Page 40 of The Yes Factor

“Exactly, bro!” Toby reaches across the table to give Jason an enthusiastic high five.

“Liv, I need to run to the ladies’. Come with me.” Bex grabs my arm.

We both sit there and wait for either Jason or Toby to move out of our way so we can leave the booth. Jason is staring at his phone. Toby finally gets up so we can leave and says with tacky innuendo, “Don’t have too much fun without us. Or if you do, take photos.”

“Liv, who the hell are these morons? How does he have my photo?” Bex talk-shouts to me over her shoulder, furious. She’s walking so fast I can hardly keep up. “Have you been on my phone? I changed all the passwords for my profiles. I told you not to mess with anything! Where is the damn bathroom?”

“Um, you gave me your phone to help navigate to yoga, remember?” I quietly reply. “I might have gone on Tinder.”

“I can’t believe you! I really can’t.” Bex pushes open the door of the women’s bathroom.

“I mean, he’s cute,” I say in weak defense. “And he’s probably too young to be a felon?” I’m floundering and I know it.

“How could you do this to me after last night? He’s an asshole, and his friend is even more of an asshole. He’s nowhere near as cute as those men who sent over the drinks. And that just happened organically, analog-ally! Jack and Coke, my ass.” Bex is indignant, then looks around slightly bewildered. “Is this the bathroom?”

“It’s looks like a Mary Kay cosmetics showroom.” I’m confused, or maybe drunk. “Let’s talk, okay? Please don’t be mad. I just thought it’d be fun to see what else is out there. You had your age range set at forty to fifty-five! I’m surprised you didn’t just go up to sixty. So, I lowered it a bit. Look, there’s actually a sofa in here.”

We plop down on the pink velour sofa; the bourbon hitting both of us hard. Suddenly, two glasses of rose champagne float in front of us. “Complimentary bubbles?” a young woman asks. We exchange side glances, and a “what the hell” look and take the glasses. “Well, we sure as hell didn’t get served free champagne in bathrooms when we used to go bar hopping.” Bex’s voice is still brimming with irritation.

“This is a Lounge, not a bathroom,” I correct her sarcastically, trying to lift her mood.

“I’m still mad at you, by the way.” Bex begrudgingly clinks my champagne glass with hers. “I would rather join a convent than deal with guys like that.”

“Bex, you basically already live like you’re in a convent. When was the last time you even had a guy over? It took me flying out here to get you to even go out on dates.”

“Excuse me?” Bex takes a big swallow of the champagne. “What do you mean It took you flying out here? I didn’t ask you to come out here. I’m doing just fine. I’m not your little project. Maybe you’re the one who needs to look in the mirror!”

“Look, I’m sorry. I may not have gone about it the right way. I don’t know how to date these days either. But I do know that Patrick was a long time ago. Your marriage didn’t work out, and that’s okay. You’ve got to let go and move on.” Doesn’t she know what a catch she is?

Bex slams down her champagne flute on the glass coffee table, making me jump in my seat. “Do not go there, Liv. Do. Not. I have let go! I have moved on! Just not in the way you want me to. And do not even talk to me about marriage, or dating, or relationships like you are some kind of expert!” She makes an immediate move for the exit.

Shit, is she really leaving? I rush out to follow her.

“Bex, wait!”

She turns around and spits out, “Don’t follow me. I’m leaving. There is nothing wrong with my life. I don’t need fixing. You do!” Then, as she whips back around to make her way through the lobby, she bumps right in to Jason and Toby who seem to be on their way out, too.

“Oh, hey. I, uh, I thought you left. Have you been in the bathroom this whole time?” Jason says, sounding confused.

Are Jason and Toby ditching us? Shit, it’s supposed to be the other way around.

“Yeah, I got a call from home.” I step in to respond because Bex is standing there, too angry to say anything. And I know it’s not anger at Jason and Toby, she’s angry at me, which is even worse. These guys, they don’t mean anything to us, so I don’t even know why I’m making excuses to them.

Bex starts digging around in her purse looking for her phone. Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, a trio of young women bounce up and one of them excitedly puts her hand on Toby’s shoulder. “You’re going to totally love it. It’s like the new Glamour before Glamour got overrun with wannabes.” She flicks her freshly blown out mane and looks up and down at Bex and me. Did Jason and Toby pick up these girls while we were in the bathroom?

Another girl, spray tanned to an orange sheen of nearly burnt toast, pipes up. “Who’s Jason talking to? Jason, ohmygod, is this your mom? That is so sweet, Jason, taking your mom to a pre-party. Hi, I’m Sarah,” Sarah preens, extending her hand to Bex.

This isn’t happening. This cannot be happening.

Bex looks up from her phone and locks eyes with me. It’s as if all of Glamour & State is suspended in freeze frame. Sarah keeps her hand out, a dare, a staking of her claim to Jason. I can tell by the smug look on her face that she knows exactly what she’s doing. We look eight years older than these girls, tops! And after the torture of wrinkle reducing infrared hot yoga, maybe only five years older.

Sarah’s not budging, Bex is dead still, frozen like a cheetah stalking prey. I’m not sure what will happen next. I envision a telenovela style slap, or maybe a thrown drink. But Bex, trooper that she is, sucks it up and casually extends her arm to shake Sarah’s hand. Phew, so everything will be fine. We’re grown-ups, after all.

“So nice to meet you too, Sarah.” Bex smiles, killing her with kindness and a saccharine Southern tinge to her voice that I haven’t heard since she sweet-talked a Georgia state trooper out of a speeding ticket. I’m now back to seriously worried about what Bex has up her sleeve. Finally, letting go of Sarah’s hand, Bex turns to Jason.

“Now, Jason honey, you be good tonight. Mommy doesn’t want you out too late.” Bex leans in slowly and plants a long wet kiss on Jason’s lips. “Bye boys, y’all have fun tonight.”

Sarah and her two friends look completely freaked out. Jason is simply dumbstruck while Toby is laughing and rubbing his hands together in bro’d out glee. I’m just as stunned as Jason.

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