Page 61 of Lawless Deception

“Duly noted. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else I need to be. Make yourself at home, Jess.” I walk away with a smile on my face.

I jog up the stairs and reach Maddox’s door just as a deep groan comes from the other side. My hand rests on the handle, ready to open it and go inside, but something holds me back.

Jess’ words have obviously got inside my head more than I thought. I spin on my heels and slip inside my own room, leaving Maddox and Rox to it. It’s not that I don’t want to be in there with them. God, I’d love nothing more than to be balls deep inside her again, but I feel Maddox needs her more right now.

I run a hand through my hair as I pace my room feeling agitated, but I can’t place where it’s stemming from. Something feels off. Something is coming. I have no idea what, but I know we need to be ready.

How the hell do you prepare for something you can’t see coming?

Walking to my wardrobe, I open the door, pulling out trousers and a shirt, but as I’m about to turn away, my eyes snag on a box sitting in the bottom.

Tossing the clothes on the bed, I lean down and lift the box out. Carrying it to the bed, I sit as I flip the lid off. Inside are a stack of photos, many of them taken with an old Polaroid camera, along with several flyers from a couple of raves that Mad and I went to and half a dozen other little mementos from our teen years.

I flick through the photos, most are candid shots of us and Rox pissing around, but a couple of them are posed shots. I stop on one of the three us together. I don’t remember who took it, but it looks like we are in Rox’s old flat, which she shared with her mum and sister. She’s in between us, our arms slung over her shoulders, and a wide and genuine smile lights up her face.

It was taken at a time when things were far less complicated, and we still had a lingering innocence to us. Moving it to the side, the next photo tells of a completely different story. Roving my eyes over the picture, I bring it closer to get a better look at Rox’s face as she poses with Maddox’s gun. The exact one she was asking about. This time, there’s still a smile on her face, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, which have a hardened look now. There’s no spark at all. I know exactly when this is.

It’s the night Theo gifted Maddox the gun. It’s the night after Rox had her first run in with Rogers. It’s also the night that sealed our fate. We didn’t know it then, but it soon became very fucking clear.

A noise in the hallway snaps me from my memories, and I begin putting everything back in the box as Rox’s voice filters through to me.

“Not impressed, Maddox.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining while I was…”His voice trails off as they move further away and head downstairs.

I’m placing the photos back in the box when something niggles at the back of my mind about them, but I can’t put my finger on what. Brushing it off, I shove the lid on the box and put it back in my wardrobe.

Back downstairs, there’s no sign of Rox or Jess, and I’m guessing they’ve gone off to have that ‘girl talk’ before they all leave with Axel and Eva.

Conversation is stilted in the lounge as Maddox and Rick give each other death glares from across the room, and Maria chats with Eva. Drew stands like a damn sentry at the side of the room.

Axel is sitting next to Eva, but he’s not paying attention to their conversation, instead his eyes are on me. He gets to his feet and comes over when our eyes meet.

“Hey, man,” he says tentatively. I don’t respond above a chin lift, and he takes that as a sign to continue with whatever it is he feels he needs to say. “Look, I’m sorry, Zak. I know that what I did—”

“What you did should have earned you a one-way ticket to a painful end and a place at the bottom of the Thames as fish food. The fact you’re still fucking breathing is thanks to one person, and it ain’t me or Maddox, man.”

“I know. But I need you to know that I would never have given him more, Zak. I’d never have sold you out completely. I’d have given my life before that happened. You and Maddox have been like a family to me.”

I finally turn to look at him. “You don’t fucking sell out family, Axel. Ever.” He goes to cut me off, but I hold a hand up for him to let me finish. “But I get it. Sometimes even loyalty is pushed aside when it comes to those you love. Hell, Maddox and I have compromised ourselves more times than I can count for the very same reason.”

Axel nods his agreement, and I know he knows who I’m talking about. He knows because she’s the very reason he and Eva are getting out of here safely.

We settle into a comfortable silence and a mutual acceptance that past failings should now be left in the past.

After a short time, Axel moves back to his seat beside Eva, and I watch as her hand slides into his and each ask if the other is okay.

It makes me think of the kind of future I want. The kind of future that Maddox and I always wanted but was never possible before. Now though, that future is within grasp, but there is still a long way to go. A lot that still needs to be disclosed and even more that Rox needs to learn and suffer through before we can get there.

I don’t doubt that the hate she’s been harbouring for us the past ten years is even remotely close to the hate she’s going to have when the full extent of our knowledge and involvement comes to light.

I hate so much of my past, but not enough to regret the things I’ve done. My only regret is the many years of absence from her life. Given the choice, I’d choose the same fucking path every time.

Maddox shifts from where he was leaning against the far wall and comes to stand beside me.

“Will you relax for fuck’s sake. They’ll be gone soon,” I say, thinking that the stern look on his face is down to Axel and Rick still invading his air space.

“Yeah, not fucking soon enough for me. But it’s not that. Rocky messaged to say that there’s been an increased cop presence around Rogue and The Scarlet Door. This has that cunt Noah’s name all over it.”

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