Page 85 of Pain and Possession

"A lot can happen in thirty seconds. How the fuck are you even considering this?" Noè's voice raises slightly making me grab his hand on my side pulling it tighter around me. His thumb makes small quick circles on the back of my hand. His nerves seeping into my skin. He's being thrust into something entirely out of his control, this is hell for him and it shows. He's been so… overbearing since I was hurt. I was too busy being aggravated by his obsessive need to control me and keep me safe that I didn't see it for what it really was.

He's afraid. Afraid of losing me. Losing his family.

My heart aches as those cold hazel eyes meet mine, "I'll be okay. Promise."

"You can't possibly-"

"I just did. Equals."

He bites down on his inner cheek before quickly releasing it. Pain is still largely a part of who he is. Particularly during sex but I've noticed over the past weeks he's relied on it less and less outside of that. Instead, he seeks out my touch when he feels things slipping from his control. A healthy-minded, unfucked person would see that for the unhealthy thing that it is. He's using me as a coping mechanism. A crutch, becoming dependent on me for his moments of solace. I wish I could say I didn't love it.

"We're running out of time." Hock warns, his face staying calculated as to not alarm anyone around us, the hint of a smile at his lips. Noè lets go of my waist and his absence is felt immediately. But only for a moment. Noè turns holding out his hand before moving away from his friend.

"Dance with me?"

Chapter twenty-one

Equals

Phantom of the Opera written by Andrew Lloyd Webber Performed by the Laclede Quartet

Iwatchcarefullyasthe band starts a new song; their eyes focused on the task at hand. Playing beautiful, unfamiliar music. Instrumentals with building crescendos and dramatic flare, seems perfect for a moment like this. We make it to the middle of the ballroom floor, my feet ache from the heels Charlotte forced me into tonight. Noè gently and slowly lifts the hand in his, letting his palm glide gracefully up the length of my arm. Leaving goosebumps in his wake. His lips brush mine as he pulls us into a turn.

"I've never really danced like this before." I admit, my cheeks heating. Everyone here is rich, beautiful and refined. In their element. I frown, irritated at the nagging sense of inadequacy.

"Follow my lead little doll."

I nod as he spins us effortlessly across the dance floor, a smile edging onto his handsome face. His tan skin pressed as tightly as it can against me while still allowing movement. I inhale the smell of him deeply, letting it drown me in Noè.

"You're doing beautifully."

I meet his eyes, shining with enough pride to force my heavy beating heart from my chest. "This dance may have an ulterior purpose but make no mistake Olive Arcuri I perform solely for you." I smile up at him, letting him see every ounce of me. How much those pretty words mean, "I love you."

His smile matches mine and just like the stereotypical Hallmark moment the surrounding room fades, "I love you too. Be safe for me.”

"Always."

The music continues as we spin, my head feeling light. Cruising comfortably on cloud nine as he pulls me in tighter, his warm lips capturing mine. This man, this horrible venomous man is beautiful. He's beautiful and he's everything I want. There is no depth I won't sink to, no line I'm unwilling to cross to remain the only selfish girl that stands in his arms. To watch him grow and grow beside him.

To have his child.

"She's here. Left exit."

My body tenses as he gives me a gentle squeeze, kissing me again deeply. We spin again allowing me the perfect glance. One I wish I hadn't gotten. A glance that snapped the thread inside me, a thread that had been pulled too tight for too long. Her pencil straight platinum blonde hair is tied back, arranged beautifully. The wedding white floor-length gown has pleats around the bodice making it gather and cling to her in all the right places. Her dress tonight was every bit as intentional as mine.

For him.

She never planned to stay out of sight,thiswas her plan. We never had to draw her out she was coming either way. To show him what he's missing, remind him of the mistake he made when he rejected her time and time again.

For me.

I let go of his hand and shoulder, letting my palms trail up his neck. Lingering on his cheeks as I pull him into me, slipping my eager tongue past his lips. I devour him, because he'smine. He groans as I dig my nails into his shoulders, giving him what he needs the way only I can. Visions of her drenched in crimson, that beautiful white gown ruined the way she tried to ruin me send heat rushing to my core. She took so much from me; she took someone I loved. I watch as her pretty painted face twists into an ugly scowl, retreating into the dark like the demonic cunt she is. I break the kiss, his heated eyes meeting mine.

"Go." I whisper before shoving hard at his chest once, then again for good measure. A moment of confusion flutters across his face before the smallest of smirks. He scoffs, dusting off his jacket as though I've sullied it with my touch, "Find your own way home."

"Yeah, no problem. Go get your whore, think I didn’t notice your gawking asshole?" I spit back at him a little too loud before turning. Using all the heartache and frustration that is buried deep in my chest. Letting all the pain she's caused to flood to the front of my mind, forcing tears to my eyes. I plant myself at a table towards the back as Hock slips out of the side of the ballroom. My eyes scan the crowd as I play with the tablecloth absent-mindedly.

Now where's my knight in shining armor?

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