Page 27 of Wicked Love
The second the words had burst from my mouth, shame prickled under my skin. My best friend hadn’t deserved my anger.Hehadn’t done anything wrong.
But Slade wasn’t easily fazed. Maybe he could tell I hadn’t really meant the criticism. “I don’t know shit about what’s coming,” he agreed easily. “But I know us. I know we won’t back down until we’ve figured everything out and destroyed the threat. It’s as simple as that.”
He slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed out of the apartment. I watched him go, my stomach knotting. I couldn’t get my assignments done, I couldn’t talk to my friends like an actual friend… I had to get a grip, or I’d become a liability rather than any kind of hero.
I shoved the gun back into my jeans and flopped down on the sofa. I couldn’t do anything about the assholes we were up against right now, so I might as well at least get this assignment off my plate. Surely I could locate one little error.
I’d barely had a chance to try when the doorknob clicked over. Maddie eased inside and shot me a warm smile as she closed the door behind her.
Relief flooded me at the sight of her. Her blond hair and sweater-and-jeans combo were unrumpled, her face bright. She’d gone off to do some kind of reconnaissance with Beckett against my muttered objections, but she hadn’t come back any worse for it. If anything, she was in a better mood than she’d been in when she left.
Which probably shouldn’t have irritated me as much as it did.
“Did you have a good time with the mob boss?” I couldn’t help asking, even as I winced inwardly at the snark in my tone.
Maddie simply rolled her eyes at me, which was about what I deserved. “The point wasn’t to have a good time. I think we made some progress. He acted like he had a lead, but he didn’t want to tell me about it until he’d confirmed his suspicions.” She paused, her gaze going momentarily distant with a crease in her brow, and then smiled again. “And I got to do an errand I’ve been looking forward to. I have something for you.”
I blinked at her, thrown off course enough that I forgot my annoyance over Beckett. “For me? You didn’t need to get me anything.” A small pang resonated through my chest at the thought of her going out of her way to do something for me when she had so much else weighing on her.
“I know I didn’tneedto. I wanted to.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a purple plastic bag. “I realize it can’t make up for what you lost, not completely, but at least you can use them the same way.”
She held out the bag to me. I took it and dipped my hand inside, registering the shape and size of the object with a tingle of recognition before I pulled it out. Then I just stared.
It was a deck of cards—of tarot cards. And not just any deck, but the exact same design I’d gazed at a thousand times on the back of Mom’s old deck. The one that’d burned up in the library office fire.
My throat constricted. Maddie had been right, of course. They couldn’t totally replace that old, familiar deck. They didn’t have the worn corners where Mom’s fingers and then mine had moved over them or the shiny star sticker on the bottom of the box that she’d let me stick there when I’d been a little kid. But they brought back so many of the same memories. It was almost as good.
The pang in my heart expanded into an ache that spread from the base of my throat to my gut. The sensation was bittersweet. There was grief at the thought of all the time I hadn’t gotten with my mom and the connection to her I’d lost with the original deck, but also a swell of gratitude and affection toward the girl who’d gone out of her way to try to mend that loss the only way she could think of.
And it’d been a pretty great attempt. No one could have done better. Maddie had wanted to do this for me—had considered my pain that thoroughly despite everything she was dealing with.
I got to my feet and wrapped my arms around her, tugging her into the tightest of hugs. The floral scent of her shampoo filled my nose as I bowed my head next to hers. “Thank you. So much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Maddie squeezed me back. “I can imagine. I just—I don’t want to let them win. I don’t want them to take anything more from us.”
How the hell had I ever let myself push this amazing woman away? But as I held her close, an image rose up in the back of my mind of her leaning intoBeckett’sembrace instead—welcoming his touch, offering him affection. My body tensed up before I realized what was happening.
I pulled back, peering into her eyes. My voice came out taut. “How can someone who’s as good a person as you be okay with what Beckett’s admitted to? How can you even stand to be around him?”
A shadow crossed Maddie’s face. She took a step away from me, the corners of her mouth pulling down. “Are you serious right now?”
I grimaced. “What? It’s true. He’s a fucking career criminal, and you—"
“Stop it!” Maddie interrupted, jabbing her finger at me. “Just stop it. All I wanted was to do something nice for you, and you had to turn that into another excuse to rant about Beckett? Do you hear yourself?”
I flinched. I’d just told myself I’d never push her away again, and then I’d turned around and done exactly that, if inadvertently.
“I just don’t get it,” I said stubbornly.
Maddie let out a huff, narrowing her eyes at me. “I’m still with you even though I’ve watched you break into buildings, hack into private databases to steal information—hell, you were even responsible for a murder that you covered up rather than going to the police about it! You know you did all those things—and who knows how much else that I don’t have a clue about—and you’re still a worthwhile human being. Why can’t you accept that Beckett could be too?”
I gaped at her for a second, unspoken words clogging my throat. The ones that spilled out of me weren’t anything I’d have wanted to say if I hadn’t felt as if she’d socked them right out of me.
“Idon’tthink I’m a worthy human being.”
The second the admission was out, I longed to take it back. Maddie froze, staring at me.
“What do you mean?” she asked in a quiet voice.
