Page 3 of What the Heart Wants (Desires of the Heart 1)

Maybe he will warm up to me. Yeah, that’s it. I tell myself as I leave the room and they all leave to their separate offices.

I blow out a breath and sit next to Jenny. She chuckles at the look on my face and pats my arm gently. “At least you got the big meet out of the way.”

I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess. They seem nice, except Levi looks like he’d rather I quit on the spot. What’s his deal?” I ask turning to her.

She shakes her head with a chuckle. “I’m not sure. Honestly, in the years I have worked here, he has always been that way toward everyone that isn’t Ethan, Grayson, or Asher.”

“I wonder why; how long have you been working here?” I ask, realizing that I didn’t know that fact. She seems pretty comfortable with them.

“Five years. The last secretary or, I guess, personal assistant quit or was fired. I’m not sure. I was in between jobs, and my husband works in their finance department and offered my name. I guess they needed someone short notice who knew how to do the job. Since I had been in this field of work for years but moved here to be with my husband, it was a no brainer. They gave me a trial period, and I guess they liked me because I got offered the job permanently, and now here we are,” she says with a shrug.

I sit back in my chair and wonder what happened five years ago. Why would someone leave like that? But, given Levi’s cold attitude, I could understand why someone wouldn’t be comfortable here. But that’s not something that would stop me. Sure, I may be easy going and cheery now but, if Levi doesn’t let up soon, I’m afraid I’m going to speak up and he’s not going to like that.

Chapter Two

Levi

This can’t be happening.

It has been so long since I had found a woman attractive. Five years to be exact. I’d like to say that I’m sorry for the cold shoulder I gave Kyla, but it needed to be done. I had seen the way she looked at all of us, and the way everyone looked at her. She has long, wavy brown hair with highlights, brown eyes, and tanned skin. She wore a long-sleeved top and pencil skirt that had completely showed off her curves. She had a pretty decent size of breasts, and a curve to her hips that I wanted to grab onto as I took her from behind. When she wasn’t looking at us, I could see the curve of her ass that made you want to squeeze to see if it felt as good as it looked. My eyes had travelled down to the lean look of her legs all the way down to the bright purple high heels she was wearing. She was undeniably sexy, and exactly my type.

Which was completely the problem.

What no one really knows is that the four of us come together. We had been that way for as long as I remember. We have always been more than just best friends which is why we like our privacy. We had our offices on our own floor for the privacy. I loved each of them with everything I had.

I had always known that I was bisexual. I met Ethan in high school, and he later had told me that he was bisexual as well. We both looked and felt attracted to the same women and shared them a time or two but, when a woman only wanted one of us and not the other, we cut her loose. We didn’t really hide the fact that we were together, but we didn’t go broadcasting it either. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

I had been in a relationship with Ethan for a couple years when we went off to the same college. We had the same dream to start a company together.

Asher and Grayson came together as a pair just like we did. I wasn’t sure if they knew that we were into women as well when they met us, but we became fast friends. We were neighbours all going to the same University. Ethan and I had opted for an apartment so that we could live together, and Asher and Grayson ended up living across the hall. All it took was a night of drinking and a slip of the hands to have us waking up with our four bodies tangled together. The sexual chemistry was hard to deny. I wasn’t jealous when I saw Ethan touch one of them, and neither was he. When it became obvious that we all felt the same way with each other, we became exclusive with the four of us. It didn’t take long for us to share an apartment.

I loved them as much as I loved Ethan.

The thing was that we all knew something was missing. There was the softness and gentleness of a woman that none of us quite had. We loved being together, but something about bringing a woman between us was an experience that I wanted to have with us. We all brought something to this relationship, but we felt like we had been waiting for our woman to come along.

Bethany had come along. She was something else. There were ways she completed us that I don’t think she was aware of. She had never favoured any one of us over the other and, to this day, I miss her like crazy and half expect her to walk through the door. I miss the sounds of her laughter. She never judged us from the get-go. There were always women trying to get the thrill of being with four men, but would get jealous when we had touched one another. I would never give up touching my men. If a woman didn’t like it, then she wasn’t the one for us.

In the end, we had lost Bethany. I haven’t been the same man since the accident. She was hit by a drunk driver. Bethany went out that night to go meet her sister for drinks. She didn’t make it to the pub. You would think it would have been dark and bad weather but, no, it was just a person making a stupid decision that took her away from the people who loved her.

I drop my head into my hands at the thought of that night. I remember hanging out with the guys and getting the call from the hospital. We made it in time to say “goodbye,” but that was it. She was gone. One night I was loving her, we were all loving her, and the next she wasn’t there. I still feel that one day she could walk through the door, or I would wake up from this nightmare and none of this would have been real.

I shake away the thoughts and feelings that always emerge when I think about her.

Rubbing a hand over my face, I try to concentrate on my work. Getting lost in my work helps, but the only thing to really take me away from the pain is being comforted by one of the guys. I can’t bring myself to bother them right now. We have all dealt with our grief in different ways.

I don’t know how long I spend lost in my work when my office door opens but, when I look at the clock, I see that a few hours have passed and I missed half of the lunch hour. When I look toward the door, I see Asher walk in with a bag of take-out. I smile gratefully at him.

He puts the bag on my desk and walks behind me. He starts rubbing my shoulders like he knows how tense I am without saying anything. Asher has been the best at reading people, so maybe he does know how tense I am. Some days he knows me better than I know myself.

“What’s with the face today? You seem moodier than usual,” he says walking to sit on the edge of my desk beside me. I move so that I can fit him between my legs. He ends up moving to the middle of my desk and sits down.

Running my hands up his thighs and to his hips, he smiles at me. “Nothing; just thinking mostly. I miss her,” I tell him honestly.

“Hmmm… I miss her too, Levi. This seems more than that though. It wouldn’t happen to have to do with a certain new brown headed bombshell that works for us now, would it?” he says raising an eyebrow at me.

I chuckle and shake my head. “Why would you say that? I just hope she can do the job. She’s got no experience. Have you seen her resume?” I ask baffled as to why Jenny would hire someone who hasn’t had a job before, which is completely shocking since the girl is twenty-six years old.

He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure we all looked at it, but I trust Jenny. She knew what she was doing. If she says this Kyla can handle it, then I’ll give her a shot,” he says with a shrug.

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