Page 39 of Make You Love Me

I think something heavy is pressing down on my chest. I need to get it off me so I can vomit. My hands are trembling uncontrollably. I can't believe he would betray me like this. That he would go to someone likeherof all people.

I meet James’ eyes in the rearview mirror.

“What do you need Miss Lottie?” he asks.

Answering through broken sobs I didn’t even know I was crying, I say, “Pull the car over, please.”

I can barely register anything happening until James comes around to open my door for me. My hands are on my chest, trying to soothe the overwhelming pain I feel as I get out of the car.

I immediately drop to my knees, feeling the tiny rocks at the edge of the pavement digging into my hands and knees as I hit the ground. James tries to help me stand, probably thinking I fell, but I push him off and then lean forward to empty whatever little bit of food I have in my stomach.

I stay there on my knees for seconds, minutes, hours, I honestly don’t know.

I don’t snap out of it until James puts a hand on my back and says, “Miss Lottie, your phone is vibrating. Miss Sally is calling you. We need to go so you don’t miss your flight.”

Hearing Sally’s name and knowing that I need to get home to my Papa has me coming out of this surreal nightmare I’m stuck in.

Heading back to the car, James hands me my phone and shuts the door behind me.

I may have exited the car a broken, sad girl, but now I’m a broken, angry-beyond-words girl. Reaching for my phone, I block Greyson’s number and the number of whoever sent the video.Doesn’t take a genius to know it was probably that raging slut Amber.I don’t want to hear a word he’ll have to say when he realizes the big fucking mistake he made.

Fuck them both. They can have each other. I know I’m worth so much more than Amber any day of the week. So, Greyson can keep his stupid slut for all I care. I can find better. I deserve better.

My heart shatters a little with that lie I’m telling myself. I may not mean it quite yet, but I am determined to get there. Greyson may have helped create the strong, confident girl I was turning into this summer, but it’s up to me to maintain her, and I most certainly will.

I slam my head against the seat’s headrest and scream with pain and frustration as my heart feels like it’s literally cracking into a million pieces. My screams eventually turn into quiet sniffles as the tears continue to fall down my cheeks. I cry, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts of Greyson and me. For everything I thought we had and just lost within a matter of hours. I cry for all of it.

Why? Why did you do this, Greyson?

Why did you make me love you if it was all for nothing?

PART TWO

Chapter Twelve

Bylunchtime,Iamsick of hearing about how smoking hot the new girl is. I know my friends are just trying to help pull me out of my funk. They think I can fuck Lottie out of my system, but what they don't get is she's anchored to my fucking soul.

The past month and a half without her has been pure hell. Luckily for me, I'm not the life of the party anyway, so only those really close to me know I'm struggling.

There's no getting Lottie out of my head either. No matter how pissed I am. Yeah, I was the dick who ran out on her before letting her explain, but I had to get away from there before I did something that would get me in serious trouble. Seeinghimof all people anywhere near my girl had me feeling fucking murderous.

The next day, when I went back to Nori Beach to explain where my head was at, she was gone. Shortly after that shocking discovery, I realized she had blocked me on everything as well. The Lottie I love would have never given up on me so easily. Part of me thinks her evil-ass grandma had something to do with it.

Despite that, why wouldn’t Lottie have found a way to let me know something? Unless she found out my secrets and didn’t want to hear my side of it. No… there’s no way.

I was, and still am, so confused. I want fucking answers.

Trent swears he knows nothing. Ashley told him if he didn’t stop trying to fish for information about Lottie, she was going to cut him off. Which coincides with the middle finger emoji and the“Fuck off asshole” message I received back when I reached out to Ashley.I got Trent to agree to let me come up and hang with him the first weekend in November. Since that’s the only weekend we won’t have a football game, I can fly to New York after practice on Friday. Trent’s older brother, Trevor, will pick me up because Trent said he has something going on that Friday he can’t miss. I plan to talk to the Rebel Knights’ PI, Casen, this week. If he can get me an address for Lottie’s great-grandparents’ house, that's the first place I’m going when I touch down at JFK.

I honestly wish I had done that weeks ago, but like with the death of a loved one, I went through the stages of grief. At first, I was in complete denial and kept thinking she was going to call me at any minute and explain what the hell happened. Then I was fucking pissed. This is when my dad, Nox, and Ford figured out something was seriously wrong. I was picking fights with everyone, trying to drink my weight in tequila, and harassing Trent about being a Judas-of-a-cousin for not telling me what was going on.

Recently I’ve been somewhere between that stage and just straight up depressed… a terrible combo. Thank God for football. If the coach hadn’t threatened to kick me off the team with my continuous half-ass attempts of maintaining my spot on the D-Line, I probably wouldn’t have gotten my head out of my ass. Football has been the distraction I needed. Plus I get to take my anger out on the field.

Ford slaps me on the arm, bringing me back to the present. “G seriously wait till you see the rack on this girl, and she has a fat ass.” He fakes dying as he lays across the table, then continues, “She’s beautiful too… probably the baddest chick I’ve ever seen.”

I just smirk at his horny ass and shake my head, thinking to myself maybe she is, but he hasn’t seen Lottie yet and I know for a fact no one holds a candle to her.

Amber huffs and rolls her eyes at Ford. Just her presence annoys me. She is one of the jock hoppers, the chicks that are always hanging around, just trying to be seen and hook up with us. No matter how many hints I try to drop about not wanting more from her, she still follows me around.

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