Page 46 of Pain and Possession

She pulls back as I hand her the sponge, turning to leave the shower. Her small hand grips my bicep, my family crest dangling from her wrist, "Stay."

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face, only widening when she rolls her eyes at me. I would do anything to keep things this way. I meant what I said little doll.

I am so fucking in love with you.

Chapter ten

Stupid Ugly Girl

Olive

I don't think as I crawl into the cold silk sheets on his bed. Between the groggy state of my mind and the exhaustion set deep in my bones I'm helpless beside him, helpless against him in this state. Even I know what just happened was… profound. In the most horrifying way possible when you're tied up with a man like Noè Arcuri. God help me I feel safe laying here wrapped in his arms, the faint thump of his heart beating beneath my head. My eyes grow half as heavy as my heart as I lightly run my fingers over the raised planes of his chest, avoiding the fresh cut there. Listening to his breath become steadier, further apart as he drifts off.

Will you dream about me? Or what chaos you can inflict on the world? Maybe both.

This… feeling of familiarity can't stay. I can't stay here with him; my father gave his life and the life of his wife to stop a stupid moment of violence. Here I am, wrapped in the arms of violence incarnate, it doesn't matter how it made me feel to see the man responsible for the origin of my sob story dead tonight. The adrenaline and vindication I felt after seeing his battered corpse tunneled through my veins set off every alarm bell inside me. It's the only proof I needed to know that… that need for violence lives in me too. Thatheforces it from the pores of my skin until I'm dripping in it. My reaction to what he did at the club is alarming all on its own.

I need to get far away from Noè Arcuri. If that means leaving this place… everything I've ever known, then so be it. I owe them and myself that.

I startle awake as Noè jostles in his sleep, turning the opposite direction of me and taking the covers with him. The cool air in his bedroom feels colder now that the clammy parts of me that were pressed against him are exposed.

Buzz, Buzz!

I still, staring in the direction of his phone as the screen lights from the table. The overwhelming urge to see who would text him at 4am pushes me from the bed. I know I shouldn't, I know this is wrong.

You know you shouldn't even care.

The silver band dangles from my small wrist as I quietly round the bed, the name on the screen sending a wave of nausea over me.

Camilla.

I peek at Noè, his sculpted face buried in his pillow, his muscular arms tucked underneath it. My heart drums uncomfortably in my chest and my free hand unconsciously goes to it as if I could hold it in place. I don't think as I reach out, double tapping the notification. Honestly I’m a little shocked there's no password on his phone.

Most people probably aren't stupid enough to go through it.

The picture that pulls up on the screen seconds later makes that wave of nausea double down as my heart plummets to the floor, an enormous set of perfectly formed tits staring me in the face. It's the caption though that has me gripping my stomach half as tightly as my heart.

Camilla: It was nice seeing you tonight Noè. Don't be a stranger. ;)

I quickly lock the screen, desperately wishing I could erase the last minute from my mind. You had business, huh? Business withher.I'm so fucking stupid, all the tenderness you showed me tonight. It's a game to him… all of it. I'm another rat in his maze.

Stupid, ugly, girl.

I fight the urge to run into the bathroom and scrub his soul binding touch from my skin. Just the way I used to with Brandon. I'd scrub so fucking hard my skin would be painful to the touch. Why does this feel worse? Why does this hurt worse than that?

He said he loved me…

That's why. Because I'm pathetic and I need so badly to be loved by someone. Anyone. Even mafia trash like Noè Arcuri. I can't help the scoff that leaves my mouth as I stare at him. Any ounce of feeling I had mustered for him, evaporating in the air around me.

You're a fucking liar Olive.

I quickly turn, heading from the room not bothering to put on anything aside from the t-shirt and boxers he dressed me in. I don't fucking care what I'm wearing I need to leave, now. I don't bother being quiet as I grab my bag from the floor jerking it high on my shoulder, my heart hammering in my chest now that I've retrieved it from the polished floors of his house. Although this time it's not my stupid pathetic need for love that's causing it, or the fear of Noè, it'sher.It's… what? Jealousy?

Hate? Feeling possessive over a man I don’t even like.

"House, volume down." I whisper putting my mouth close to the control panel. If he catches me trying to sneak out. I'm fucked, so fucked. I breathe a short-lived sigh of relief as the system responds with a quiet beep.

"House, disarm garage door."

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