Page 12 of Nick's Secret Baby
I heard the water turn on and her moving around the bathroom. I couldn’t help the feeling of doom that consumed me. It was like she was running again, but she didn’t have anywhere to go this time. I paced in front of the door, trying to figure out my next move. If I pushed her too far, she would leave me again. I just knew it, but if I did nothing, then I’d just appear like the asshole everyone says I am. Just as I was about to turn away, I heard it. Ansley was sick.
“Ans, baby, please let me in.”
“Go away!”
Fuck that. I reached above the door frame and pulled down a skeleton key I kept there. The dumb thing barely worked, but finally I heard a click and opened the door. I panicked when I didn’t see her. The shower was running and her clothes were in a pile on the floor. It wasn’t until I turned toward the small room that had the toilet that I found her laying on the floor holding herself up as she got sick. Her face was stained with tears and she was having trouble regulating her breathing. My heart broke at the sight of it all.
Without thinking, I ran over to her and got down on my knees. I pulled her hair back with one hand and ran the other over the soft skin of her back. When it seemed the sickness had finally passed, she laid her head down on the arm she had resting on the toilet seat and looked up at me.
“Please, Nick, just leave me alone.”
“No. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what happened.”
She closed her eyes and her body shook as the emotions took over again. I pulled her to me, careful not to jostle her too much, and held her in my arms.
“Ansley, please talk to me.”
She just shook her head no and closed her eyes tighter. If I was confused about what to do before I opened the door, now I felt even worse. After a minute, she pulled herself together. If she wasn’t ready to talk, then I’d just do what I do best. I’d take care of her until she was. I scooped her up against my chest and stood, carrying her over to the vanity, and sat her on the bench in front of the mirror. She took one look at herself and the tears started back as if they had never stopped.
I turned off the shower and ran a warm bath before stripping out of my clothes. I reached for Ansley’s brush and one of her hair ties. She watched me in the mirror as I brushed out her long chestnut hair and pulled it into a messy bun on top of her head. Whenever she did it, her hair looked flawless. My version was messy, but it would still keep it dry while I had her in the bath.
“Come on, princess, let’s get you cleaned up.”
I helped her to her feet and into the oversized tub. Once we were in the warm water, I pulled her to me again, holding her tight against my body as I ran a washcloth over her face and chest.
“I wish you’d talk to me, little one. I can’t help you unless you tell me what you need.”
She let out a deep breath, and I held mine, praying she would open up to me.
“Nick… I don’t think I can do this.”
“Do what?”
“All of this. I never really had my life figured out until I got pregnant. Then I made a plan, and I was following it only for you to come back into my life and turn everything upside down again. I don’t even know who I am any more. I went from Ansley, the fun loving submissive who was there whenever you called, to this woman who has been playing house with you for a week now, and I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know if I can stay.”
My chest ached at her words. Somehow, I fucked up. I didn’t do what I had set out to do, and that was to prove to her I could be there and take care of her and our daughter.
“I won’t force you to stay with me, Ansley, but I want to know what changed between you promising me you’d never leave me and you telling me that’s the one thing you want to do.”
She pushed herself back from me and just shook her head. I watched as she reached for the soap and washcloth as she finished cleaning herself up. When she went to stand to leave, I reached for her wrist.
“Ansley, stop. Just tell me what you need.”
“I need everything, Nick... everything.”
Chapter Seven
Ansley
Nicksatonthebed dressed in nothing but a pair of dark sweatpants. He had started a fire in the fireplace that was in the corner of his room and the heat was so comforting it was killing me to keep my eyes open. I’d spent the entire time at his parents’ house fantasizing about what it would be like to be part of a family like his. I’d watched him interact with his parents and siblings, and I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him. That’s when I realized I was head over heels in love with Nick Saint and staying with a man who didn’t love me back felt like the worst kind of torture. I got myself so worked up over it I got sick and now I was still nauseous, and nearly out of tears.
“What do you want to do, Ansley?” I looked over at him and he looked crushed. It pulled at my heart, but I had to do what was best for me and the baby.
“I think I should head home in the morning. Back to Max’s. We’ll stay in touch and I’ll keep you up to date with the baby, but it’s probably best if we figure out what the future is going to look like now instead of waiting until she gets here.”
“What is there that we need to figure out? I thought we did that. You moved in. I’m taking care of you both. I didn’t plan for that to change.”
“That’s the problem Nick, you just think that because I willingly came that you get to keep me. Regardless of my feelings and yours. I should have thought this through better. I was just so happy to have you back that I… I don’t know. I just fucked everything up again, okay?”
