Page 47 of The Heart of a Villain

“Shhh, Lavender.”

“Maybe if Mama was alive, he wouldn’t do this to me.”

My brows furrow at such clear speech in her still raspy voice, and she clenches her drawings, tears falling on them and smearing the purple color.

“Because then she’d be there for him to admire.”

I glance down to see her rub her scarred cheek up and down, her fingers digging into the puckered skin.

“I wouldn’t have had to do this.” Her maniacal laughter chills my bones while I restrain myself from pushing back from her as the sound washes over me, freezing me with its hollowness. “Mama betrayed me. Like they all did.” She leans back, and our gazes clash when she studies me. “You’re pretty but not blond. He won’t want you.” She pats my thigh, and I hiss when her nails sink into my flesh, so deep I think she might break the skin. “Be careful, though. Monster doesn’t understand the word no.”

While the advice is absolutely horrible, as it makes me go to a very dark place, something feels off to me as I look at her.

Especially at the intelligence in her gaze and the almost cunning expression on her face that she quickly masks with a smile, humming something under her breath before resuming her drawing.

A horrible realization dances on the edges of my mind, pulling it in a different direction as the picture becomes clear in my head, but I refuse to believe it.

For if I do, it means I’m in more trouble than I ever anticipated.

Diary. I have to find the diary—to either confirm my suspicions or come up with a plan that might help me while my father is on the way.

And considering it’s already been almost two days since I called him, my time is running out. I cannot have him step on this island with a bounty over his head.

My feelings toward Rush are confusing, stupid, and dangerous, yet they cannot be helped, so I do not wish for them both to be harmed due to a lie.

Which just means I’m as bad as they all are, for who wants to save their own captor?

Enough. Focus on the task.

I loosen my hold around Lavender and start to get up, but she grips my shirt, pulling me back down. “No. Stay,” she orders, glaring at me.

“I have to go. I need to… do something.” Like explore the house while Rush and his uncle are otherwise preoccupied, to search for the diary. “I will be back soon, though.”

“No!” she screams, fisting my T-shirt harder, her breaths speeding up while the pulse beats wildly in her neck, indicating a swift change of mood while she frowns at me. “Stay!”

Gently placing my hands on hers, I squeeze them, hopefully grounding her in the present moment and not letting whatever demons are eating at her to overwhelm her and possibly attack me for going against her will. “Lavender, calm down, please.” I inhale through my nose and exhale, her eyes hectically moving over my face, and I repeat the action. “Just do what I do.” On my third inhale, she follows suit and does the action several more times, the tension slowly easing from her body. “I’ll go now to search for something, but I’ll be back.”

“No!” Before I can even blink, her hands wrap tightly around my neck, choking me so hard she instantly cuts off my oxygen supply. “Why aren’t you listening!” she yells, shaking me while I slap at her hands, trying to free myself from her grip. “He will come. He will! I will not stay here alone!” she chants crazily, her thumbs pressing under my chin so precisely that pain ricochets all over my system.

Finally, I push her away and slap her hard across the face, stilling her as she looks at me in confusion and then at her hands, stunned.

I rub my neck, gulping for breath while my throat aches so badly I feel the need to drink something.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, covering her mouth as tears fill her eyes. “I’m so sorry!” She reaches out to me, but I scoot back, coughing some more.

That’s when Jesse flies inside the room and gasps, “Oh no.” She drops to her knees next to me. “Are you all right?”

Lavender sobs. “I hurt her. Sedative, Jesse. Now! Sedative!”

Despite the throbbing in my throat, I don’t miss the urgency and eagerness in her tone, while just two days ago, she begged Rush not to inject anything into her.

Back then, I thought it was their usual modus operandi with her, but in light of all this…. “How often is she sedated?” I croak, and Jesse’s brows furrow. “How often does she have these episodes?”

“Umm… once a year?” My eyes widen at this information. “Sometimes more. Usually when Jade comes, as he awakens her memories.”

“Memories?”

Lavender starts to rock, wrapping her arms around her knees as she watches us while silently crying. She mumbles only one thing, over and over again. “Sedative. Sedative. Sedative.”

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