Page 63 of Count Down

The dance ends. Ivan and Anna in a tight embrace on center stage under the spotlight.

The roar of the crowd feels like it wakes me from a daydream. Lexi squeezes me and squeals. My heart is racing, like it’s surprised I’ve survived.

Ivan and Anna take their bows as the audience continues, as loud as ever. Daniel and Anthony join them on stage. I hear whistles and cheers and I can’t help but grin along with them.

The dancers bow again, and then Anna steps forward and waves toward Lexi and I, beckoning someone on stage. I glance at Lexi, who shoves me from behind. “Get out there!”

My feet feel heavy, my legs weak. It feels like it takes me ten minutes to get out from the wings into the blinding lights. I keep my hands down, resisting the temptation to shield my eyes. Anna grabs my hand and takes me to center stage.

She raises my hand in hers and leads us in a bow to the audience. As I stand back up, I can see the audience in the parquet, past the orchestra pit. They’re standing and applauding.

Then I see him. Luca. He’s there in the crowd. I see pride in his face, and it hits me hard. I knew I wanted him here. I’m relieved to see that he’s okay. I’m excited that he saw my piece. But I didn’t realize how much it would mean for someone I love to be proud of me.

My throat tightens and I blink back the tears in my eyes. I bring my hand to my lips and blow Luca a kiss. I can see the glisten in his eye, and he wipes it quickly before he continues vigorously applauding.

We bow one last time and the curtain lowers in front of us. The lights come on behind the curtain and I’m grabbed by Anna, Daniel, Anthony, and Ivan as they all celebrate in a group hug.

“That felt amazing!”

“They loved it!”

“When can we do it again?!”

“You were all so amazing. I couldn’t have had a better cast,” I tell them. “Thank you so, so much.” I hug and thank each of them individually.

As I leave the stage and head back to the dressing rooms with Lexi, someone intercepts us. It’s Alvaro Perez, the Artistic Director. “Gina!” He hugs me. “That was amazing. And not just for a debut choreography.”

“Thank you,” I smile back at him. This almost feels unreal. Never in a million years would I have expected this reaction from him.

“Let’s talk about next year. I’m sure we can find some more opportunities for you to choreograph again.”

“I’d love that.”

“Let’s get coffee next week.” Alvaro hugs me again.

I’m still standing there stunned when Lexi squeezes me tight once more. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you. So much,” I tell her. “For everything.” She grins back at me. “And I saw Luca in the audience!”

“OH THANK GOD!” Lexi yells, louder than she probably meant.

We head back to the dressing rooms to pack up and go meet Luca.

45

LUCA

I’ve imaginedwhat it would be like to see a performance that moves you so deeply. It gets romanticized so much that I’ve wondered if it ever really happens. Is it even possible to be so moved by a piece of art that you’re unable to control your emotions and your whole life is changed by it?

I thought that, at best, it might make you think, even after it’s over. Or you might find little details that catch your attention. Most of the time, I think we are just hoping to be entertained for a minute.

Gina’s piece took control of me. I saw her in it. I felt emotions I know she’s felt but never fully expressed or shared. It’s hard to say how I would have reacted to the piece if I didn’t know Gina. Judging by the audience’s reaction, I would have still loved it. But the rest of the audience doesn’t know Gina as well as I do. They aren’t able to see the same things I saw because in a way, it’s my story, too.

I know Gina’s broken out from under her father. From under Archie. But watching the first half of the dance made me really see what would have happened if she didn’t.

My breathing got tense and shallow. I felt so many emotions I couldn’t even begin to control them. Fear for what would have happened if Gina didn’t break away from the toxic men in her life. Anger knowing that I’ll never be able to truly make them pay for it. Frustration that the world accepts, even rewards the men who keep women like Gina from being who she is. Confusion. Confusion because while I can fight the men that come after her, how do I fight the world that doesn’t give her the respect she deserves?

Then it shifted. The female dancer broke free and began to dance on her own. I wanted to save and protect Gina. And the dancer. From those controlling and putting her down. But she can do it herself. Shehasto do it herself, and the pride that I feel knowing that she did it, that she’s free… so free that she wouldn’t let me decide her path in our relationship either.

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