Page 15 of Reckless Rebel

Eight minutes later I am showered, dressed, drugged, and entering the kitchen in search of some black magic. I finish filling my coffee cup just as Lincoln appears.

“Morning.” Quiet and stoic as always, at least some things never change, but just as I think that Logan appears behind him, his usually flirty smile perfectly in place.

“Morning, Pretty Boy,” he purrs, using Elle’s nickname for me and then makes no secret of checking me out. “Looking a little rougher than usual, I’m digging it.”

I flick my eyes between him and Lincoln, trying to work out what I have missed, but their faces give nothing away, and before I can ask, more people join us in the kitchen. Elle and Marcus, followed by Asher and Cassie, and then to my surprise, Lily, Arthur, Helen, and Zack all appear too. So when Marcus said family breakfast, he really meant family breakfast. I scan my brain trying to think if I have missed a birthday or something, but come up empty.

“Great, everyone’s here.” Elle smiles wide, but I don’t miss the look she gives me, like she is afraid I will bolt as soon as I have the chance. She directs us all into the dining room where breakfast is being served buffet style. We all load up our plates and then sit down to eat.

I don’t follow much of the conversation, just shovelling food into my mouth to try to placate the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. At least the tremor has gone. For now at least.

“So, you went to meet her?” Lily whispers from beside me, and when I look at her she is looking down at her plate, like she doesn’t want to draw attention to us or our conversation. I’m not surprised she knows about Sofia. I imagine everyone at this table knew before I did.

“Had dinner with her and her family last night.” I confirm in a hushed tone, and she nods slightly.

“How was it?” She asks quietly and I want to laugh, such a simple question, yet such a complicated question. How was it? It was weird, yet wonderful, completely and utterly petrifying, yet the most centered I’ve felt in the last five months. I don’t know how to put all that into words so I just shrug.

“It was okay, her parents are nice and she’s really great.” I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as I speak.

“Are they worth it?” She asks. This time I feel her staring at me as I reach for my phone when it vibrates a second and third time, and when I look at her our eyes lock.

Her words have me confused, “Are they worth what?”

“Fighting against the downward spiral you’re on.” Her words draw Elle’s attention, and I see Helen looking between the two of us with worry etched into her face. Lily and I aren’t what I would say close, but we formed a sort of friendship over Christmas and when she’s home and feels the need, she comes and hangs out with me. We smoke, we drink, and just enjoy the silence we both offer one another. It shouldn’t shock me that she is suddenly trying to throw her two cents into the mix like the rest of my family, but it does.

I huff a breath, feeling the sweat starting to gather on my neck. I want to answer her, but I don’t know how, so instead I ignore her in favor of my phone.

I open it up to a new group chat I’m not familiar with, but then I spy G-Dog’s name as one of the participants and it doesn't take me long to figure out how I have been added to some sort of family chat and I quickly save the other numbers.

G-Dog - Welcome to the madhouse Jace *thumbs up emoji*

Fifi - Yay you added Jacey! Thanks Dad *heart emoji* *unicorn emoji* *peace sign emoji*

Ava - Let us know what day you are free for dinner again honey

Riles - Seriously! You added him to OUR family group chat… SERIOUSLY!

Fifi - Because he’s our family *eye roll emoji* for someone who reads so many books you sound really dumb right now *unicorn emoji*

A laugh bubbles out of me before I can stop it, and everyone at the table stops what they are doing to stare at me, and I shift uncomfortably. “What?” I snap.

Nobody says anything as they look between each other and move to start eating again until Cassie says, “That’s the first time you have laughed in ages.” Her statement is so casual and innocent, she doesn’t realize the impact of it, but as I look at the faces of my family, I can see how true it is.

I stand abruptly. “Excuse me.” I rush from the room, my heart racing in my chest and make my way outside, walking until I hit the huge tree that holds Marcus and Elle’s treehouse and then I slump against it, trying to catch my breath.

“Jace.” Elle’s voice hits my ear and I close my eyes, I really don’t need more of her comfort right now. I take a deep breath and then slowly turn around, opening my eyes to meet hers. Instead of the pity I expect there, I find a happy smile.

She holds up my keys with a shake in my direction, “Starbies?”

Another laugh bursts out of me, that is not what I expected her to say, and I can’t help but respond. “I don’t know, Queenie, last time didn’t exactly turn out so great.” I see the regret cross her gaze as she remembers that awful day, before she hides it again.

“It's not like we can live the worst day of our lives again,” she mutters, sorrow clear as day on her face even behind her smile. I wish her words were true. I live through two of the worst days of my life every single day on repeat.

I can see by the look on her face that she needs the company more than I do today. Sure she has Marcus and the rest of our family to lean on, but they weren’t there. They don’t know.

“Come on then, Queenie, a chocolate frappe isn’t gonna make me feel worse now is it?” I find myself agreeing, the smile lighting up her face is worth it.

She tosses my keys at me and I catch them, then follow her around to the garage. She’s silent as we get onto the road, and she doesn’t comment when I slip out of the town of Hallows and jump onto the freeway to the next town over. I just need the change of scenery today, but her silence doesn’t last long.

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