Page 39 of Trust and Obey

Instead, I said, “I have other duties to attend to, so if you need to place an order for anything, or you decide to schedule something—”

“Kendall—”

I couldn’t bear to hear it. I quickly turned away, and more or less speed walked out the door. I was halfway up the path before I remembered that I had left the food cart behind. Well, I would just retrieve it at dinner.

My heart was beating fast, and I felt a prickle of tears behind my eyes.

I knew that this was unfair to Deacon, and seeing his misery made me feel even worse.

But it was still far, far better than the truth.

14

DEACON

I stared at the door like an idiot after Kendall walked out, utterly flummoxed by his distant behavior.

It was pretty clear to me that he hadn’t been feeling under the weather at all. Which meant that he was trying to avoid me.

Why was he acting so cold? And just as importantly, why had he come back? Reading between the lines, I guessed that his manager had stepped in, and Kendall had very reluctantly, it seemed, returned. Now he was all business.

What did I do wrong? I thought, racking my brain. As far as I knew, everything had been fine—more than fine—between us.

Yes, Kendall had mentioned that his manager had given him grief for catching him stepping out of my villa at a late hour, but he had seemed satisfied with a solution of staying in.

Had I offended him in some way?

I was far from a perfect person, and I had been in the doghouse in other relationships before. Flowers, chocolates, and a sincere apology usually went a long way. But… in every one of those cases I had known how I had screwed up.

Whatever I had done this time, Kendall wasn’t willing to share.

It made me angry. It made me feel desperate, like there was a hook lodged inside my heart yanking it around with every desperate beat.

God, I hadn’t felt this way since… I couldn’t remember. There had been a few crazy days after I’d first discovered Lauren’s infidelity. But the emotions had been painful—like my entire life was crashing down around me.

This was different. Even on the very worst days, I had known that I didn’t want to win Lauren back. She had completely broken my trust, and that bell could not be un-rung.

Kendall didn’t break my trust. No, he was slipping away and if I didn’t act soon, I might lose him completely.

Ignoring my lunch, I crossed the room and went to the tablet. The resort provided a number of additional options for its guests, both complimentary and paid. I quickly tapped to the honeymoon section and looked over all the extras I could order for my villa. Excursions, gifts, exclusively romantic dinners… There was even a deal where you could have your bed entirely covered with rose petals, along with flutes of champagne and the bottle waiting on ice nearby.

Of course, if I ordered something like that, Kendall would have to be the one to bring it to my villa and set it up. Not so romantic.

Maybe I could ask around and find out where the employee lodging was. I could arrange something. Perhaps I could “accidentally” run into Kendall on the way back from dinner or see if I could sneak in and wait for him in his bedroom for once, or hell, stand outside with a boom box playing a love song. I don’t know…

It was with that last wild, desperate idea, that I realized that my feelings for Kendall had gone far beyond a vacation fling.

The shock of that revelation frightened me enough to clear my head.

Maybe he just wants to break up with me. End our fling for good.

It hurt like a stab straight to the heart, with none of that weird mixed relief I had felt when I finally got proof that Lauren had been cheating.

With Kendall, it was all pain and regret.

That… was not a good sign.

Slowly, reluctantly, I took a seat at the table and stared down at the salad. My appetite was completely gone. I felt empty inside.

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