Page 74 of Reckless Rebel

“You got a tattoo? Let me see, let me see.” She bounces excitedly up and down in her seat.

I lift my hair from where it’s hanging around my shoulders and turn so both her and my mom can get a look at it. “It’s probably a little smudged,” I say cringing, thinking about what I did with Jace and the shower I just took.

I can tell Jace is thinking the same when I catch him smirking at me, a smirk that causes butterflies in my stomach which are timed perfectly with my sister’s screech.

“It’s a butterfly!” Sofia screams, “Because I’m your butterfly.”

I turn and hug her close to me. “Always, little butterfly.”

We clean up after breakfast and decide to spend a day lounging by the cabin. I watch as my dad teaches Jace how to fish, and my mom helps Sofia paint, it’s the perfect family day.

I’m sitting on the deck, just lounging in the sun when my phone starts ringing. It’s Rick.

Seeing his name bursts the little bubble I have entered into in the last few days, I’ve barely even thought about him. My eyes trail back over to Jace, who looks my way and smiles, the same carefree smile he has been giving me all morning and I feel my stomach flutter. I don’t think twice about hitting ignore on Rick’s call after that, and don’t bother to read the text messages he sends after before I delete them.

I head inside and change into some dance gear and decide to get a quick stretch and workout in. I go through my usual motions and then go over the routine that I created the other night on the deck when I didn’t know Jace was watching. It comes to me from memory completely, and I continue to add more moves until I have a full routine going. When I do a final spin and stop, I am interrupted with hollers and cheers from my mom, dad, and Sofia.

“That was so amazing, Riley!” Sofia cheers coming up to me and giving me a hug.

I ruffle her hair as I squeeze her back, “Thanks, butterfly.”

“That was the best routine I have ever seen you do, honey,” my mom says, and my dad nods in agreement as he picks Sofia up from next to me. “Really great, now I think it’s time we all get washed up for dinner.”

They head inside as Jace walks up the steps with some of his stuff in his hand, he dumps in on the chair, flicks his eyes to where my parents just disappeared inside and then grabs me and pulls me against him.

“I’m hard as a fucking rock after watching that, baby, care to dance on my dick later?” He rolls his hips against me so I can feel his firm erection trapped against my stomach and my whole body flushes.

“You’re ridiculous,” I scold with a smile, but really my insides are melting at his proximity to me. It has never been like this, never felt like this, not with Rick, not with anyone, until now, until him.

He leans down and steals a quick kiss from my lips. “And you’re fucking perfect.”

He kisses me one more time before he pulls away, winks, and then grabs his stuff and heads inside. I have to catch my breath and calm down before I can go inside, and when I do I head right upstairs for an extra cold shower.

* * *

We do family dinner and games night and I learn that Jace is just as competitive as my dad, when they battle head to head in Twister, Go Fish, and Charades, both of them complaining profusely if the other one wins. Jace also touches me any chance he gets, whether it be a corny high five, or a sneaky squeeze of my thigh or waist. Either way I feel like my whole body is alive and panting after him, just waiting until it is time for everyone to go to bed.

By the time Sofia is ready to sleep it’s almost ten, and I excuse myself to head upstairs under the premise that I am going to sleep, but really I am readying myself for another Jace sleepover that involves anything but sleep I hope. It’s almost an hour before I finally hear my parents door close, and when I peek out of my door I see most of the lights are off apart from the hallway light and porch.

I slip out of my room for the second night in a row, but when I make my way downstairs to head towards his room, I hear my mom’s voice.

“Do you think you don’t deserve to be here because you didn’t save her?” Her tone isn’t one I hear often directed at me, she is in shrink mode, but there is a hint of affection behind it. Who is she talking to? It’s a little late to be taking a work call.

Just as I have that thought, Jace replies, “I think the only reason I am here is because someone else saw something in me and decided I was worth it.”

“Worth what?”

I know I should turn around, walk away, and pretend I didn’t overhear his words, but my feet are frozen to the ground as he speaks, “Worth being more than this.” There is a long pause before he continues, “Before I met Marcus I was nothing, nobody, just another poor piece of trailer trash with a dead sister, he didn’t change that, but when he and Lincoln came into my life it was the first time I had felt a connection with anyone since Rachel, and all I wanted to do was hold on.”

“Then why this?” I’m not sure what she means until she adds, “The smoking, the drinking, and whatever else you’re into, if you want to hold onto them, why are you trying so hard to make them let go.”

“Because they should let go,” he snaps back. “I’m not worthy of their love, their affection, every ounce of it that I receive from them makes me burn with the regret of my mistakes.” The words fly from his mouth quickly, like he has been holding them back, then he sighs, “If it weren’t for Elle, Cass, for my brothers, I’d have ceased to exist, like I can feel the darkness pulling me in, but there are these four tethers holding me in place,” he pauses before adding, “Five now, since I found out about Sofia, and I want to hold on, I do, but sometimes it feels like it might just be easier to let go.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Jace, it doesn’t make us bad people,” my mom replies, and then she exhales a huff. “Think about how you feel about not being able to save your sister and that girl, how do you think your family would feel if they didn’t save you? That’s all they are trying to do, Sweetheart, please let them.”

“I’m trying,” he whispers.

“That’s all anyone can do, promise me that you will keep trying,. I hear the scrape of a chair and I know someone is moving, “And that you’ll remember I’m here when you are ready.”

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