Page 7 of Nick's Secret Baby
It wasn’t crazy to think that becoming a parent was never on my list of priorities. My birth parents were pretty much a shit show and although I loved my mom and dad as if they were always there, the truth was they weren’t. The anxiety that had been kept away with pills and therapy most of my life caused me to fear anything too permanent. Now I was in the most permanent situation known to man, and it was nestled in the womb of a woman that had plagued my thoughts for months.
I heard her before I saw her. The sound of her feet shuffling along the hallway had me turning in her direction. She had wrapped herself in the extra blanket I kept at the foot of my bed and looked as if she were terrified of being near me. I wasn’t used to that look from her. Most of the people who worked for me and my brothers treated me like I was going to explode at any minute, and it was for good reason. I’m definitely the hot head that they think I am. Kane once told me I was the angriest person he knew, and I took it as a compliment. People did what I asked, and that’s what I needed. I may run the company with an iron fist, but without it, we’d never be where we are today. None of that ever bothered me until this moment. Looking at Ansley standing in the middle of my hallway, scared to come into the living room, gutted me. Ansley had never been afraid of me. She never had a reason to be, but now she thought she did.
“Come sit down. I’ll get you some tea,” I said as I pointed to the couch and moved to the kitchen.
I riffled through the drawer of tea that I always kept for her and then turned over a few of the boxes to see what was actually inside them.
“Can you have tea? Now that you’re… ya know…”
“Um... yeah. I can, but decaf, please.”
“Right.”
I reached deep inside me to old calming techniques I learned as a kid. Deep breathing wasn’t something that was part of my everyday life, but I was having a really hard time not raging on the woman who was carrying my child. When the tea was done, I brought it to the living room and sat it in front of her. Normally I’d sit on the couch and pull her into my lap, but right now we both needed some space. I watched as she awkwardly reached for the tea and dropped the blanket in the process, revealing her baby bump. The sight of our child inside of her did something to me I couldn’t quite explain. A strange feeling of excitement and terror came over me as I realized I was in way over my head.
“We should talk.”
“I know. I’m sorry Nick. I really am.”
“You said that in the hospital, but you never said what you are sorry for, Ansley.”
“Everything. Getting pregnant, running from you, deciding to keep the baby on my own, putting you in this position when I don’t even know if you ever wanted kids. I mean, I’m a mess, Nick, you know that. I have nothing going for me and now I’m twenty three and pregnant. I know it’s crazy, but I love this little girl. I’ve worked my ass for the last few months to make sure I can take care of her, and I will. If you never want to see us again, then I understand. I won’t force you into anything.”
“Are you done?”
“I think so,” she said as she looked down and started picking at the frayed edge of the blanket.
I stood and paced in front of her. Sitting was making me anxious. “Ansley, the only thing you have to be sorry about is running from me. I wasn’t lying earlier when I told you that you stole so much precious time from me. You did that and I don’t know how to not be angry with you over it. As for the rest of the shit you just said, it’s utter bullshit. You may have been only my sub, but don’t pretend that we weren’t something more. Don’t pretend like you don’t know who I am.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Tears filled her eyes. When Ansley got mad, she cried. When she was sad, she cried. Now she was pumped full of a million hormones and I imagine all she had been doing was crying. But I didn’t know that because I hadn’t been there with her… for her.
“This needs to change, Ansley.”
“I know. I’m —“
I gave her a look, and she cut herself off before she apologized again. This was harder than I thought it was going to be. Something deep inside of me called to this woman like she belonged to me and yet the second things got tough, her first thought was to run. I closed the space between us and sat next to her on the couch, pulling her to me like I had wanted to do all day. She came willingly and laid her head on my chest once I had her settled in. I moved my hand to where our daughter laid and gasped when I felt her shift inside Ansley.
“Was that… ?”
“Yeah, this is her party hour. She doesn’t seem to stay still often. Reminds me of you really, always on the move, unsettled, never sitting still.”
I slid my hand under her shirt, pushing down her leggings so I could feel her skin against mine.
“She’s amazing, isn’t she?”
“She really is.”
Ansley’s hand came over mine, and I moved my gaze from her belly to her gorgeous face. Without even thinking of the consequences we were about to face, I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine. The heat that ran between us for so long was never far from the surface. It didn’t matter how many ways I tried to get Ansley out of my system, it was impossible and her lips on mine were all the proof I needed. That same fire still burned and even though everything was about to change, the familiarity of her was like a balm to my soul.
“What are we going to do?” she whispered when I pulled back.
“We are going to have a baby, Ansley, and we are going to figure all that out as we go. But one thing we aren’t going to do is run and hide. I told you a long time ago that communication was the most important part of our relationship and I need to know why you thought running from me was better than telling me you were pregnant. What did you think I was going to do?”
“My mind was a mess in the beginning. I was shocked, and I had no idea what had even happened. You know I’ve been on the pill for years but I had gotten the flu, remember? You were in Whitewood for most of it and I took some meds they had prescribed to me. They interfered with my pill, and once I had put it all together, I felt like such a fool. I didn’t want you to think I trapped you or, god forbid, think that she wasn’t yours. I was embarrassed and sick as a dog and the only thing I could think of was starting over. So I quit and then I moved in with Max.”
“How did you meet Max?”
“I knew him and his boyfriend in college. They had posted online that they were looking for a roommate and I knew I needed to save money, so I broke my lease and rented a room from them.”
