Page 21 of The Alpha's Silent Mate

Relieved he misread the reason for my sadness, I rest my head against his shoulder and force my body to relax.

Shay combs a hand through my hair, one slow stroke at a time until my forced relaxation no longer feels forced. My eyelids grow heavy.

With one arm snug around my waist and his hand playing with my hair, the crackling wood from the fire, and the scent of his skin all work to soothe me into quiet contentment.

But I’m not ready to sleep yet. I want the stories that Shay promised me, so to show him I’m still awake, I brush my fingers against his chest, just over his heart.

The soft sigh he releases ruffles my hair, and his arm tightens around my waist. “There aren’t many more stories about me I could tell,” he murmurs, sounding as relaxed as I feel. “I think I told you most of them back in your room.”

Most, but not all.

“I could tell you how I became alpha, but it’s not a relaxing story.” His voice is heavy with reluctance, and I tense as I wait to see if he will tell me. “But I can feel your questions, pup.”

How can he read me so well?

“You wondered about the stew,” he murmurs, “so I’ll start with how I grew up in the kitchen while my father ruled as alpha.”

I close my eyes and settle in for a story that’s not starting at all how I was expecting. Beneath my eyelids, an image of a small blond boy with eyes the color of an ocean takes shape.

“Everyone knew I’d eventually become alpha. Everyone but me, that is.” He sighs. “Or maybe I did. I just didn’t want to.”

Outside, a wind blows hard enough to rattle the door, and when I tense, Shay squeezes me. “Just the wind. No one is there. My nose would warn us before they got to the door.”

But they surprised us before.

Once again, Shay proves to be a mind reader. “And this time, I’m not about to kiss a beautiful woman who distracts me beyond all reason.”

His words warm me. I feel the pleasure snake through me, coiling around my heart, my chest, and my soul. He doesn’t just need me because I’m his mate; he wants me too.

“I didn’t want the responsibility of being alpha. I wanted to be free, and nowhere felt freer than in the kitchen.”

It seems like a strange place to find freedom, but when I think of the manic pace, the laughter, the heat, and the scent explosion in my old pack kitchen, I understand why he would go there.

In the kitchen, it didn’t matter where you ranked in the pack hierarchy. All that mattered was the need to feed the pack. Everyone worked together with that one goal in mind.

Shay proves it’s not only our attraction that we have in common with his next words. “No one cared I was the heir apparent. I was just another hand to stir the pot or chop the potatoes. I was like everyone else.”

But a life like that wouldn’t have lasted long. Not if his father was alpha. Shay would need to learn how to lead a pack as large as the Clayfells.

“Life stayed that way until I was twelve. I was carefree and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life working in the kitchen with everyone else. I was happy.”

My relaxation fades, because his words sound like an ending. Happiness stopped for the boy as he started on his path to become a man.

“An alpha always keeps a distance between himself and the rest of the pack. One day, you will have to kill them when they step out of line or threaten the safety of the rest. It’s less painful to do if they are not your friends.”

I hear Shay’s voice, but the words sound like they belong to someone else.

It must be his father who told him this.

“Those words were the start of my lessons. The rest were more painful. I…” He pauses for a beat. “I’d rather you didn’t hear those, pup.”

I squeeze him so he knows it's okay, that he doesn’t have to tell me anything that hurts.

“All the friends I played with before became strangers. We spoke in the hallway when we saw each other, but nothing was ever the same. Once I skipped my lessons and snuck back into the kitchen, thinking I could do what I want. I knew my father wouldn’t punish me because he needed me to be alpha. And I was right. He didn’t. It was my friends he punished, and I learned what would happen if I ever went back. So I didn’t make that same mistake again.”

In my mind, a grinning boy with blond hair and turquoise eyes hardens and grows into a man who rarely smiles, and who speaks in orders.

“When I was seventeen, my father lost an alpha challenge.”

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