Page 104 of Reckless

Epilogue

Jamie

Two weeks later

A week ago, I said goodbye to my oldest friend, and it hurt like hell.

Two days ago, I said goodbye to the most important, and inspirational woman in my life, my mum.

I thought I knew pain before, but I was wrong. A spear to the heart would have hurt less than seeing my mum’s coffin being carried into the church. Knowing I’ll never hear her laugh again, see her smile, or feel her arms comfort me in the way only a mother can, has ripped me wide open.

And now, here I stand, holding the last and final thing she will ever give to me. I’ve been so afraid to open it. Afraid of what it will say.

The weeks leading up to her death, were spent with me barely even speaking to her, and I have no way to tell her how sorry I am. How wrong I was about her, and how much I love her.

A few days after she died, Dad came to see me and explained that the affair had all been a lie. She never cheated on my dad. Marcus was blackmailing her in attempt to ruin him and steal my mum away from him. I felt so sick because I had accused her of doing what Josh did to me, when really, she was trying to protect us all.

Died protecting us.

Dropping down onto the bed, I look at my name written across the front in my mum’s beautiful handwriting, and I swear she’s here with me, urging me to open it and promising it will all be okay.

With one final deep breath, I turn it over, ripping it open and pausing for a second before pulling the paper inside free.

My dearest Jamie,

I’m afraid that if you’re reading this, then I’m no longer with you and have fulfilled the promise I made the day you were born. A promise to keep you safe no matter what and is one I believe every mother makes when they hold their baby for the very first time.

It is a promise you yourself will make when you and Seb have those many babies destined for you too.

Don’t screw your face up, Missy. It’s going to happen, trust me.

I laughthrough my tears at the fact she knew exactly what face I would pull. I swipe at my wet cheeks before continuing.

He’s a keeper, Jamie. Make sure you hold onto him and love him with everything you’ve got because he deserves it just like you do.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m not sad I’ll never get to see you walk down the aisle or meet my grandchildren, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

But I do need you to promise me something, don’t blame yourself, Jamie, because none of this was your fault, and there’s nothing you could have done to change what happened. I know things were strained between us, but you must know that I was never cross with you, never hated you for being so angry with me, if anything, I love you even more for standing by your morals, for being exactly who your dad and I raised you to be. I couldn’t be prouder or love you anymore for being the beautiful, strong woman you’ve become, and I know you’ll continue to make us proud every day.

Don’t be sad, sweetie. I know I’m not there, but I’ll always be in your heart. I’ll be watching over you and your dad and loving you from above.

All my love

Mum XX

Dropping the letter to the bed, I hold my head in my hands and sob. I sob for my loss, and I sob in relief. I didn’t realise how much I needed to read those words. For the past two weeks, I’ve done nothing but worry that my mum died thinking her only daughter hated her, that I didn’t love her. But that’s not true, she knew. Slowly, as my sobs ebb away, someone drops down on the floor in front of me, gripping my wrists.

“Jamie, why didn’t you call me?” he whispers.

I sniff, trying to wipe my eyes while Seb still holds onto my wrists. When I raise my head, he’s on his knees in front of me. “I…I don’t know because…I’m stubborn,” I stutter out through hitched breaths, but smiling at him.

Seb shakes his head with a small smile kicking up the side of his mouth. “Ain’t going to argue with you about that.”

I twist my hands so that I’m mirroring his hold on my wrists. “Not if you know what’s good for you,” I say with smirk.

“I know what’s good for me, you riding my dick all night long,” he teases before leaning in and kissing me. Just as our lips meet the doorbell rings, and Seb groans as I break the kiss.

“Hold that thought,” I say on a laugh as we both get up. I head out of the door first, Seb trailing behind me, and I know he’s adjusting the erection he’s now sporting.

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