Page 63 of Pain and Possession

No amount of pain could make that okay. No wound deep enough to purge her from underneath my skin.

"Have you forgotten all those years before he died? The hollow look in your mother's eyes?"

I snap my head towards her, meeting her fiery gaze. Fighting to keep my voice low, "How could you ask me that?"

She walks over to us, her eyes never leaving mine as I clench my jaw tightly, "How could you take her choice from her? You are a better man than him Noè Alessandro Arcuri. She cannot ever choose you if you don't give her the opportunity to do so."

With that I deflate, nodding as she heads back to the door. She's right and I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it and it goes against everything inside of me. Every part of me thathebuilt. Nona pauses in the door, her eyes dark and downcast, "One last chance at peace between us. Offer Camilla's pig of Uncle an olive branch he can't refuse and when he does refuse it be ready for war."

"I've always been ready." I state, the finality in my voice forces her eyes to mine.

"I both admire and pity you for that.Sheloves you Noè. Have faith in her and get some sleep. We all need it."

"Yes ma'am."

Noè Age Eight

Father's hot breath hits my ear, I fight against the urge to jerk away from him. His breath smells like bourbon and cigars, his aftershave still pronounced despite it being late into the night.

"Your hesitation is a weakness. A weakness your enemy will exploit, a danger to the family. A family head must never be weak."

The man tied to the table before me blubbers again, his eyes look crazy and I really, really don't want to go anywhere near him. Father said this is important, a rite of passage. I'll become a man worthy of the Arcuri name. Of his name. I step towards him onto the small stool father's men brought over for me. Taking a breath and trying not to be irritated that I need one. I'm the shortest kid in my class, even Camilla is taller than me. She constantly teases me about it.

"Are you a man Noè or did you take more after your mother?" He spits, making the nude man strapped to the table thrash hard against the rope. His body already covered in cuts and bruises.

"I'm a man." I try to make my voice deeper, as deep as I can while I lift the knife. The first time I bring it down it barely goes in, just the tip of the blade actually pierces him. He thrashes and cries out all the same.

I wonder how bad that hurt?

My father claps his hands together loudly, but I don't dare flinch, "Harder!"

I swing the blade down again and again and again each time my father and his men holler and applaud louder. My heart is racing in my chest, my stomach feels wrong as my hand slips down the blade slicing my palm open. I stare as my blood leaks from my skin, mixing with his.

"That's alright Noè, I'm proud of you! Let's go get some drinks gentlemen, tonight is a big one." My uncles hand finds my back making me flinch, Grease stares down at my hand nodding.

"Let's get you cleaned up kid, that looks like a good one. Nona is going to throttle us." He gives me a weak smile, but his eyes look troubled, the same as Uncle James. Unlike the pride that was shining in my father's and the other men still yelling in the basement. I clench my fist repeatedly, making the pain flare up as the opened-up splay of skin flexes. I don't know why I keep doing it, just that every time I do my stomach slowly unknots itself. The blood spills down my hand, and I feel lighter than ever.

Olive

I run my finger along the faded scar on the inside of Noè's palm for the hundredth time since they brought us into the small florescent lit exam room. The blood in my eye is already fading. Despite my best efforts including some impromptu mouth fucking he still insisted I come to the appointment and that he accompanies me. I'm still deeply annoyed he left me last night especially considering he's beendistantthis morning. As if he keeps trying to work through something in his mind that I'm not party to. I guess that makes both of us, I've given myself until the end of the day to make my decision. If I'm in or out, not that I think I really have a choice.

Or actually want one for that matter.

Even now what's between us is fucking electrifying. I watch from underneath my eyelashes as his jaw clenches, his deep hazel eyes look… worried. "Olive, I need-“

He's cut off by the door swinging open. A young nurse dressed in baby pink scrubs stepping through in a hurry, "Sorry for the wait Mr. Arcuri, Dr. Nelson will be in shortly." My eyes don't leave Noè, he looks grateful for the interruption. Whatever is up with him he needs to knock it the fuck off, he's making me anxious. I didn't need to be filled in to know bitchface Camilla was probably behind what happened at my apartment. Although there's no evidence, plausible deniability can only go so far. He's hiding something, but still didn't ask me to step out this morning when they discussed it in vague terms. I ignored his protest and opted to excuse myself finding my way down to Buffy and Kurt in the kitchen having a snack before their shift ended.

"Miss there's a gown behind you, we'll need you down to your underwear please. You are well overdue for a breast examination." I nearly snicker when Noè goes rigid.

"I'll get your vitals before you start."

I nod, my amusement with him overriding my discomfort. The last time I was at a hospital I was getting a drug test done after a man tried to slip Lane and I GHB, it had worked but thankfully another woman pulled us out of the house party before anything could happen. A sick feeling takes over as my palms start to sweat, wondering exactly how much they can see in my file.

If there’s anything in there about… back then.

The nurse doesn't miss a beat as she takes my hand eyeing the bracelet on my wrist while placing the finger thing on that I don't begin to know the name of. She meets my eyes briefly before speaking Noè's arm snaking its way around my waist only adding to the tension in the room.

"I need to ask you some general intake questions since you're a new patient Miss-“

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