Page 52 of The Heart of a Villain

Even my first word was Dad, not Mom.

I cry harder, my throat becoming sore from my whimpers as memories assault me, showing me a kaleidoscope of my short life in snapping moments.

And at the core of it all is my deep love for my dad despite everything, but what does it make me then?

I can’t hate him, even if he is a monster.

My soul is torn in two, emotional and rational sides yelling at me to make a choice and settle on something before madness consumes me and sends me down an abyss I won’t be able to survive.

My world shattered; my safety and everything I knew… was a fragment of my imagination. An illusion, as if my whole life I lived in a snow globe, and Rush was the one to shake it before dropping it on the floor, destroying it.

And in this—me.

That’s when I see him standing several feet away, an indifferent expression on his face, and such strong rage hits me I can taste it on my tongue.

“Aileen—”

“Are you enjoying this?” I scream, getting up while furiously wiping away the tears still falling. “Was this what you wanted?” I grab the laptop and shake it. “For me to see this?” I send it flying to the floor, the thing breaking instantly as the pieces scatter around my feet. “Congratulations! You’ve achieved what you wanted.”

He takes a step toward me. “Aileen—”

Wiping away the tears once again, I slam my fist into my chest. “You killed me. You destroyed me. Why did you do that, Rush?” I know everything I say makes no sense, but the pain blankets anything else, letting my emotions rule me. “Why did you hurt me?” I lunge at him, hitting him wherever my fist gets access, while he stands still, not doing anything to stop me, which only fuels my punches with more anger. “Why did you do this to me? I hate you. I hate you! You might as well have killed my dad!” I scream in his face the last part, and then it dawns on me what I said.

Because that’s true, right?

Dad, as I knew him, is no more.

No matter what happens next, I will never be able to forget this truth or see him in the same light I did before.

Fisting his T-shirt, I sob into his chest, crying out, “Why did you take away my dad from me?” I tilt my head, despising to see the anguish in his eyes that he quickly covers up because his remorse means nothing right now. “Is it so easy?” I pull at his shirt, needing something to ground me in the present, or I might collapse from all this weight on my shoulders. “Is it so easy to hurt me?”

It’s incredibly selfish to think I would have preferred to never see any of this or know about my father’s deeds. However, for once, I’d like to be selfish and wipe away my memories.

After all, knowledge can hurt you as well.

“Aileen—”

“You took away my dad,” I whisper, my heart aching so much I sway a little in his hold, and he catches me while I press my cheek to his chest, his heartbeat lulling me. “You took away my hero. I will never forgive you for this.”

My breathing becomes more even as strength leaves me bit by bit, while strong arms surround me, holding me up while my head becomes dizzy, oblivion calling my name in the distance.

And I welcome it, running straight to it, for it can give me solace from the suffering and pain.

“I love you, princess,” Dad says, spinning me around and hugging me close. “Never forget that.”

“I love you too, Daddy!”

I hope he never doubts my love because nothing can stop it.

“Aileen.”

That’s all I manage to hear before darkness consumes me and all the thoughts stop.

Finally.

Rush

Aileen’s body goes limp in my hold, exhaustion overtaking her from all the screaming and crying along with shock that must have kicked her adrenaline into gear before it plummeted.

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