Page 73 of Pain and Possession

What?

I step closer my heart drilling in my chest so fucking hard it's feels like it's trying to crash through. An ultrasound? Another nurse steps towards me putting his hand on my chest, "The best thing you can do for them is wait outside."

For them?

"She's pregnant? Marcus!" I bellow, vomit burning my throat.

Please. Please…

A rapid alarm sounds on one of the machines hooked to her and everyone in the room turns frantic, tears spill from my eyes, and everyone speaks all at once.

"Get me the crash cart now!"

No.

Please don't do this.

Don't leave.

I'm sorry.

I force my eyes away the moment they place the paddles on her chest, unable to watch her body lurch violently off the bed. I bite into my cheek as hard as I can. Blood immediately releasing into my mouth, but it doesn't help. It doesn't even touch the panic I feel. The beeping stabilizes as I jerk the gun from my waistband, the gun that just took many lives in her honor. Everyone in the room gives me a panicked glance before resuming working on her neck as I place it snug against the back of Marcus's head, "Is she pregnant?"

He takes a deep breath, barely glancing at me, "Yes."

"Did she know?"

He hesitates, "Yes, she wanted to tell you herself."

I push the gun in harder my hands trembling, "If they die, you die."

I watch as he pulls a strange-looking needle through the skin on her throat, making my stomach twist in agony. I've dismembered living and dead people, tortured, and beheaded. I've seen wounds like this and inflicted many myself and never has it made me feel this way.

I can't lose her.

"Noè, we've known each other a long time. I'm going to do my best, but I can't do that with a gun pressed to my skull. Calm yourself." I swallow hard as I lower the gun, backing up until my back hits the wall behind me. I wipe the tears from my eyes as I holster the gun, my breathing as ragged and unsteady as I feel. Something akin to a sob escaping from my throat.

They are going to pay for this. All of them.

Forty-eight Hours Later

I jerk up from where my head was lying on the hospital bed beside her as the door opens. My hand clenches around the handle of my gun, despite knowing my men surround the room and hospital. I half expect to see Hock, yet again urging me to come back to the compound. To give them some direction.

I can't. I can't make myself do it.

To think about anything that's not her seems like a disservice. I release the gun when my mom’s small timid frame steps through, another flood of unease filling me.

"What's going on?"

She pauses her eyes glued to Olive, "Hock sent me, and Charlotte went shopping for Olive. Said she'll want something cute to change into for the ride back to the compound." She chuckles uncomfortably, her hands trembling as she reaches for me pulling my head tightly against her. I inhale, willing her hold and the way she combs through my dirty hair to calm something in me.

It doesn't. Never has.

"They couldn't have sent someone that wasn't afraid to leave the house?" I mumble, knowing she at least has a sense of humor about it.

"They told me you won't come home. Won't speak to anyone. The compound is tense with no head after something like this. People are talking about breaking off, going after the Riviera family in retaliation. Hock caught two of your men sneaking out on their way there, a young one named Kurt was leading them." I don't respond to her, I don't suppose she expects me to. She didn’t ask me anything, but it feels like it all the same. I can't leave them; I left her once and this happened. I nearly lost them both. Even now I know it’s nothing short of a miracle I'm not sobbing over a corpse.

"An act of aggression like that would be your downfall. There's still so much to lose son, you have a duty to protect your family." I know it takes a lot for her to speak on this aspect of her life, after she's done so much to remove herself from it all. Normally I would be touched, shocked even that she's here pleading for the family. Showing me affection when all I am is a representation ofhim.His perfect soldier son, one he raped her repeatedlyto create. My mere presence threatens her ever wavering sanity and that breaks her heart. Once upon a time I think it broke mine too.

---