle back and light up the joint and pretend I’m not totally fucked up inside.

I watch Elle as her eyes sparkle when she looks at Marcus, how she laughs easily at the shitty joke he just told her, and as she hums in delight at the taste of her food. She has been through so much shit, seen and felt some of the worst things anyone could ever go through, yet here she is, surviving. Not just surviving, but thriving, happy, owning her demons and keeping them at bay.

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