Page 116 of The Heart of a Villain

Yes, all evilness was done by Jade, but Rush believed him instead of my father. Half of the shit could have been avoided if he trusted Dad, but then I can’t fault him for that.

“Do you know the truth now?” I mean he might have seen Jade almost kill me and spit all the bullshit, but did he hear him admitting to killing his father? “That the sadistic man from your childhood…”

“Was my uncle and not my father?” He finishes for me and nods. “Yes. And believe me, that truth shook me like nothing else would. If Lachlan hadn’t killed him, I would again. Or rather kept him in the dungeon for eternity.” Anger coats his voice while he squeezes the rose so hard, it bends a little. “I hate that he got off so easy.”

Temporarily forgetting about my anger, I long to soothe the inferno burning his soul from not getting the opportunity to avenge his parents. “Some people are so evil everyone just sleeps better when they are dead.”

“Yeah, I think for Lavender it’s true. Not so much for me and Rafael. We crave vengeance we won’t ever get.” He looks to the side and then back at me. “That’s the price for revenge, though. Embarking on it, you have to be prepared to lose something too. Because if hate fuels your actions, it destroys you too, not only your enemy.”

Quite poetic look on the situation indeed. I guess that’s his punishment for his misguided anger.

To forever live with such knowledge.

“What changed now?” I shift the conversation back to us because softness doesn’t belong between us anymore. “I’m still my father’s daughter.”

Rush extends his hand to me with a rose and despite wanting to just throw it in his face, I snatch it and hold it to my chest. The beautiful flower doesn’t deserve my cruelty. “Yeah, you are. But you’re also mine and I’m done standing on the sideline, watching mine from afar. Turns out I’m selfish and greedy for you.” A beat passes. “I’m willing to do everything to be with you now, consequences and guilt be damned.”

“Oh, are you?” My hallow laughter rocks off the walls. “And I guess since you made up your mind, you just expect me to follow with it?” He stays silent, but that’s answer in itself. “I can’t belie—” I pinch my nose, taking a deep breath into my lungs and praying to find calmness in all this situation to emerge gracefully from it.

He abandoned me for three months after making me fall in love with him and now expects me to welcome him back in my life as if nothing happened. No, not even that.

He expects me to choose him over my family, a man who never gave me a single reason to trust him.

And he wants me to trust him now?

I might be naive and inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but even I know that it requires more work and better treatment than the one I’ve gotten so far.

“I grew up with protective, fierce, and loving men who would do anything for the women they consider theirs.” The muscle on his cheek twitches. “Men who would never stay away from their women for their own good.” It might sound horrible all things considered, but all my uncles are obsessed with their wives. I can’t imagine them having the willpower to do what Rush did and Rush is like them to a dot.

Which means how strong could his feelings have been if he managed to be distant?

Granted he never professed his love. However, he declared me as his. And for men like him that’s as good as a love confession.

“You and I are different.”

“Different how, Rush?”

He takes a step toward me, his breath fanning my cheeks as his masculine, earthy scent teases my nose and my heartbeat speeds up in my chest. I’m afraid he might hear it. “You are a product of love who grew up in love and who knows love in abundance.”

My brows furrow, not getting his meaning.

“A daughter of a man who raised and saved me once upon a time. And without my anger to excuse my behavior, there was nothing but guilt and the sense of failing him that was left. Your father won’t approve this and I should stay away.” He leans closer, our mouths inches apart. “But I can’t. Doing that is going against my nature.” He places his hand on my cheek, my skin burning from the contact while he tips my head back, remorse along with need shining in his orbs that speaks to the parts of me that longed for him all this time. “Forgive me,” he whispers, his lips brushing mine, and I close my eyes, soaking in this moment for a second, wishing nothing more but to believe him.

See it through his eyes and understand his reasoning. Forget about the outside world and focus only on the man who consumes my every thought.

But I spent months, one of the most difficult months in my life, all alone.

Yes, I know he was close by how I constantly had food deliveries to the hospital, my favorite tea, or whenever I voiced a wish somehow it ended up being done in seconds.

When someone bothered me or had been rude on the streets, how they’d magically find my number and apologize for their wrongdoings.

He was near without showing himself, but that’s not what I needed from him.

I needed him next to me, acknowledging our relationship out in the open and showing me that all this pain hasn’t been for nothing.

Instead, he once again chose my father.

How do I forgive that?

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