“Yeah, I crashed her and Riley’s girl's night. We had pizza and watched Cinderella.” I reply simply.
“And now you’re home?” Marcus inquires like it’s a question and not an obvious statement.
I frown. “Yes,” I say slowly. “And now I’m home, I’m gonna shower and try to get some sleep. The Deckers invited me to a BBQ tomorrow and I wanna be there early to help out.”
They both stare at me like I have grown another head before Elle smiles. “Well, alright then, night, Pretty Boy.”
“Goodnight.” I turn on my heels and head to my room, still feeling weird about the interaction with them. I mean it’s not that unusual for me to be home, or is it? I guess I don’t know anymore. I know I’ve changed, that I haven’t been dealing with things that great, but I’m still the same Jace they know, right?
I shower quickly, still thinking about how they acted, before I toss back an Ambien, grab a beer, and then roll a joint. Slumping down on the window seat to smoke it. My phone buzzes constantly on the dresser, but I ignore it and just let the high roll over me like I have been desperate for all day.
As always my head is filled with images I wish I could forget. Rachel’s face the last time I saw her, Taylor's blood splayed across the floor, and Elle’s eyes as she was about to say I do. I take another deep inhale, wishing the decadent mix of weed, drugs, and alcohol was enough to numb them images into nothing. If only life were that easy.
My phone continues to buzz and I can’t take it anymore. I finish the joint, stub it out, and then get up to move to bed, grabbing my phone as I go. I’m about to just switch it off, when I notice one of the messages is from Riley.
Riles - Two chapters of Alice and she was out like a light. She had fun tonight, thank you again. (IMAGE ATTACHED)
There is a picture of me and Sofia, clearly it was taken without us knowing, as we are both solely focused on the TV. You’d have to be blind to think we weren’t related, same hair, same eyes, even the same damn smirk. I love it, love that Riley took it for us, off guard and unposed, just natural. I save it and immediately set it as my phone background before I text back.
Jace - Clearly she gets her pretty face from her big brother.
Riles - Do you ever suffocate under that huge ego?
Jace - There’s only one thing huge about me Red & it ain’t my ego. But guess you already know that, don’t you? *wink emoji*
Riles - *eye roll emoji* Go to sleep Playboy, big day tomorrow.
Jace - Whatever you say Riles.
I wait for the typing bubbles to pop up again, but they don’t, so I shut off my phone and get into bed. I still feel too wired to sleep, but instead of thoughts of Rachel and Taylor, I find myself thinking about Sofia and Riley. It isn’t long before I fall into the first deep sleep I’ve had in six months.
16
Riley
I look stupid. I am staring in the mirror at myself, yet the person looking back at me, isn’t me at all. I look pretty, beautiful even, and all because I let some stupid boy get into my head. I spent half the night not being able to sleep, going over, and over, what Rick said to me last night.
It’s not like you are even his type. Especially not dressed like that.
What did that even mean? I mean yeah, I was wearing pajamas, but still it hurt that he would toss out a statement so degrading. It’s not like I expect every guy to be attracted to me, but it hurts that Rick dismissed it as even being a possibility. He’s my boyfriend, shouldn’t he look at me and see something, anything, or at least enough to be jealous about any other guy, regardless of what they look like.
My dad tells my mom that she is beautiful every single day, it doesn't matter what she is wearing or what she is doing. She is beautiful to him, always. Isn’t that what love is? Being able to see past all the exterior bullshit and see more. So why for the first time ever, do I feel like what's on the inside of me is not enough?
That inner turmoil is what spurred me into this crazy idea of giving myself a little makeover. I’ve taken my long red locks, which are usually scraped into a ponytail or braid of some sort, and curled them into big, sleek waves. I have forgone my usual attire of dance tights and a sports top for a short pair of black cut-offs with embroidered purple flowers on the back pockets. A purple lace bralette matched with a low cut black tank with a few buttons popped to allow the bra to peek out. Black sandals sit on my feet instead of sneakers, and I’ve even painted my nails and toes a matte black.
I added just a touch of mascara and then some lip balm, and covered the rest of my face in my SPF moisturiser. Once I am ready, I take one last look in the mirror, then grab my phone and take a picture. It takes a few tries and multiple poses until I land on one that I like enough. As soon as I am happy with it, I send it to Rick. He won’t be coming today, the BBQ is family only, which I guess includes Jace now. But that doesn’t mean I can’t show my makeover off to Rick.
Riley: Wish you were here today! *heart emoji* (IMAGE ATTACHED)
I wait a couple of seconds, but the message stays unread, so I slide my phone into my pocket and head downstairs. I don’t see my Dad or Sofia anywhere, but I can hear my Mom singing in the kitchen, so I head her way.
“Need any help?” I ask, already knowing the answer. She goes absolutely bat shit crazy for this thing, even though it’s only ever just the four of us. Well, five this year I guess, but it’s been a tradition we’ve had for like ever.
“No, Sweetheart, I’m okay, Oh my god.” She turns, freezing as she looks at me and I immediately panic.
“What?” I stare at her in confusion.
“You look so beautiful, Darling.” She puts down the tray in her hand and moves towards me, fluffing my hair out in that total motherly way. “So grown up and so stunning.”