Page 23 of Make You Love Me

He continues, “It’s about time you stopped fucking with girls that don’t mean shit to you. Not every chick is like your mom, Greyson.”

I love you Dad, but why the fuck do we have to bring her up?

The thought of Lottie leaving me to be with some guy who fits in her family’s tax bracket has my blood boiling. Would Lottie do that to me? I just have to remind myself not everyone is like my mother, a woman who cherished the green over her family.

“That woman doesn’t affect my decisions. But seriously, no other girl has ever held my interest like Lottie does. Speaking of that, I need to get going so I can finish the truck up before it's time to go grab her.”

“All right my boy, have fun. wrap it up and treat her right. We miss you and love you.”

“Love you too Pops. I’ll see you soon. May even have to bring Lottie to meet you,” I say as I hang up.

My dad is the toughest motherfucker on the street, but he loves like no other. He is loved as much as he is feared. He has never once made me question his love for me, but it never gets old hearing his stern voice get all soft towards me.

He has instilled a lot of himself into me.

Don’t mess with anyone I care about, and we're straight.

Loyalty is everything.

If you are in my circle, I will die for you.

Completely devoted to the ones I love.

Lately, that circle and devotion seems to be growing by one sweet, curvy, brunette beauty.

Chapter Seven

I'maballofnerves as I throw everything imaginable into my overnight bag. This is really happening. Holy shit.

Honestly, this thing between Greyson and I almost feels too good to be true, but I am enjoying every minute with him. He makes me feel important, like he latches onto everything I say and do. It’s something I haven’t felt in quite some time, to be honest.

One would probably say I'm a bit jaded when it comes to forming close relationships with people. Between my dad leaving before I was born, to my mother passing away when I was eight, I have a tough time with deep connections. Let’s be real, everything is so temporary in this life. It’s only a matter of time before something happens and loved ones disappear, so why bother?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always felt loved being raised by my great-grandparents, but there was definitely something missing. And now that it’s just my Papa and me, I’ve been feeling some sort of way lately.

Ashley has been the only constant outside of my great-grandparents. She’s the one I run to for everything, always giving me her fair and honest opinion. Never one to judge or turn up her nose. I’m so thankful for her and her family. They arrived in New York when I needed them the most, and they’ve always been there for me when I need them.

So, after chatting into the wee hours of the morning with Ashley, I think I'm ready. Ready for anything that could possibly happen between Greyson and me tonight. My cheeks flush with the thought of Greyson’s large body over mine, whispering filthy words that set my body on fire.

Not sure how my mom would feel about me losing my virginity. These are the times I wonder what our relationship would be like. I honestly think I would have felt comfortable enough to open up to her about it. After all, she lost her virginity at sixteen… well, according to her journal, she did.

Going over to my closet, I reach behind my coats to the built-in shelf where I keep my mother’s box of her most-prized possessions.

Gigi passed down my mother's keepsakes when I was entering my freshman year of high school. She figured I was old enough to take care of them, and that my mother would have wanted me to have them.

There were a ton of things inside the box, from concert ticket stubs and mix tapes to journals and love notes. All giving me a small glimpse into the teenager my mother was. I cherish everything inside her keepsake box as if it was some fortune-filled treasure chest. To anyone else, this box might seem like the contents of a teen's junk drawer, but to me, these items are irreplaceable. Just like her charm bracelet that I wear daily, everything this box contains helps me keep her close.

Her notes and journals have become a source of comfort. At first, I felt wrong reading them, but then I realized she wanted me to have this. Wanted me to learn everything I could about her. Not only does it make me feel closer to her, but it has also inspired me to start my own journal. It's a great form of self-care to write out all your feelings. I wonder if that’s why my mom started hers?

Her first journal starts about the same time she meets the great love of her life. I know the particular entry I’m looking for because it’s actually my favorite. While it spoke of her love and the loss of her virginity, it spoke of me as well.

Dear Journal,

I gave away a piece of myself last night.

I gave it away to the guy who makes my knees weak and my toes tingle with just one look.

I gave it away to the best person in the whole world, and I couldn’t be happier.

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