Page 60 of Reckless Rebel

Never in my life have I felt as turned on as I am now. A few nights ago I let my boyfriend fuck me for the first time in a party bathroom, and now here I am with another guy getting nowhere close to being that intimate, yet somehow this is still the most erotic moment I have ever experienced. I feel alive for the first time ever, like I am high off his entire being. Jace Conrad has just officially ruined me and the only place he actually touched me was my thigh.

I am still trying to catch my breath when he whispers my name like a plea, “Riley.” His hand reaches out to cup my cheek, and just as he moves in like he might actually give me what I want and kiss me, a loud thud breaks us apart.

“Times up love birds,” Billy’s muffled voice shouts through the door.

Jace moves away first. “Just a minute,” he yells back before he takes a step away from me and tucks himself away, fastening his jeans and straightening himself back up as if nothing even happened.

I follow his lead, jumping down from the ledge and shimmying back into my underwear. That tension that has been between us is now bigger than ever before, and I don’t get a chance to say anything, he just checks me over and then opens the door for us to leave.

He moves back through the house without stopping to talk to Billy, who looks at me in question, but I just shrug and follow after Jace. By the time I catch up to him, he is swigging whiskey directly from the bottle and I can’t think of anything to say, so I do nothing but hold my hand out for a drink, I certainly need it. We pass the bottle back and forth without a word until the only thing I feel is buzzed. What the hell do we do now? Talk about it or act like it never happened. The uncertainty of the situation makes my skin crawl as my anxiety starts to flare.

I feel Jace’s eyes on me but I can’t look at him, not right now, not after what we just did, especially when it probably meant nothing to him, just another party and just another girl. Yet here I am wondering why I just threw an accelerant on the flames of attraction I was already feeling towards him. The words ‘silly little crush’ now mock me in my mind, this feels like so much more than that and we haven’t even kissed. He barely even touched me, yet seven minutes in a closet with him and I feel more lust and attraction for him than I ever felt with Rick.

“I need some air,” I rush the words out and am already moving before I wait for his response. I need to breathe, to push past what I just did and evaluate how I am going to handle things going forward.

My breaths are short and heavy as I stumble out into the night and head towards a huge tree for support. It’s not even thirty-seconds before Jace appears silently beside me, he doesn’t say anything, just pulls a joint from his back pocket, lights it up, and leans his back against the tree looking back towards the house.

“You know I don’t even like parties,” he starts, taking a deep drag and blowing out the smoke. “It’s just a bunch of people who aren’t in the right state of mind, trying to forget about how shitty their lives are.”

I watch his hands shake as he flexes them, maybe the joint and alcohol aren’t enough for him, maybe I’m not enough for him, maybe no one is. Not since Taylor. “So why do you always go to them?”

His laugh is humorless as he inhales another deep pull of his joint. “Because drowning alone isn’t as fun, Riles.”

I turn to look at him. “But you aren’t alone, you have your family, and Sofia.” I move until I am next to him. “And me.” I add barely above a whisper, hoping he doesn’t hear the fear in my voice. I’m in too deep and if I want to survive the tsunami that is Jace Conrad I should protect myself, but I don’t want to. For the first time in my life I want to dive in head first.

He shakes his head, finishing his joint, and throwing it to the floor as he looks down at me, “Everything in this life is temporary, Red, trust me, I learned that the hard way.”

My hand lands on his chest before I can second guess it as I look up at him, “Jace.” At this moment he isn’t Sofia’s brother, he isn’t a South Side Rebel, he’s just the guy I like even when I know I shouldn’t. His face lit up by nothing but the moonlight, he has never looked more tempting and when my eyes lock on his lips once more I know how much trouble I’m in.

His heart beats like thunder beneath my palm as he says, “You’re looking at me like you want me to kiss you, Riles.” His voice sounds pained as he says that, like he is caught in a turmoil he doesn’t know his way out of.

I shouldn’t but I can’t help but say, “I would kiss you if I knew you’d let me.”

His smile drops. “You heard about that?” He asks with a frown.

“Are you surprised by that? It’s not exactly a secret.” His confusion baffles me, surely he knows the kind of reputation he leaves behind, “People are always talking about you.”

He huffs, shaking his head and looking up at the stars, “And yet not one of them really knows me.”

“I do,” I whisper to myself, but he hears it, bringing his gaze back to mine.

“Yeah you do.”

The intensity of his gaze forces me to drop my eyes to the floor, but his fingers grip my chin before I can fully look away, “Don’t go shy on me now, Red, it was just a game, right?”

“Yeah, just a game,” I whisper, pulling my chin from his hand. Just a dangerous, losing game. I take a step back and let my hand drop from his chest. “I’m tired, can we go?”

I see the flash of regret on his face, but he straightens up, pulling his phone from his jeans, “Sure, I’ll get us a cab now.”

We wait in silence for our ride and thankfully it arrives in just a few minutes. I feel Jace’s stare on me the whole time, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. How could I be so naive and stupid? To fall into his trap that has snared so many other girls. I’m not this girl, the one who messes around with guys who aren’t her boyfriend, so what is it about Jace that makes me lose my senses? I was with Rick for months and had to work up the courage to have sex with him, and even then I wasn’t fully sure I should, I just did it to make him happy and to try and prove I didn’t like Jace. Which was clearly utter bullshit. Jace didn’t even touch me in the closet, yet I still feel him all over me, everywhere, like he has forced his way inside of me and took over my entire body.

I am itching to get away from him and wash this whole night away from me, and when the cab pulls up in front of our cabin, I dive from it without a word, ignoring the dampness that still lingers between the apex of my thighs and head straight to the front door.

“Riles, wait!” Jace calls my name, but I don’t stop, I can’t, I don’t want to hear whatever excuse he usually offers to his other conquests, I can’t bear it, I feel stupid enough as it is. I fumble to get my keys out, but before I can get them in the door, he grabs my arm and spins me around, “Riles, please, let’s talk.”

“About what?” I ask in nonchalance, not letting myself meet his eyes.

“You’re mad at me.” He states matter of factly.

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