Page 115 of A Wicked Kind of Husband

She lifted herself up and stared at him, but the dim light masked her expression.

“To discuss your mother,” he clarified.

Her fingertips pressed into his chest and she brushed her lips over his cheek. Lingered. “Thank you. Yes.” She dropped back against him. “You will go back to Birmingham soon?”

“Soon. That’s where my life is.” He tangled his fingers in her hair, and his heart kicked up too hard. She would feel that. She would know. “We could all travel together,” he suggested. “I could break my journey at Sunne Park. Meet these famous pigs you’re always blathering on about.”

“That would be nice.”

His heart settled. The silence and the darkness mingled with her presence and bathed him in contentment. She shifted off him and turned over, and he curled himself around her.

The house had almost settled for the night; no sounds but the uneven footsteps of Isaac heading up to his room. Cassandra was soft and her breathing was even, and it was only because he thought she slept that he spoke.

“Are you with child?” he whispered into the night.

She stirred. He ought not have asked. “It’s too soon to tell.”

“When will you know? I want to know.”

“Hush. We must be patient.”

He caught himself tensing his muscles and willed them to relax. “It seems like an inefficient system to me.”

“And yet babies keep on getting born.”

“That’s human ingenuity, that is.”

“Oh, isthatwhat you call it?”

He fancied she sounded strained too, but he could hardly tell what was real anymore.

“I could stay until you know, before I go home to Birmingham,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

She said nothing, and nothing, until her nothing grew so heavy it almost crushed him.

I want you, he wanted her to say.I want you, with or without a child. But that was merely his vanity talking, his selfishness. His life was in Birmingham and everything he wanted now was there. It was just that sometimes he got confused, because Cassandra felt so good, and there was no shame in caring about her, and they’d had an odd night, and everything had been topsy-turvy since she arrived.

But he had made the promise now.

“About the child, I mean,” he clarified.

“Yes.”

“So that’s settled then.”

She was still. Stiff. She did not move, but a gap opened up between them anyway, and he did not know what he had done wrong or how he had misunderstood.

But then she spun in his arms and threw herself onto him, her hands and mouth attacking him with a startling hunger and passion. He had no time to wonder, as his desire flamed and burned everything else to ash. She climbed on top of him and he welcomed her. Urged her, breathlessly, to take him and hungrily, greedily, took as much of her as he could. He knew her passion was fired by her longing for a child, he knew that, but if he focused on the sensations, he could almost believe it was her longing for him, because if she longed hard enough, and loved him hard enough, then it would be safe to hold onto her, for they would never fall apart.

Chapter 27

The next day, Cassandra woke late, and alone. She stretched with contentment in the warm bed, until she remembered the detritus of her life. The thought of facing her sisters at breakfast made her feel faint, and perhaps Joshua had anticipated that, for he had sent up a pot of tea and a slice of pound cake, along with a rose, and she wondered if that was his idea or if he’d simply told the servants to send what she liked, and she decided it didn’t matter, because he would leave in the end anyway.

She looked at the tea and cake, and remembered his words, and felt nauseous.This is regret making me ill, she thought. She had never imagined she was betraying herself, when she agreed that when it was over with Lucy and the Bolderwoods, it would be over with them. She hadagreed. She had evenwantedit.

His own position was plain: He would leave her as soon as she confirmed that she was with child. The child he intended to ignore. It was a victory, of sorts: At least she was getting a baby out of it. Oh, yes, a triumph indeed. She almost wished she could never get pregnant, because then he could never leave.

But it didn’t work like that. One way or another, he would go. She must take what she could and be glad for it.

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