Page 18 of Trust and Obey

“So,” I said after I judged we had both blunted the edge of hunger, “do you have any requests for the rest of today?”

He seemed to consider it. “Would it be cruel to ask you for a massage?”

Putting down the fork, I beamed and flexed my hands at him. “Honey, these fingers are used to working from sun-up to sun-down. It’s my legs that are tired. Not my hands.”

“Then maybe that. Or…” He trailed off.

I cocked my head, intrigued. “Yes?”

He gazed across the table at me and then dropped his gaze. “Nothing. Maybe I’ll just go for a walk. Clear my head.”

I felt a brief pang of sympathy and wondered if he had received bad news from the mainland. Or maybe the weight of his divorce was eating at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head quickly. Then he seemed to reconsider. “Actually, there is something I have been meaning to ask you.”

My heart rate picked up speed again. “Yes?”

He glanced behind his shoulder back to the bedroom. “When you, ah, tripped. You seemed a little loopy.”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“Yes, I know.” His gorgeous smile helped set me at ease. “You mentioned that no one had taken care of you before. That you’d had thoughtless boyfriends.”

I raised my eyebrows. Was this an unsubtle way for him to ask if I was gay? Because seriously, most people got it at first look. “A few of them were jerks, yes,” I said neutrally.

His next question surprised me. “Tell me about them?”

“Oh, wow.” I set down my fork again and thought. On one hand, it was seriously none of his business. On the other… I didn’t think anyone had asked me quite like this before.

No one had ever cared.

Still, I wasn’t about to spill my sad history to just anyone, even Deacon. “Not exactly a typical request.”

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.” But his gaze was directly on me, and he held the question in his eyes.

I made myself shrug. “You’re not. There just isn’t much to tell. Most of my relationships were… before I left home.” Before my life fell apart and I ran to a distant island to save my sanity. “And I had a few flings here and there. What can I say? They were self-centered jerks, and I was better off without them.” I grinned with forced cockiness and lifted up a glass as if to toast.

He chuckled and returned the mock toast. We both drank.

“Is it… different, being with a man?” he blurted suddenly as if this had been a question he had been holding back by force. “I mean, different from being with a woman. Sexually.”

I frowned, noting the light blush staining his cheeks. Wow, he hadn’t looked this red when we were halfway up Mount Doom. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been with a woman.” I peered across the table at him and decided it was my turn to be blunt. “Why are you asking me these questions?”

His flush deepened, but his gaze didn’t leave my own for one moment. “Because I have recently become attracted to a guy for the first time.”

Oh. Ohhh.

He didn’t say it aloud, but the glint in his eyes and that cute flush spoke volumes.

Play it cool, Kendall, I scolded myself firmly because I could feel a flush rising on my own cheeks as well. This had to be huge for the poor guy. Plus—I’ll admit it—I was a little flattered. It wasn’t every day that you learned you were someone’s first.

“That’s kind of a big revelation,” I said, keeping my voice even. “Didn’t you say you were going through a divorce?”

“Yes, but this attraction isn’t because of that.” He shook his head and sighed. “She was cheating on me. Said I spent too much time in the office, but she had no problem spending my money with her lovers.”

“Tale as old as time,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. The expected pain wasn’t there, making me suspect that the love had probably been gone from that relationship for quite some time.

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