Page 37 of Revenge of a Queen

I would never admit this out loud but sometimes I am jealous of Jace Conrad. You’d think him kissing my girl would be the thing that makes me jealous but it’s not. Okay that’s a lie, the fact he has had his lips on what is mine makes me want to punch his fucking face, but that’s not why. I am jealous of how he can handle himself, his coping mechanism. How he takes his heartache and pain and just mashes it all down and puts a smile on his face, like his world hasn’t fallen apart. It’s something I always wish would come easy to me.

He grabs Cassie from Elle and launches her into the air before catching her again and dunking her back into the pool to her shoulders. Over and over, he does this and the giggles that pierce the air, pierce my heart at the same time. I can tell by the interaction and Elle’s smile, that they must have done this before.

I spent the last few weeks getting drunk and high believing some stupid bullshit because I was too fucking hurt to see the truth. All the while I was missing out on this. Missing out on time spent with Elle, her daughter, my brothers, our family. I should have been here with them. The ache in my chest returns. Just as I rub my hand to it like I can stop it from hurting, Elle looks over and catches my eye. She looks back to Cassie and Jace, saying something I don’t hear, they both nod, and then she is looking back at me. She dips under the water and swims towards me until she hits the side.

She puts her hands on the side and uses the force to pull herself from the water. My eyes immediately lock onto her tits. Her perfect, fucking magnificent tits. I don’t allow my gaze to linger too long and I drop my stare as she pushes out and stands. I am ready to take in the rest of her body until my eyes drop to her stomach and I freeze. The arousal I felt is doused in cold water when I take in the multiple scars on her abdomen. Some faded but there are two prominent ones that stand out against her otherwise perfect skin.

I feel sick. My skin is on fire, my heart rate increasing, and my stomach churning. My hands grip my thighs so tight; I think I could draw blood even through the fabric of my fucking jeans.

Taken. Beaten. Raped.

Those words float around my head on repeat and still my mind can’t contemplate the horrors she must have endured. Why? Where? For how long? Fuck. I need to get out of here. Find that fucker and bleed him dry.

I stand from the lounger so fast that my legs push it back and I scramble to stay standing. The anger pushes through me in a way I have never felt before. I can’t do this. I am going to break my promises before the day is even out. Don’t retaliate. That is what she asked of me because she knew. She fucking knew her skin bore the marks of his sick and twisted crimes.

He is going to fucking die. I am going to torture him until he begs me to stop. I will not feel better until his body is cold and dead, at my fucking feet. Even then, I doubt I will feel anything other than this fucking fury.

Fuck. I never thought I would see the day where I would understand Asher fucking Donovan. He changed after Elle left, and I always just put it down to him being quiet and reserved. I thought people were exaggerating when they said he was deadly. Now I get it. That night changed him. That night made him. That dark stare, that fierce protectiveness of Ells, it all stems back to that night.

I turn and flee the room quickly pushing through the doors and smack right into Lincoln. The rage is consuming me so much, I didn’t even see him. I can barely breathe. He grabs me by the shoulder and forces my face to his so he can lock eyes with me. He observesthe look in my eyes and then moves his gaze over my shoulder. I see him do a quick once over and then look back to me.

“Don’t be reckless, brother, not anymore. She needs you strong and by her side,” he squeezes my shoulder before pulling me into a quick hug and smacking me on the back. He moves around me and pushes through the doors I just fled through.

I hear the doors again and take a deep breath again before turning around. It takes everything in me to try keep my emotions in check. When I turn, I find Elle with a towel wrapped around her, and immediately feel like a fucking prick for making her feel like she needs to cover up. She thinks I fled because of her body, I did but not in the way she thinks. I didn’t run because of her body; I ran because of what he did to her body. She gestures to a room off to the side of where we are standing, and I follow behind her until we enter, and she closes the door behind us and leans on it.

She speaks before I even get the chance, “Look, Marcus,” the way she says my name cuts through me, whenever I’m not River I know I’m not going to like what she is about to say. “I understand if this changes things for you,” I frown not sure where she is going with this. “I don’t have any expectations of you. My life is messy and complicated, and it won’t be easy, so if you need an out, then no hard feelings. You will always be my best friend.”

WHAT THE FUCK! My heart is beating so fucking hard I hear it pounding in my ears. Pound. Pound. Pound.

Is that what she wants? Have I read this whole situation wrong?

I am frozen and not really sure what to say, “Is that what you want?” I ask and even I can hear desperate confusion in my tone.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” she answers immediately before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them and taking a step towards me, clutching at the towel around her. That fucking towel, like she needs a barrier between us, like there haven’t been enough fucking barriers that we’ve had to break through. I want to rip it from her body and burn it. Tell her to never fucking hide anything from me ever again. Peel back every layer she has built around her heart until I can grasp it in my hands and keep it forever.

“Ells,” I start, but she cuts me off.

“No, Marcus, I get it I do. There are plenty of girls out there who don’t come with all this baggage and a scarred body,” she says, gesturing to herself, her voice getting smaller and quieter with each word. Nothing like my usual strong and confident little King.

Oh no, not today, baby.

I move quickly, until she is pushed back against the door and my body is covering hers. Not a bit of space between us. Her gaze locked on my chest.

“Baby look at me,” I whisper and wait until she gives in and looks up. “There is only one girl in this world who is perfect for me and I am looking right at her. She shouldn’t want me, I for sure, don’t fucking deserve her, but god, do I fucking want her. I want her more than my next fucking breath,” a tear rolls down her cheek and I move my hands to cup her face swiping the tear at the same time. “You are my missing piece, Ells, I just don’t work without you.”

“But I’m not whole anymore Riv. I’m broken and bruised. Used,” she whispers, her voice breaking and the pain in her tone fucking guts me. How can she see herself like that? She tries to tear her gaze away from mine and push me back, but I fight against her.

“Then I am going to fucking put you back together, baby,” I grit out, gripping her neck and pulling her forehead against mine. “Build you up until you are whole again because we won’t let them win. They don’t get to fucking ruin you, ruin us. They are insignificant in our lives, little King. A blip on the radar. Me and you baby, me and you are going to change this fucking world. For you, for her, for us. Because you are it for me, Elle King, always have been, always will be. I love you.”

We are so close that our lips brush as I pour my heart out to her and lay it all on the line. I can’t believe I just let those three words fall from my lips. I didn’t even realize how fucking true they are until right this second. I love her, I am in fucking love with her. I mean I knew I had feelings for her, I always have, whether it be love, hate, friendship, fucking lust. They all tangled together in a complicated web of secrets and lies, of her being my everything, then my nothing. She came back to this town and back to my life and made it impossible to ignore her. Not like I could have ever forgotten her. Elle King is a stain on my soul that can’t be erased.

“I love you too,” she whispers back and the taste of her breath mixing with mine at her confession will be something I remember for eternity. Etched onto my black fucking heart.

Four words. Four beautiful words and I can fucking breathe again. For the first time in three fucking years, I can breathe without being in pain. Like I am alive and have something to fucking live for. I step back and rip the towel from her body, and she gasps.

“That is the last time you hide from me, Ells. From now on every secret you have is also mine, every tear, every pain, every fucking thought” I push back into her, “You share with me, okay?”

“Okay,” she says.

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