Page 20 of Make You Miss Me

I know my family all love me and empathize with me, but none of them truly understand my feelings. They think I’m blowing this shit out of proportion, which I’m not. I just wish we didn’t live under such archaic rules.

My brother says he’s sorry for the shit hand I’ve been dealt, but does he even really get it? I mean, at the end of the day, he still gets to do whatever the fuck he wants because he is a man and that’s all that matters in the world we live in.

Then you have my parents who got about as lucky as any made man and Italian princess can be. They had an arranged marriage, but they fell deeply in love with each other. Which is extremely rare under the circumstances.

My father often likes to remind me of that and to keep an open mind regarding my inevitable future.

3 years earlier-

I’m sobbing into my mother’s chest, begging her to fix this as she rubs my hair silently. Not saying a word, just trying to soothe me and help me process the bomb they just dropped on me.

I hear my father’s voice, soft but stern, “Isabelle leave us please, I want to talk to my princess.”

Looking up at him with more disdain than I ever have before, I say, “DO NOT call me that. If I was your princess, you would not be making me do this!”

As one of the most trusted soldiers in the NYC crime families, my father doesn’t take disrespect lightly, but right now, he knows I have every right to be upset. My whole life has been turned upside down. One moment I’m a normal teenager living my life and the next I’m being informed of my wedding date to a complete stranger.

He takes my mother’s place beside me, but I don’t give him a chance to speak before I tell him exactly how I feel.

“This is such bullshit. I was always made to believe that because of your position in the family, I wouldn’t have my husband chosen for me. Now suddenly, I am being promised to the worst of the worst. Giovanni Junior!”

My father decides to speak up then. “You don’t even know Junior.”

“I know of the stories of his father, who is as unpredictable as he is malicious. Per your mouth.”

“His son has a better head on his shoulders. Our families are seeing eye to eye more than ever, with Junior taking over some of the control. I believe he will treat you well and you could have a great life with him. Look at your mother and me. I met her for the first time three months before we were married, and it was love at first sight. She is my everything.”

I pull on my hair, wanting to pull it out as I growl at my father. “And you know that is a rarity. Name one other couple we associate with who has the type of love you and mom share. Name one other made man who has stayed faithful to his wife and kids?”

My father’s silence is an answer in itself. I may only be sixteen, but I am mature for my age and always pay attention when it matters, as he has taught me.

“Why me?” I sob again, thinking about my dreams of a fairytale love story I had always hoped I would have one day.

My father lightly strokes my hair, trying to calm me down. “Sweetheart, as you know I’m one of Santini’s most trusted soldiers, and I have moved up in the ranks over the years, which makes me and my family more involved.” Pointing from himself to me, insinuating my involvement just because I am his daughter.

Continuing he says, “At the black and white gala last month, you stunned Gio and his people when they saw you all grown up. Your beauty was expected because it was often said you were the spitting image of your mother, who is always the most gorgeous woman in the room. Well, at the Gala, you gave her a run for her money and since you are single and unpromised, a buzz started and hasn’t stopped until this morning when we made it official.”

He pauses and I don’t even know what to say. Maybe I should be flattered, but I can’t find it in me to feel anything other than dread and anxiety regarding my future. My dreams of a career in fashion design and of a loving family are now totally out of my control, and that’s freaking scary to me.

Now that I’ve stopped crying again, my father must take that as a sign that I’ve accepted my fate.He stands but leans down to kiss the top of my head and says, “Ash, I would never allow harm to be brought upon you. I expect Junior to treat you with love and respect or else he will have to answer to the Santinis because this binding is helping them as well. Therefore, you will be under their protection.”

He lifts my chin so I’m looking at him. “Just give him a chance, princess. He may surprise you.”

I give my father a nod, but inside my wheels are turning and I’m already thinking of a way out of this. I refuse to live a life I don’t want to live.

The memory of that conversation does absolutely nothing to ease my thoughts. Deciding I can’t sit in this house any longer, I grab my key chain that has a full can of pepper spray attached and head out into the warm summer night for a walk.

Even at night, the mugginess that summer always brings to the city hits me when I step out of our brownstone. It’s nothing like a summer night’s walk on the beach in North Carolina. Not much can compare to that. Especially if it involves a certain local hottie who makes my knees weak.

See, this is what my life has turned into. I can’t even think about the New York City heat without my thoughts venturing back to him. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I can’t truly have him that’s making him even more irresistible to me, or if it’s just him. Honestly, I think it’s the latter.

As I wander around the city, not knowing where exactly I’m going, I let my thoughts turn to Trent.

From the first moment we laid eyes on each other, there has just been something unexplainable about him. Even at the party in Nori Beach, I felt the pull toward him.

I love to have a good time and am by no means innocent, but I normally make them work a little harder before I get taken against a guy’s bedroom wall. But with him, I knew within a few minutes of dancing that I had to have him and fast.

Now that I’ve had him, the need is even worse. The way he continues to not give up on me is such a turn on and it’s fucking with my head. The main problem isn’t him, it’s me. I’m scared I’ll want more from him than just being his fuck buddy and it’s because of me that that’s all we ever will be.

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